I have had Alopecia Areata since I was four years old and have done everything I can think of to hide it from others. I would often times style my hair put on so much hair spray to keep in place.. making sure that no one can see my spots. It worked when I was younger but as I got older the spots got bigger and were not growing anything. I got my first wig when I was 15 and it was really hard to except, but once again I did everything I could to ensure my secret was kept. Only family and close friends knew. I wore it for a little over year and grew enough hair that I did not need it, but that was a short phase. A year ago (at the age of 20) I had to start wearing a wig again, and I did everything to prevent that and try to grow hair (injections, creams, sprays etc..) Nothing work enough.

So I was to face a hard reality that I was going to get married in a wig. Even though everything worked out, I looked great and no one knew grasping the fact that on one of the most important days of my life I still could not look at myself and be 100% happy. I have always struggled with being open about and telling people who I view as friends. I have many friends who have know idea...and I struggle with being ready to tell them. I know once people find out they look at you differently, even if they don't mean to. My lack of confidence is preventing me from taking that step but I really want to. I know if I tell them I would feel a release, I would feel more comfortable and more myself, but the fears of what they may think and the way they may look at me scares me. I have been very lucky to be blessed with a very supportive family, and to meet a man who does not suffer from Alopecia ( in fact he never heard of it till he met me....which is the general public) but who is fully supportive, understanding, and patient. Regardless of my support system I still cannot cross that threshold of fully embracing, being proud, finally fully excepting this is who I am... and no matter how much hair ( or lack there of) it does not define me.

How can I take the final step and just let go of all hesitations and to know I'm more than hair...no matter what society says.