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My aunty told me lastnight that because im bald if she didnt know me she would think im a lesbian,aarrrrggghhh that made me so mad and re evaluate if i like alopecia or not.anyone been told this?
My aunty told me lastnight that because im bald if she didnt know me she would think im a lesbian,aarrrrggghhh that made me so mad and re evaluate if i like alopecia or not.anyone been told this?
Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by Buddy on
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It isn't so much whether you LIKE Alopecia or not, we live with it, period. I am so sorry your Aunt felt she had the authority, the RIGHT to say something so thoughtless to you. Has she said or done things like this before to indicate she lacks the proper filters necessary not to say such thoughtless, unkind things? You do not deserve that kind of comment. My mother always taught us if we didn't have anything nice to say, shut up. It's unfortunate the world seems filled with folks who seem to feel entitled to say whatever the devil they wish, regardless whether it is any of their business or not.
I can feel for you. I was the recipient of an unkind, thoughtless remark about my weight as a kid of seven. I still remember it and it has colored my self image for nearly fifty years. I am aware of it, I deal with it, I haven't been able to overcome it. I know it wasn't meant hatefully, but it struck through my heart as if it was poisoned. Personally, I would make a point the next time I saw that Aunt to ask her if she was aware of how what she said affected you. You obviously love her and I want to believe she loves you. Perhaps, if she understood how her thoughtless remarks affect you, she would think before making them. There may, or may not be idiots out there who would think such things. If there are, that is THEIR problem. If you ran around with a shaved head, obviously able to have hair, perhaps someone would think those things. Not being able to have hair looks very different than deciding not to wear hair and anyone with any observational skills will know the difference. Most of us, unless aware of the condition, probably are initially attracted simply because it is out of the ordinary, but once observed and processed, move on to the next thing to attract their attention. Anyone who would put that kind of illogical, idiotic energy toward the thought your Aunt expressed, isn't worth worrying about. I pray you can get through to her you love her and wish she wouldn't make such DUMB remarks. It is HER problem, not yours. Feel better. You have enough on your plate without such stupid remarks. -
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Permalink Reply by Hilary on
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thanx buddy
yeah my aunty feels so bad she said and yeah she does love me to bits! it was the dumbest thing ever to say i know! -
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Permalink Reply by Emma Sandell on
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i have been completely bald head to toe now for 11 years and have had nothing but comments like "can only tell its female because of the boobs" "dyke" and most peoples fav " are you ok now, how long have you had cancer?" im soo sick of it i love not having to shave i love alopecia from the neck down but as for my head i wish i had it back. i cannot wear wigs they are hot, itchy and more importantly they are not me i feel such a fraud with one on. i know how comments like that hurt!
Emma
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Permalink Reply by Molly on
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I hate wigs too they always make me feel like I'm pretending to be someone I'm not
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Permalink Reply by Virginia on
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I agree with you 100% I tried wigs and I always felt like I was betraying myself.
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Permalink Reply by Ktownnana on
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That is so sad that your aunt said that to you. I have 2 beautiful grown daughters, 3 adorable grandchildren, and was married to my husband for 42 years before he passed away. I am now in a relationship with a wonderful guy who knows that I suffer from hair loss and that I do always wear a wig, but there is no way I would ever let him see me without my wig because I would wonder if he would think the same thing. It's horrible.
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Permalink Reply by Ally Fiedel on
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People have said the same to me. It is really upsetting for me.
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Permalink Reply by Norm on
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Well, I've never been called a lesbian (wonder why?) - but I do have a couple of lesbian pals, and I told 'em that I've sometimes thought I could be a lesbian trapped in a man's body.
Yeah.... they took a while to get it, too.... :)
But Hilary, all this kind of thing from your Aunt proves is how people think "inside the box" all the time. Everyone thinks they know how the world works.... everyone feels safe with their preconceptions, and there can't possibly be anything NEW out there left to learn or see, can there? - such as those strange tribes who go about practically naked and paint their bodies. How uncivilized, how horrible.... they're obviously not as sophisticated or intelligent as us, are they? And then, upon closer examination, you find out just how much they can teach us.....
For your Aunt, it seems the same thing applies to bald females - how can they be anything like what she considers "normal"?
Methinks she needs something major to come along and shake up her world.... show her how fragile things really are, and how narrow her world view is. It'll happen....she'll learn what's important and what's not, and re-prioritize her life. Just hope it doesn't happen too late for her to enjoy the richness and diversity of people everywhere - including you! -
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Permalink Reply by Sarah Eisenhardt on
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Norm = Laugh thanks for it.. I always need a good laugh
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Permalink Reply by Colleen on
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Hi Hilary... Funny, I've actually just assumed that people think this about me without anyone saying it. I just decided - who cares if someone who doesn't know me thinks i'm a lesbian -- really, who cares? If they don't know me, and I don't know them then what they think about me is none of my business and certainly has know bearing on who I know I am. And regarding your aunt, sometimes people say stupid things because they are uncomfortable or afraid or some other uncomfortable feeling. I'm sure it wasn't meant to be mean.
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