i feel all alone here acceptance is much better in the us. i have aa and ad and have been bald n single for 10 nearly 11 years now and im fed up would love to meet some uk sufferers
Emma

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Hi Emma I am from the UK, well South Africa originally! I have been living here for over two years now. Whereabouts are you? Alison
im on the south coast near portsmouth alison what about you?? mmmm south africa heat n my fav elephants lol xxxx
Hey Emma - I'm from St Helens, near Liverpool. Know what you mean with the "bald and single" thing, although it's not the same for fellas these days... it seems to be more accepted (so maybe in my case it's not the bald head that's keeping 'em away... hey, now I've scared myself!!) I never think of myself as "suffering" by being bald... actually, I really like it... f'rinstance, when I'm out on the bike I don't need to wear a helmet - I can just paint my head red. See, there's always something positive about a situation! :)
ahhh being positive i do it every day and its all a crock!! i play uncle fester (the addams family) at halloween. i have had countless facepaint designs and worn many styles of wig (everyday and fancydress ones) it all adds to my i dont care wall i put up, when actually inside im screaming WHY ME!!!!!!!!!!! granted alopecia has major advantages ie. not having to shave but i have found that the social stigma easily outweighs this. im happy for anyone who is happy with their alopecia and i soo wish i could be too x
Now that's impressive... even I can't do a good Uncle Fester (can never get the light bulb thing to work without electrocuting meself). Soooooo.... you're putting on a "front". Well, OK, I can get to that - I did it myself when I first had no hair, back in the '70's (something you've probably heard a lot about, but they were actually real). Back then, even guys didn't do "bald" - I used to get shouted at in the street, and people would slap my head, etc. Got a bit wearing and depressing.... but then I realised that most peeps just liked me as I was, no matter what, and of those I didn't know, 95% didn't actually give a toss. OK, I had trouble getting girlfriends, and that hurt, but again I realised it wasn't the baldness per se - it was cos I was different.
Doing the "why me" was ultimately fruitless - the answer to that question turned out to be "Coz it just is". Everyone has features that are different to everyone else's... everyone changes as the years pass. In our case, one of the differences/changes is that our hair went bye-byes. We're just who we are. It's no good wishing for things to go back to the way they were, cos it won't happen. Even if your hair came back, you're not the same girl you were 10 years ago. But, you're doing well to put on the brave face - Big Up to ya for that - but you need to accept and love yourself for who and what you are, and realise that you're still you no matter what you're like on the outside - and that'll change as you get older anyway.
Being OK with your own shiny head becomes easier when you have peeps around you who ignore it, and accept you as you are - yeah, and sometimes, even love you for your baldness. Maybe you're right, and finding that Someone Spesh really will be the thing that helps you to just live life without even thinking about it...
If you're ever up this way, gizza shout and we can hit the town in a show of Bald Power. You can pretend I'm your Dad and you got it off me... would it help if you had someone to blame?? :)

Later!
Norm
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norm ya made me cry (something i rarly do) i know i need to put it ina box n move on coz it aint gunna change i d try but its always there its in my face all the time shampoo adds, my mates taking hours over theirs(ok its no bad thing not having to poof preen and straighten) but it is a HUGE part of being a woman and i guess thats what gets to me more than the hairloss is not feeling 100% female a drink would be cool dad pmsl xx
Emma xx
Hey Em.... I wasn't trying to upset you. I just wanted you to maybe look at it in a way you might not have done previously. I think you've handled yourself really, really well, if you can get out there and pretend you're not bothered. But I understand how the world is making you feel less than feminine.... like you say, all the shampoo ads, the TV progs with all the (supposed) sexy girls with their l-o-n-g hair... but this is just a facade as well. It's a construct, created over years by ... well, who knows? Why is this the way that women are supposed to strive to be? It's just a few peeps' opinions, when you step back and think about it.
The thing is, you actually ARE feminine and a whole woman. Those girls in the ads... your friends... all of them, every single one, also feels less than perfect. They all wish that something about themselves was different. In fact, I reckon that goes for just about everyone on the planet - why do you suppose that is? Think it might be some deep insecurity that's an innate feature of humans?

You don't need hair to knock the fellas dead (altho' that's probably not a good thing to do, if you actually wanna date any :) ) - there are more guys out there who don't care about your lack of hair or even LIKE it than you think. You can still be sexy and drop-dead gorgeous... you just need to make a feature out of the things you've got. How many of your pals do the thing with their boobs and/or legs? Same thing for you, except you've got something they haven't - even more sexy skin to display and drive the guys wild... yeah, you just need someone to tell you you're cool, and keep reminding you on a regular basis :)

Anyway, that drink - you're buying the 1st round (and maybe the 2nd too, if you fall for the old "I-left-my-wallet-at-home" routine). :) And no arguing with yer Dad, OK?????

The Norm XX
hey daddy norm
You didnt upset me as such it was just another way of thinking for me i guess,and i must admit i do do the boob thing (well lets face it i do have BIG ones it does seem to draw attention, however briefly, away from my shiny noodle lol.) and your right everyone has something they are not happy with but hey you have made me feel a bit better about myself and i now look forward to meeting one of these guys(hopefully on sat night when im getting a rare break from my lil one) oh i best go shave my................ oh,silly me dont have anything to shave hehehe at least i have that advantage over my mates lol.
damn ya beat me too the old wallet at home thing lol
Em xx
Well, gee, thanks for that, Em... now I've got this persistent image of a sexy bald gal with prominent whopping wotsits winking my way. Gnnnn.... !!! How am I supposed to concentrate on the new Doctor Who now, with those three whirling around my head???? :) Congrats... you've just made a happy man very old. *sigh*
Now I just hope I can live long enuff to do that drinkie thing...!!
N xxxx
lol daddy norm you made me laugh. how was the dr??
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Ooooo Em, good pic..... when did you borrow my goggles??? Lovely shot of the little 'un too :)

Anyway, the Doc. I'm sure I vaguely remember something about him... yeah, he was bald with big boobies. No, no, that was the image of you that got stuck in my head.... and now you've confirmed it.... still, not a bad thing to carry around, is it? So Ta! :)

How didja get on with the Saturday night scene.... did you manage to corner any handsome hunks? and if not ,why not?? C'mon, fess up!

Can't help but notice, tho': there only seems to be me, you and Alison from the UK in this discussion - d'ya think everyone else just prefers to spectate upon this increasingly-bizarre discussion (wherever it's going)?? If so.... tune in next week, etc. (tee-hee!)

Later, Mater!
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

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