Replies to This Discussion

Permalink Reply by Tony on July 23, 2008 at 7:06am

I believe that there needs to be balance. Everyone has doubts now and again. It’s when that doubt turns to insecurity that a person’s attractiveness suffers.

Permalink Reply by ashley on July 24, 2008 at 1:18am

GOOD POINT I AGREE 100 PERCENT...

Permalink Reply by Zanie on July 23, 2008 at 7:06pm

I would have to agree with Tony on this, it is natural to doubt ourselves from time to time it is when we stay in a continual place of doubt and insecurity when we begin to appear unattractive to others. People in general don't necessarily want to fix a person, that usually prefer them to be complete when they meet them. Confidence is Hot! even if you don't have confidence in yourself fake it till you make then eventually it will come naturally :)

Permalink Reply by Lorena on July 26, 2008 at 1:01pm

We are all jewels placed on this earth. God only made so many perfect heads that he wanted to show off, the rest he put hair on!...hee hee ...I believe that attractiveness is a state of mind. I believe I am pretty with or with out hair. I wear wigs to blend in a little. I will always be different!...

Permalink Reply by baldiegirl on July 30, 2008 at 7:45pm

Confidence makes a person attractive, however unfortunately it seems it`s not enough looks go along way

Permalink Reply by jj on August 13, 2008 at 8:08pm

I believe confidence is everything when it comes to others finding us attractive. If we exude confidence, we are telling people that we like ourselves inside and out - who wouldn't find that attractive!?

Having said that, i'm not tall, i'm not slim, and deal with those insecurities outside of the alopecia thing. For some reason, those are much more difficult to deal with than hair loss for me. Who knows. Maybe when the novelty of this new diagnosis wears off it will be just as difficult. I know that I'm still on an emotional roller coaster with settling into this. At least if i'm bald, it'll give my shy self something to talk about with potential friends and partners! I'm so bloody shy with people I don't know!!!

p.s. Lorena - LOVE your comment!

Permalink Reply by Elizabeth on August 18, 2008 at 3:18pm

Its fuuny. One night I was at Barnes and Noble with a friend of mine, and I was looking all over for her. I found her in the self help section. I looked at the book she was reading. It was a book about dating. The author suggested that we all walk around as tho we are in beautiful commited happy relationships. They said that "external" appearance of confidence was what attracted others....
I turned to her and said...I strive for that look and feeling weather I am in a relationship or not!

Permalink Reply by Buddy on October 25, 2009 at 2:33am

I firmly believe it is all about self confidence. I've met some pretty physically unattractive people who were fascinating and desirable because of their self confidence and energy. Self confidence creates an internal light which attracts everyone. When you are faced with something you honestly don't have any control over, such as AA, stare it down. YOU can't change what your body is doing to you, but you DO have total control, therefore accountability for what kind of person you are and how you approach the world. If you are a good person, a caring person, intelligent, funny, witty, then BE that person and forget that you don't have something many others do. Concentrate on what you DO have, build on those inner strengths and BE confident.

From experience, we get back from others pretty much what we present to them. It's like facing a strange dog. If you show fear, it will take advantage of that fear. If you show strength and confidence, you'll receive respect. It isn't as easy the younger you are as immaturity doesn't always respond rationally. As we age, people are less likely to make awful comments and many are more likely to ask curious questions, not necessarily intelligent ones, but more out of curiosity than mean spiritedness. Look them and the world in the eye and respond as the kind of person you want others to see you as. Give them what you wish to demand back, and you'll more often than not, receive it.

Lack of self confidence doesn't necessarily make you "unattractive", but it will most often make you stand out for the wrong reasons.