Alopecia World
www.alopeciaworld.com
Counselling / child psychologists
Hi all.
Wondered if anyone had any opinions on counselling for kids with alopecia? My daughter, aged 8yrs, has alopecia, and all her hair has fallen out within about one month.
So far she is coping brilliantly, and she's amazed me! Although it's been heart-breaking and I've done plenty of crying privately, my aim is not to let her see it as a terrible disaster, just a minor inconvenience.
Instead I'm focussing on giving her the message that it's only hair, and she's beautiful with or without it. And that she can still do anything she wants to in life. So far it's working - she is confident to go out bald, is happy to answer questions from other kids - and she seems to love that she can choose to go bald or wear a hat or a scarf - and very soon she'll have a wig to choose from as well.
But the last couple of weeks her grandparents keep calling up and telling us we should be taking her to a child psychologist. She's shown no signs of needing anything like this, so I hadn't pursued it at all. I'm concerned that she'd see it as a sign that something's wrong with her if we took her to one?? Something I've tried so hard not to do!
But the grandparents have just called again!
Has anyone tried counselling for their children with alopecia? What did you get out of it? How did it work? Do you think it's necessary? Has it helped?
Etc.!
Thanks so much everyone.
Replies to This Discussion
-
Permalink Reply by maria on
-
Confidence is the thing she needs the most. I am a hairdresser who worked at a hair loss center for 10 years. My interactions with my female clients was so sad that it led me to create a blog in order to help as many people as I could. If she learns to love herself first she will wear a wig by choice and not feel obligated to wear one. The most beautiful breath taking women I have met in my career we're bald. I wouldn't listen to the grandparents. Helpimlosingmyhair.com
-
-
Permalink Reply by Rose Marie' on
-
Hi
My view (as I am a mum of a daughter with alopecia) is that you know this situation better than anyone. Communicating with your daughter is the most empowering thing you can do for her. Sometimes that communicating can be uncomfortable and feel very overwhelming, sad and frightening. What I found was honesty around feelings is ok. Sometimes she will not like being bald and having to go to school feeling very different. Sometimes she will feel just the opposite taking herself and her differences as a plus in her life.
I also think it is ok for you to express your concern (within reason of course), because this isn't a positive thing that has happened. It's not something you would have picked for her or she would have picked for herself, so to be sad about that is ok as long as you find a way to move onwards and upwards. (Grieving is a part of life that has to be dealt with...loosing your hair and finding your way is a grieving process)
I cried with my daughter, she cried with me and with this came a deeper understanding that it was ok to be upset about this, it was ok to express whatever she was feeling. I made her very aware that the pain I was feeling was nothing to do with her and who she was...it was absolutely to do with her alopecia (which she could not control) and either could I. I helped her understand that she was perfect, but alopecia was not, but we were going to deal and face that together. My daughter and her innate care for me was instrumental in my innate care for her. She in the end lead the way on how she wanted to deal with this, but only when she was old enough to make educated informed decisions.
I understand that the grandparents will only have your daughters best interests at heart, but they really don't know her as you do. You can maybe ask why they think a psychologist is going to make things better at the moment...do they know something you don't??? Ask for their honesty as you need their support not their judgement. Talk to them and tell them what you have written here, as I think you are doing a stella job as a mum, I believe they will think the same.
Just keep talking to your daughter...as she will change as things change in her life. I know many lovely young girls dealing with alopecia. When they are little very few worry about their alopecia but as they grow depending on their life experiences, personalities, family situations, needs change. Just be present and there like you are now. :)
Rosy
-
© 2024 Created by Alopecia World.
Powered by
