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Comment by Christie on January 23, 2009 at 4:20pm

Thank you to everyone for your support - the next time I am on here...I will be clean shaven!!
Talk soon

Comment by Linda on January 23, 2009 at 3:13pm

This is great dialogue, the subject on doctors and research is very enlightening. I'm dropping in and out while working so excuse me please for stepping in and stepping out. I have to be honest, I don't feel super attractive every day, but when I had hair I didn't feel attractive every day so it's all relevant for me. For me, coming here and getting an ever so huge dose of encouragement and support, keeps me lifted!

Comment by Vicsta on January 23, 2009 at 1:52pm

Christie - good luck hun!

I had the same concerns - although mine came out when I had shaved it off, rather than before. I lay there thinking: I look like a man... what if he doesn't think I look feminine etc. He never thought that... it was all me and my insecurities and I got over it pretty quickly.

Comment by Mary on January 23, 2009 at 10:46am

Excellent explanation and analysis of the medical/research realities! Thanks!

Comment by Late K8 on January 23, 2009 at 10:35am

Christie,
When my hubby kisses my bald head or even just rubs it it is one of the most sensuous things he does for me. I love that feeling! Something to look forward to...

Comment by Mary on January 23, 2009 at 10:18am

Christie, go for it! My experience has been the same as Jennifer's after I shaved - being bald just got better and better. And, the shedding and obsessing about it ended immediately, and that was a huge relief. Good for you!

But, to your question about intimacy without hair: Your fears are completely normal. It is a bit personal to put online, but I don't mind telling you that my experience with my husband was that IT'S JUST FINE! The problem was all IN my head - not ON it! I got emotional a few times, worrying that I wasn't attractive like this. He didn't care, and my lack of hair didn't bother him! There may be a short period of time when you're both getting used to the "new" you. But, you will be a beautiful bald woman, and your sweetie will love you and find you sexy. You just have to believe it.

One thing we did that I think helped me accept my new self was to put photographs of me and of us together on display in the house. (We have lots of photos up of us before I lost my hair.) The profile picture of me here is the first one we put up, and the one of us together is the second one.

Comment by Linda on January 23, 2009 at 10:07am

Hi Christie, the celebration is a good idea, I had one when I first shaved my head and it was very spiritual...about being sexy, I feel so darn sexy being bald! I have brothers and a son, when we go to a sports event, I get a a bunch of whistles and/or compliments, more than when I had hair, lol! But I feel you on going to bed with your sweetie, I had my reservations, but after the first time, it was like it always has been. I think like Mary and Kate said, you become free to be who you are...and that is empowerment!
About doctors, over the past 44 years, I've seen over 8 different derms, none of which had any expertise on Alopecia, I even went to a medical research center here and nothing. They gave me the usual treatment, take blood, cortisone shots, yada, yada, yada, but no regrowth. I think Alopecia, like most women, lol, has a mind of it's own and comes and goes as it pleases!

Comment by Christie on January 23, 2009 at 7:54am

So...tonight is the night. I'm excited and anxious about shaving it. Also a little apprehensive, but I'm happy to know I won't have to deal with shedding like a cat.
I wanted to have a wig waiting for me, in the event I'm completely shocked and unhappy with the results of shaving. So, I ordered it yesterday - thanks to help of my angels on here...and it should be here by noon. Over night shipping from California to Canada...I hope it clears customs ok!!
The spots are getting bigger and bigger by the hour - sigh...I can't wait.
I hope that the wig will look real enough.
I had an emotional breakdown last night, knowing that reality is going to set in, and I'll be looking at myself with no hair. Thankfully, I have a very supportive man who makes me feel i'll be beautiful no matter what.
But what really got me - and I'm not sure if I should even be saying this on here...is...thinking about having no hair, and trying to feel sexy at "bedtime" with my sweetheart. I don't know if wearing the wig during that kind of activity will ruin it - but how do I feel sexy without it? I suppose it's just a mind set, and I will learn to feel beautiful from the inside...which is what really matters.
As strong as I have felt lately...today feels different. Is it empowerment that I feel, or am I scared?
We plan on having a "hair ceremony" ...ha ha ha...In memory of my hair. Tequila shots for everyone! I figure, I might as well have some fun with it - if you can't beat em'...join em'!
Sorry for blabbing - I'm feeling a little mixed right now.

Comment by Lori M on January 23, 2009 at 6:06am

Sorry no offense intended either about the doctor comment. In my case I have doctors as well in my immediate family. I have also been sent to Specialists for my Chron's and other things. These doctors I have been sent to literally see you for 5 minutes and have been negligent in their care. One Specialist to the point of me being hospitalized and ending up having emergency surgery to save my life.... There are some good doctors out there for sure but there are some who seriously should have their licenses taken away......

Comment by Jennifer on January 23, 2009 at 3:58am

I did the cortisone to keep my eyebrows going....super "ouch" & now have abandoned that, too. It's fine to draw them on! Performed tonight for the first time at an AIDS Benefit bald & it was an amazing experience and the cool thing is that the press that were there were so interested in why I was performing bald etc....so there will be publicity about Alopecia, as well.
Things just keep getting better & better ever since I took the plunge - I really do offer encouragement to those of you thinking about it>

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