Comment

Comment by Laurie on January 21, 2009 at 11:22am

Mary, thank you for your comment. From your photos, it looks like your loss was pretty obvious before you shaved. If I were to send you a picture of me today vs. a year ago, the only difference would be thinner, flatter hair. There are no 'obvious' bald spots other than my temples which the Dermmatch can cover for now. Honestly, people that don't know my hair is thinning will be totally shocked and wonder what I was thinking. Basically, my hair just looks like a 2 year old's - healthy, thin hair that just isn't full. I know I'm overthinking what other's will think, but I also know I'm not ready to explain this to everyone that will be curious about it as well. Like you said, I wish it was accepted for a woman to shave her head!

Comment by Mary on January 21, 2009 at 11:07am

Dear Laurie...read my last post. It's not your fault, and it's not stress!

If this were happening to a man, No ONE would insist that he go to great lengths to maintain his dwindling hair - he would just shave it off. Your friends and the rest of society that tell you you HAVE to keep the bits of hair are WRONG. You have nothing to be ashamed of, and everything to gain by taking control.

Look at my pre-shave pics. THAT'S what I looked like the day before I shaved. I sent the post-shave pic out by email to friends and family the next day. Except for my brother, everyone has been positive and supportive - strangers as well as friends.

Good luck and take care.
Mary

Comment by Laurie on January 21, 2009 at 10:58am

I am so glad to have discovered this group. I have been pondering shaving my head for quite some time. I have chronic telogen effluvium and have been shedding excessively for the past year. At first, I believed the dermatologist, the OB and the endocrinologist when they said my hair would stop shedding. They said it was from the 'hormonal shock' to my system from stopping birth control pills 3 months before this started. It sounded good and I found research to support them, so I waited. However, my hair didn't stop shedding after the normal 3-6 months. It just kept on going. To make matters worse, the doctors started tellling me it must be from stress since the 'shock' was over. So now, I'm upset that I've lost 50% of my hair density, my temples look like my husband's (nonexistent), my hairline requires Dermmatch from ear to ear and they made me feel responsible. I'm sorry, but who wouldn't be a little stressed after watching their hair fall out for a year? Those damn doctors!!! I still feel that this might end one day if my system ever rebalances (I have other symptoms of hormonal imbalance) but what I know now is that I am tired of experiencing hairloss. I have been telling my close friends and family for months that I am thinking of shaving my head. I wish I could say they understood. All of their initial reactions (including my Mom and husband) were laughter. They thought I was crazy. However, once I explained to them that they were seeing the situation through their own eyes, ones that take their hair for granted and expect it to be there tomorrow, they started to come around. My husband now fully supports the decision. He is as frustrated by this situation as I am. We both see all of the porcupine regrowth in my scalp, but we also see the 200-300 strands that come out every day. And there is nothing I can do to make it stop, except SHAVE IT OFF. My friends still don't understand. They feel that I have some obligation to keep my hair if I am able to make it look presentable. But hairloss simply doesn't fit my lifestyle. I hate the morning routine of covering my hairloss. It almost feels shameful and I want to be done with it.

So sorry for the long post, but what do you think? And for those that did shave when their loss really wasn't too apparent, what kind of reactions did you get? Thank you so much for your guidance through a difficult decision!

Comment by Mary on January 21, 2009 at 10:56am

What a wonderful group! This is what I've been looking for, too!
I took Prednisone for about a month in the Fall of 2007, after my patchy alopecia became too widespread for more cortisone shots. The dermatologist thought it might snap my immune system back to where it should be. Other than causing me to gain a few pounds (which also might have been because of over-eating due to depression), it had no effect on the hair loss. In my case, once my body decided that all the hair was going to go...it went.

For me, this is increasingly an issue of equality: It's not right for only men to have the option to be bald, comfortable, cool, and free of the time and bother wearing a wig takes. In case you all haven't seen it, I'd like to share my post on AW in response to Leslie Ann Butler's video about her book ("If Your Hair Falls Out... Keep Dancing"). This is a bit long, but I think you'll appreciate where I'm coming from. Here's what I commented:

I have deliberated about whether or not to share my feelings about this book, and I've decided to go ahead. I think we're all trying to be honest and share our feelings here. I hope no one is offended.

I appreciate the effort and talent that went into this book. I bought a copy months ago because, from the title, I thought it would be empowering to me as I struggled to come to terms with having no hair. But I was saddened and frustrated that the overwhelming message I took from the book was: If your hair falls out...cover your head at all costs and never let anyone see that you're bald. For example, page 84, on sleeping in a wig: "What if a burglar comes into your bedroom and sees you without a wig (although that is a surefire way to foil a burglary in progress)?"

Brief mention is made (page 70) of how some women feel okay showing their bald heads to the world, and how we all have our different comfort levels. The author says she completely supports those women who want to go without hair or a hat. That's fine, but other than that brief mention, the overriding point of the book is how to prevent anyone from knowing you're bald. This is not what I needed to hear. Note that I'm saying how I perceived the book - other women may have a totally different reaction to it. And, I absolutely support any woman who is more comfortable wearing a wig or hat at all times. If that's you, this book will be helpful.

But, imagine a world where you didn't HAVE to worry about a UPS man, (or anyone else), seeing you bald.

Imagine a society where when it's warm or you're exercising, you didn't HAVE to have a wig on your head, holding in your body heat. Imagine a world where each day you had a choice to wear something, or nothing, on your head.

That world, that society, does exist today - it exists for all men and a few women. That's the world I choose to live in. It will only exist for women the same way it does for men when more women try it.

I teach a very aerobic weekly dance class, and when I lost my hair, I tried wearing a wig, then a lightweight headscarf. But, I quickly found out how hot it was to have anything covering my scalp. Once I just let people see what I look like now, it wasn't a big deal. When my hair fell out, I kept dancing...cooly and comfortably bald.

(end of my comment) Your reactions?

Comment by Linda on January 21, 2009 at 10:32am

I used prednisone years ago, it's an anti-inflammatory~I think, anyway, it didn't work for me. I do know folks who say it worked for them. Alopecia is so unique to each one of us in regards to what works and what doesn't. Even autoimmune diseases that those of us with Alopecia sometimes develope or have before (existing) are different. Galena I hope prednisone works for you and by the summer you'll be reporting a full head of hair!

Comment by Linda on January 21, 2009 at 9:51am

Mary, I feel you, when you shave your head, the decision is YOURS! When I announced to my friends that I was going to shave my head, some were taken aback. I received questions like, "why would you do that", "you only have spots in the back and on the sides, wear a wig" and my all time favorite, "I like you with long hair, even if it isn't yours", LOL! But my Mother and my family were all very supportive, cheering me on, like I said in my "about me", my children and grands, celebrated my shaving by participating and thus it became a ceremony. I can say, my experience, having had Alopecia Areata at a young age, I was happy to shave and get away from being confined to a wig. Not to say that I had years of anguish, I didn't, wearing a wig or getting a weave, came as natural as putting on earrings or going to the hairdresser. Alopecia did not have a huge effect on my life, even though throughout my life I've oft times noticed a full, rich, healthy head of hair and wished I didn't have Alopecia. But no lingering thoughts, now that I'm BALD, I wish I had shaved a long time ago, my life has never been more simple, I hadn't noticed how much time and thought I put in styles of wigs and the long hours it takes to get a full head weave. I say this to say, I'm so glad this group is helping some of you to make decisions, find encouragement and motivation and give encouragement and motivation.

Comment by Galena on January 21, 2009 at 9:43am

You're so right Christie! Shaving takes back control of your life!
I have been so inspired and encouraged by the conversations here and the wonderful Sisters who impart knowledge and support. I plan to test the wigless waters this summer, although I pray to have some hair return by then. I'm currently taking a strong course of meds to slow the advance of AT/AU.
Do any Sisters have experience with prednisone? If so, did it help?

Comment by Christie on January 21, 2009 at 8:01am

Wow...what a great support group! I think this group is what i've been looking for...
Like i've mentioned in my blogs, I had finally made the decision to shave my head - although I can still pull off wearing a fabric head band...I hate the feeling of them on my head all day. I'm really a pony tail type of girl, never really cared for my hair in my face...now it's my hair all over the place. Lol...sounds like an Elvis song.
Anyways, I haven't shaved it yet because I'd like to have the security of a wig if I am super unhappy with the "shaven results". But getting a wig isn't as easy as 1,2,3. So many decisions, and so many unexperienced wig sellers!
I have the opportunity to meet a woman who has been dealing with AU since she was in her teens this Friday...she is very eager to help - I'm so over joyed with the support I'm getting.
I feel awful for the people who don't have the support they deserve and need more than ever. Perhaps my mom wouldn't be so supportive, but she too was forced to shave her head, having to rise above her breast cancer. She still doesn't recommend me shaving it...but she does understand.
I really can't wait for the day that I don't need to look on the bathroom, kitchen, bedroom, livingroom....every room, floor and see what should be sitting pretty on my head. I'd die before I let my hair loss win - If my mom can overcome breast cancer - I can certainly overcome this...Nobody will stand in my way of being in control of MY life!!!!

Comment by Kathy on January 21, 2009 at 3:11am

Hi ladies! This site is one I've become so drawn to --- and I'm so incredibly proud of being in the company of such amazing women. I can totally relate to the emotions of dealing with devastating hair loss. And agonizing over how to deal with it. I spent too many years, too many tears, too much angst over this situation. I had contemplated shaving my head for a very long time, and I was met with a great deal of discomfort and lack of understanding from those very few I shared my thoughts with. I allowed this damn hair loss "thing" to own me and quite honestly, I was tired of being so consumed with my hair issues. I'm not sure how or why but one day I knew I could no longer allow this to define who I am. I knew that I needed and wanted to move on with my life, and let go of all the embarrassment and sorrow. And you know what --- when I made that decision, it was easy to go forward with shaving my head. If anyone has a problem with my baldness, it's THEIR problem. I think that being confident in my decision was freeing and allowed me to embrace my life. Does this make any sense to all of you? I can only say that I realized that it's only hair, it's only hair. And yes, people do ask me why I don't just try to grow my hair back in. I guess THEY'D be more comfortable if I had hair. But, it's my life and my choice. And although it's only been a few months, I'm happier than I've been in years. Anyway, there's so much more I could say, but I guess more than anything I'd suggest that you, each of you who are still struggling with this decision, will know when the time is right. Believe in yourself, hold your head up high and know you're not alone. God bless you all!!

Comment by Jennifer on January 21, 2009 at 2:14am

It's interesting that this conversation is going on today of all days.
I have a pretty healthy attitude towards going bald (and respect for those of you who haven't made that leap yet!) - today was kinda tough. I really got a lot of stares and even one unkind passing comment from two bald men! LOL!
Even after going through this today, I have to concur with Mary.
When my beautiful long red hair was falling out I was hysterical, distraught, disbelieving - at times out of mind. Thank God for my mother and my husband - they were incredible. After I shaved my head, I felt powerful and, let me tell you, the hysterics stopped. I won't lie - I have days when I just feel like sitting and having a good cry - and I do. We can be strong for each other.
I really count reading everyone's experiences as giving me more and more strength daily.

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