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Comment by Mary on January 21, 2009 at 1:15am

All I can tell you is that when I looked like I do in those "pre-shave" pictures I have on my profile page, I was crying every day as I picked up more hair from the rug in front of my bathroom sink, and as I examined my head and watched the bald areas expanding. My hair loss was out of my control, and controlling my life! Once I shaved, I immediately felt better. Yes, I was in shock somewhat...but I had my life back and knew what was going to happen. I made it happen instead of waiting for it to happen TO me. This is what worked for me - I don't know if other women would have the same experience.

Comment by Mary on January 21, 2009 at 12:06am

Alexandra...it's so hard when people close to you don't get it. My only sibling, my brother, has been completely unable to deal with my baldness. He didn't want to see pictures, didn't watch my videos until I insisted, and hasn't had anything positive to say. It really does suck. Please keep us posted on how you're doing.

Comment by Alexandra on January 20, 2009 at 11:54pm

I'm so confused! A part of me wants to shave my head to stop dealing with hair loss and a part of me wants to see what hand this female pattern baldness deals me. And now I have my mom crying and my grandma making me promise them that I will not shave.
Don't they know they are just making this decision that much more difficult that it already is to begin with? Maybe because they don't actually know what it's like themselves... It sucks not having their support. My mom told me that if I shave it she's not going to be around for it.
I agree with Mary in that it's all in the attitude, however. Very true!

Comment by Mary on January 20, 2009 at 11:37pm

Yes, Sabrina...just take your time. The main thing I learned when I started going out in public bald was that it really didn't seem to matter to anyone.

I think that the attitude you project has a lot to do with it. I just hold up my head, look people in the face and smile, and try to act as if nothing is out of the ordinary. The more casual I am about it...the easier it seems to be for people to accept it. Of course, I do get questions sometimes about whether I have cancer...but, you know what? That just makes me feel happy that I am healthy!

My attitude toward other people can be summed up as "Yes, I'm bald...get over it!" I really need to get T-shirts made up with this.

Hang in there. ( :-)

Comment by Linda on January 20, 2009 at 9:08pm

Hi Sabrina, take you time...we'll be right here to support you when you're ready.
Mary I love the idea about the "sun-hat", I'm going to make myself one for the summer!

Comment by Sabrina on January 20, 2009 at 8:29pm

i don't know if I have the courage yet to actually remove the wig for all to see. I think that I am still trying to get use to wearing them...although they are a hassle to continuously do. I think that one day I will be less insecure and be more comfortable like you Mary and Linda!

Comment by Mary on January 19, 2009 at 9:41pm

You're beautiful, Linda. It's so good to not feel alone in being comfortable with my baldness!

Comment by Linda on January 19, 2009 at 9:35pm

You are all my spiritual Sisters, I identify with each and every one of you...it is good...
When I was a little girl, my brothers nicknamed me "Byrd", because I was puny and looked like a plucked chicken when my hair first fell out. I had bird legs and a bird chest, lol, no breast for me until I was 14! My daughters all have bird tatoos to identify with me, my son has the Phoenix, he says it best describes my journey. The Butterfly is a tatoo that we all aspire to get because my oldest grand daughter was named ButterFly, she only lived for 7 minutes. Her mother has the butterfly tatted on her breast, near her heart, one daughter has the butterfly tatted on her ankle and my son has it tatted close to the Phoenix...like the Phoenix is looking at the Butterfly.
Nicole, when I shaved my head, it was the first time my fiance saw my head, he loved it, it set me free!
Mary your story was moving, like so many of us, the journey has been one of courage, enlightenment and truly learning who we are!

Comment by Mary on January 19, 2009 at 7:21pm

p.s. Though I've never been a "sun" person, I also have spent time tanning my dome so that it isn't so pale, and so that it matches my face. I sit in the backyard for brief periods with a cut-out sun-hat that shields my face and eyebrows, but lets my bald head get some sun. It looks pretty silly, but it's doing the trick!

Comment by Mary on January 19, 2009 at 7:19pm

I spent a lot of time, money and emotional energy finding a wig that I liked (appearance-wise). You can see the one I ended up with on "Alternatives to Wearing a Wig" on YouTube. After all that, I stopped wearing it after only a few months, and am so happy I did. I leave the house with a scarf or cap in my purse, and put it on and take it off solely dependant on whether I'm cold or need sun protection.

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