Replies to This Discussion

Permalink Reply by Linda on March 22, 2011 at 3:36pm

Hello, I am 52 years old, I was married 27 years, been divorced for 5 years. I have had alopecia Universalis for two years now. I do not have a single hair on my whole body... I ALWAYS wear a wig. I would never go out in public without one, most people do not know I am wearing a wig. I have just re-entered the dating world and I am doing an online dating site. My experience with telling men has not been too good.I ususally do not tell them until the third date or when there is a mutual interested.The three men I have told where very polite and said they understood, but I feel they were just being nice.... Because we were going out about twice a week, now I don't hear from them.I told one guy on the first date because I DIDN'T like him and I thought that would make him run, he didn't.... but I had no interest in seeing him again. I am a nice person, with a smlie that lights up the room, and when I dated three years ago, before my hairloss, I had no problems getting dates. I think dating puts ourselves out there for rejection hair or no hair, but when someone likes me then rejects me due to no hair, that hurts. I know some of you will say, I shouldn't be with someone that cares about my hair, but I really do believe there is not a decent, NORMAL man out there that will date a women with no hair, given a choice they can go out with someone with hair... I think when someone is in your life before your hair loss, they will stay. I have many, many friends, of which I am grateful. I know they love me with or without hair,BUT meeting and dating someone new, that can choose me or a women with hair, I believe they would go with the women with hair. Hair is a very sexy feature about a women, I think men in my age group, what it all.... and that includes a women with hair.....

Permalink Reply by Fotini Constantina Spero on March 27, 2011 at 9:42pm

I have to agree with Maximilian on that one. By saying you told someone on the first date that you have no hair to get him to leave you alone means that YOU feel you don't deserve to be loved without hair. The first time I told a guy I was dating about my alopecia was only about 2 1/2 years ago, then I was still in a transition period, I didn't think he would stick around if he knew. I waited until he told me he loved me! Maybe I shouldn't have waited but I told him right then and there about my hair and he said, "I love you, not your hair." We did not end up together but now I don't wear a hairpiece, only scarves and I have had a relationship and he actively chose to be with me, knowing from the start. It is THE scariest thing, having to tell that secret especially when you have already gotten hurt, but there are good guys out there, they are just hard to find! I don't know if that has anything to do with hair though! ;-)

Permalink Reply by Molly on January 15, 2012 at 2:52pm

I know about feeling insecure because hair is so tied up with a woman's sexiness but I have plenty of men that are interested in me and don't really see the fact that I'm bald and never wear wigs as a turn off. I do think though that I end up dating people that are probably not as good looking or as happening as I could if I had hair but sometimes they are good guys and if I'm asking them to not be shallow about me being bald I won't be shallow about them being say short or chubby

Permalink Reply by ken totman on March 27, 2011 at 11:39pm

Hi. My name is Ken, I'm 47, and I'm an alopecian. (I can just hear every one saying "Hi Ken" back)
I've never dated a hairless woman, but I have dated a feminist/activist who refused to comply with the repressive societal custom of shaving her legs and armpits. I didn't mind. Maybe, in some twisted way, it was like a role reversal thing. I would have backed off if she had had a hairy chest, though. Sorry if that makes me shallow.
I did, however, date a woman for about a year when I was living in L.A. That was during the first period in my life when I was shaving my head to hide the AA. She loved it. But I couldn't stand living in L.A. anymore so I moved away (one of the bigger mistakes I've made in my life). We did the long distance relationship thing for quite a while, though, during which time my hair began growing back almost completely. So I let it grow. Meanwhile we made plans to get together for for the hollidays. When I picked her up at the airport she took one look at me and said, "No! Shave it off!" I refused and she kind of got used to it, but unfortunately our relationship didn't last long after that. Long distance doesn't work.
I think it would be kind of cool and sexy to date a hairless woman. There are a lot of absolutely beautiful women on this site who couldn't possibly be any prettier with hair.

Permalink Reply by Molly on January 15, 2012 at 2:57pm

Probably because I'm a little rough around the edges I'll say it... lots of guys hear that I don't have any hair on my body get a far away look in their eyes and smile..kinda know whats going through their mind and they seem to like it

Permalink Reply by Susan on March 4, 2012 at 4:52am

I've been told that it is weird. How insensitive is that?