So much pain
So much tears
even after 4 days
im still in shock.
Why him? Why now?
I remember his bright huge smile
Those big warm teddy hugs
That big old laugh.
I hope your looking over me
as I write this poem
As I type.
I hope your healthy now.
I hope your safe & warm now.
Wait for us , you hear?
I love you.
I love you uncle Terrall.
Rest In Peace.

Im not sorry for being weird.

Im not sorry for being shy & quiet.

Im not sorry for being werid & real & weird

Im not sorry that I hate parties.

Im not sorry that I like

to stay in on a Friday night

and hangout with my family.

Im not sorry for not answering

your "personal questions

Im not sorry for being bullied

because it makes me stronger

day by day.

Im not sorry for having Alopecia

because it makes me different…

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I dont cry as much.

But I still cry.

I dont worry as much.

But I still worry.

I dont use a fake smile as much.

But I still use a fake smile.

I still get hammered though.

And its still hard waking up every morning

Knowing that someone somewhere is going to

stare,talk,laugh because they

know half of my story.

I laugh with my friends

at my new school now.

I used to be afraid to laugh

at that school.

This woon in my…

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I'm doing a good job.

I'm crying in bed

Like you want me to

I'm raining on myself

Wasting water

Wasting strength

Hit me with those words again

So I can repeat the process over.

Laugh that laugh

While your at it, lend me a tissue

Talk that talk

While your at it

Look down on me

Ill be looking up at God

Wondering what I did to dereseve

something you'll never understand.

Its me and you agaiant the world.

Good vs… Continue

Turn on the light.

Turn off the light.

You have control.

Make my sky

fade into yellow

then into black.

Make my smile

invisible like the air.

You have control.

Yes, killer you

have control.

You control my feelings.

My smiles.

My laughs.

My everything.

I want to be strong.

Strong as a hammer.

Shut you out but...

One day you'll lose control

and my feelings won't be

a game anymore.

One day I…

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