Comment by Alexandra on October 12, 2008 at 1:05am

Sure, that's fine with me, Bogie! I can understand why you'd want to know that.

Comment by rj, Co-founder on October 12, 2008 at 5:22am

How do you feel about bald women?

I feel that bald women, like all women (and men), are human beings with innate and interminable worth and worthiness because they are made in the likeness of God.

If your girlfriend or wife was thinning, would you encourage her to shave her hair off if it to preserve her mental health or leave it and let nature run its course, or would you try to encourage her to find a solution?

My "girlfriend" is indeed alopecic and adorable, and I encourage her to do whatever she wants with her short, patchy hair. I was the same way years ago when I dated another woman who experienced hair loss as a result of chemotherapy. The only "solution" I would urge anyone struggling with their looks and self-image to find is self-love. As I wrote here, for example, "It's such an ugly thing that's done with beauty in our world that the only way a person can consistently maintain their self-confidence and self-respect is through unyielding self-acceptance." In this light, I view "treatment" for alopecia as optional as different styles of clothing.

What do you love most about a woman (or YOUR woman, especially if she has some form of alopecia)?

The thing I love most about my alopecic and adorable fiancee isn't that she's bald and beautiful, but that she makes bald look so beautiful. In other words, she's altogether lovely to me because she's so well put together as a person. The same would be true if she had a head full of hair because I've learned that beauty that is only skin-deep is mere fool's gold.

Do you think bald women can be as beautiful as women who have their own hair?

Of course! However, the real key to their comeliness is their character.

What draws you to a woman, and even more importantly, what keeps you with her?

Romantic love properly (and probably inevitably) commences with physical attraction, but while what I perceive to be pulchritude may capture my eye, it's really a woman's profundity that captures my heart. Again, see this list of the top 10 reason's my woman's alopecia and baldness are non-issues for me.

If your woman was bald, would you prefer it if she shows it off, wears a scarf, wears a wig, or have her do whatever makes her happy?

Do whatever she wants because, if she's happy, I'm happy. :-)

What are your sincere feelings about women with alopecia?

See my answer to your first question.

I'm new to this and I am still pretty unsure of how the male population will react if I am bald one day. I know that not all men react the same, but I'd like to know the feelings of the men on this website.

Men who don't men should be the only men who matter. As I've always said to my three daughters, if a man isn't physically attracted to you, you know one thing for sure: He's not the man for you. But, of course, the greatest romantic tradegy of human history is that most people tend to obsess over such forbidden fruit.

There are no right or wrong answers, by the way! Even if your answers may hurt, I need to hear the truth, so bring it on!

I hope my answers are encouraging as well as enlightening.

And please, do answer. Experiencing hair loss has been one of the most difficult things I've gone through in life. I'm sure it will only make me a stronger woman (I've already gained strength since it first began), but I would really like to hear the truth.

Alexandra, this is wise and wonderful perspective to have on your experience of hair loss. I certainly wish you nothing save the best in life and love. :-)

rj, age 40, bald by choice (not a sympathy shaver!)

Comment by BTB (John) on October 12, 2008 at 6:00am

John 58 thinning I have been with my partner (who has universalis) since we were 18 so there was no hard decision to make it was hers alone to decide as to how she handle her alopecia if I was asked my opinion or choice I gave it but the decision was hers. I hope during this period that I was supportive and caring Pat says I have been but at times I felt lost and useless to be of any support at all. Pat has never ceased to be beautiful and sensual I have never felt any loss of affection or desire due to alopecia . What draws me to her is what always has it is who she is, and whatever she decides to wear or not wear is fine by and no matter what the cost of a good wig she deserves to have the best she can find. I do nor know about other women it has been to long but I can say that the profile pics on here are quite stunning. If you care for someone I can in my case it does not matter and I consider myself a pretty shallow person and it surprised to be feel the way I do. John

Comment by as on October 12, 2008 at 6:04am

Alexandra
excuse me please.I don't know well English.Say only so many .iAMrj answered in same way like feel I.Thank him behind it. Perhaps me do you understand.
as

Comment by jamie1 on October 12, 2008 at 6:20pm

Hi Alexandra, Being alopecian myself, there is no way I could answer your questions with any degree of objectivity. Also, my life experiences with hairloss have been rather unique. My late wife lost her beautiful hair for a number of years because of chemo. One of my lovely young nieces went bald due to chemo with breast cancer. My wife and niece were both very beautiful with or without hair. I encouraged them to manage this change in any way that made them feel comfortable and happy. My brother in law and a nephew shave their heads in an effort to manage male pattern baldness. Due I find any of these people less attractive because of their hairloss? Certainly not! Am I less attractive because I have alopecia areata. If I don't shave my head, I do think I look a bit odd. Totally bald, well, I'm acceptable, I quess. It is who I am.

So, let me turn this question around. I know the dynamics between male and female hairloss are different, but how would you react if the beautiful man of your dreams suddenly all all his hair? Would he now be find him ugly and a social embarrassment? How would you encourage him in the management of his hairloss? Rug? No rug? Shave or not to shave? Would you feel protective of him if others poked fun? (which often happens). Or would you just love him with all your heart and find him ever so handsome? I certainly understand your need for opinions from the opposite sex. However, I think many of the answers your seek can be found within your own heart. Regards, jamie

Comment by jamie1 on October 12, 2008 at 6:30pm

Ooops! That one line should read, "Would you now find him ugly and a social embarrassment?" My proofreading suffers because I get a bit emotional on this topic. Sorry, Jamie

Comment by terrence on October 12, 2008 at 9:05pm

i personally feel a woman can be quite sexxy bald, if she wears it with confidence. accepting one's self first is the key to having others appreciate your look and style.when i see a woman with no hair, i first think stength, then uniqueness... both very attractive traits. i almost never think illness or alopecia first(living in the new york area, bald women have been a fashion statement since i was a kid) everybody may not get it, but the right people will...and since most of us are looking for only that special someone anyway... it just makes it easier to seperate the men from the boys, right?? if my woman was bald, i'd encourage her to show it... but i understand it is harder for a bald woman than a bald man. if she chose to wear a wig or scarf in public or for work, i'd almost insist she be natural once she came home to me

Comment by rj, Co-founder on October 13, 2008 at 1:43am

Matters of the heart and opinions about beauty are never objective or unbiased.

Comment by Leon Johnson on October 13, 2008 at 10:07am

1. How do you feel about bald women?

I feel that bald women are beautiful and maybe more than a lot of women. I believe the boldness to allow herself to be bald is not only bold but very sexy, and beautiful. Confidence will always add much dept and weight to a personality.

2. If your girlfriend or wife was thinning, would you encourage her to shave her hair off if it to preserve her mental health or leave it and let nature run its course, or would you try to encourage her to find a solution?

If I was in a relationship I'd encourage her to do what she thinks is best. I'd want her to make her own decison to find a style that fits her. I wouldn't want her to be a slave to her new self. I'd want her to feel like she's beautiful and secure around me.


3. What do you love most about a woman (or YOUR woman, especially if she has some form of alopecia)?

As I've said before I love the confidence that a woman has. It usually comes in her walk, talk and the way she dresses. Any woman that is doing her best to walk in the original her has my vote.

4. What draws you to a woman, and even more importantly, what keeps you with her?

I'm drawn to a woman's passion. Her style and willingness to not be too serious are great attributes. If I was in a relationship her honesty would keep me with her. I'd like to think that for the amount of time I'm in a relationship (Lord willin') I'm goin' toward a marriage. She needs to be secure about understanding what she needs out of a relationship instead jumpin' in and not knowing. My old sayin' is "Don't go to the grocery store hungry". I say that to mean that I believe people get in relationships hungry for other things which at times relationships aren't built for.





5. Do you think bald women can be as beautiful as women who have their own hair?

As I've said before, yes I believe a bald woman can be and is beautiful as a woman who has her own hair.

6. If your woman was bald, would you prefer it if she shows it off, wears a scarf, wears a wig, or have her do whatever makes her happy?

Personally I'd like her to show it off. Now since I'm a artist I believe she could switch it up and do some funky stuff.

7. What are your sincere feelings about women with alopecia?

I'm pretty much am on a woman's side with alopecia and not just because I have it. I've grown up and seen a lot of emphasis put on her in the main stream. Hair use to be a big thing for us men and for some it is. Thanks to celebrities such as Michael Jordan, Common and Samuel Jackson I believe we're a little free. Women now need the same thing to happen for them.

Sisters, just know you are not alone and I love with or without hair.

Alexandra,

If you're a praying woman I'd encourage you to do so and ask the God to help you be see the good beauty inside yourself. Once you find it hopefully you'll share it and give us all a look.

God bless.

Comment by Tony on October 13, 2008 at 11:15am

Alexandra,

47, a fellow alopecian with a shaved head & single …please read the last part as no romantic interest in my life right now so my opinion is predicated on past / future rather than the present. Lots of questions…I’ll do my best to provide some honest insight. In a nut shell, if my wife or girlfriend had alopecia or hair loss for whatever reason, my role would be to support her, to be a sounding board as need be and a source of comfort rather than anxiety knowing that the decisions are hers to make. I’ll be at her side regardless as I’ve learned that the cornerstone of any good relationship transcends aesthetics.

Do you think bald women can be as beautiful as women who have their own hair?

Even more so…not in a fetish sort of way either. All that glitters is not gold…superficial appearance can never hold a candle to what really matters. The women with alopecia I have met are remarkable. Their sense of self, of how much more there is to life is incredible. Personally, alopecia has helped me see that it is the elements beyond the façade that truly define a person, male or female.

Comment

• ‹ Previous
• 1
• 2
• Next ›
• Page