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Comment by Jim Escher on March 4, 2009 at 9:06pm

Dear Alexandra;

I am a man who has experienced a relatively mild from of alopecia areata. It happened ten years or so ago. A substantial amount of hair fell out from the upper back of my scalp. Somebody pointed it out to me. I looked like a man who was going bald at the back of his head. The area was the typical super smooth scalp. I got cortisone shots and the hair grew back. So, I have some idea of what it's like to start to go bald. while the hair grew back i struggled to cover the area with other hair but it never worked. I was bald there and there was nothing i could do about it while I waited for the hair to grow back.

Your question is whether we men will find you beauiful and desirable if and when you lose not only all your scalp hair, alopecia totalis bt God forbid youy develop alopecia universalis. My response is that I happen to love the look of a woman who has absolutely no hair, The fact is that I love her with a completely smooth scalp. But I love her with alopecia universalis, a completely bald scalp, no eyebrows, or eyelashes and no body hair. And, there are many men who also find this look very beautiful and appealing.

Look at the blog for "Laura". she has universalis. She never wears a wig, never draws on eyebrows or attaches false lashes. She is ssmooth from head to toe. She is also absolutely gorgeous, I mean absolutely.

The thing of it is that you will want a man to see you as more than your lack of hair, your smooth scalp and hairless body. Baldness in a woman is a very desirable characteristic but it is just that, a chacteristic. You must demand to have your baldness rolled into a loving relationship where the baldness is akin to the thing that first gets the man's attention in the same way as the beautiful thick long hair of non-alopecian women may be a hook for a man to first approach a woman.

I love bald women. I think they far exceed in beauty and sexiness any woman who has hair. It is an exotic look plus there are historical precedents for this female appearance.

In ancient Egypt, many women actually had all their scalp hair plucked out with golden tweezers until their scalps were as clean as an egg of any hair. Because al their hair was plucked ot there was no shadow on their scalps in the same way that there is no shadow on the scalps of alopecian women. After these women were plucked bald they had their smooth scalps buffed to a glossy shine. It seems in those days it was the women who had long thick hair who were considered the oddity while the proudly bald females were considered to be the desirable ones. Alopeicans women should consider themselves to be the true diesirable ones and the poor females with all that long thick hair to be lacking in exxential sex appeal. That is why more and more women with full heads of hair are now choosing to go bald.

Comment by Herne Steelegrave on October 14, 2008 at 12:06am

Greetings and salutations Alexandra...

I shall answer these questions even though I feel that they create a "lab rat" environment by classification for something I do not see....

1. "How do you feel about bald women? If your girlfriend or wife was thinning, would you encourage her to shave her hair off if it to preserve her mental health or leave it and let nature run its course, or would you try to encourage her to find a solution?"

My wife has universalis and does not wear a wig. I love her the way she is and have always felt that way. I see deeper then her hairline, or lack of, so it is difficult to bring this into the equation...

2. What do you love most about a woman (or YOUR woman, especially if she has some form of alopecia)?

On a personal level, it is an erotic factor that has a purity to it. In detail, you shall never know.....

3. Do you think bald women can be as beautiful as women who have their own hair?

Can they be is never an issue...each person lives in a reality that consists of likes and dislikes and the landscape is as individual as a fingerprint with each person making a choice based on personal taste. This has nothing whatsoever to do with what she looks like.

4. What draws you to a woman, and even more importantly, what keeps you with her? If your woman was bald, would you prefer it if she shows it off, wears a scarf, wears a wig, or have her do whatever makes her happy? What are your sincere feelings about women with alopecia?

My wife is perfect in every way... She wears no wig nor scarf and has a lovely tattoo on her head. She catches my breath and races my heart when I look at her. If anyone does not agree, I shall hope they do not voice their remark in any way or they shall soon realize how dangerous life has suddenly become...

Blessings,

Herne

Comment by Val on October 13, 2008 at 5:17pm

Hi Alexandra

Everyone is different, I have only been with my guy for 3 and a half years and I was terrified that he would up sticks and run off, but to my delight his reaction to my AA was that (as others have said on here) he loves me! not my hair and the cheeky bugger (Excuse the language) said that when I have my wig on it looks better than my own hair did anyway.
If somebody loves you, they love you for the person you are NOT the person they think you should be. In my opinion a man who leaves a woman because she loses her hair is as bad as a man who leaves a woman because she has put on a little weight. They must be so shallow they are not worth holding on to.

I also asked these questions but only in my head. Its great to know that there are so many men that realise that looks/hair is not the be all and end all to a person. Maybe they are not all from Mars after all.

Val :o)

Comment by Tony on October 13, 2008 at 11:15am

Alexandra,

47, a fellow alopecian with a shaved head & single …please read the last part as no romantic interest in my life right now so my opinion is predicated on past / future rather than the present. Lots of questions…I’ll do my best to provide some honest insight. In a nut shell, if my wife or girlfriend had alopecia or hair loss for whatever reason, my role would be to support her, to be a sounding board as need be and a source of comfort rather than anxiety knowing that the decisions are hers to make. I’ll be at her side regardless as I’ve learned that the cornerstone of any good relationship transcends aesthetics.

Do you think bald women can be as beautiful as women who have their own hair?

Even more so…not in a fetish sort of way either. All that glitters is not gold…superficial appearance can never hold a candle to what really matters. The women with alopecia I have met are remarkable. Their sense of self, of how much more there is to life is incredible. Personally, alopecia has helped me see that it is the elements beyond the façade that truly define a person, male or female.

Comment by Leon Johnson on October 13, 2008 at 10:07am

1. How do you feel about bald women?

I feel that bald women are beautiful and maybe more than a lot of women. I believe the boldness to allow herself to be bald is not only bold but very sexy, and beautiful. Confidence will always add much dept and weight to a personality.

2. If your girlfriend or wife was thinning, would you encourage her to shave her hair off if it to preserve her mental health or leave it and let nature run its course, or would you try to encourage her to find a solution?

If I was in a relationship I'd encourage her to do what she thinks is best. I'd want her to make her own decison to find a style that fits her. I wouldn't want her to be a slave to her new self. I'd want her to feel like she's beautiful and secure around me.


3. What do you love most about a woman (or YOUR woman, especially if she has some form of alopecia)?

As I've said before I love the confidence that a woman has. It usually comes in her walk, talk and the way she dresses. Any woman that is doing her best to walk in the original her has my vote.

4. What draws you to a woman, and even more importantly, what keeps you with her?

I'm drawn to a woman's passion. Her style and willingness to not be too serious are great attributes. If I was in a relationship her honesty would keep me with her. I'd like to think that for the amount of time I'm in a relationship (Lord willin') I'm goin' toward a marriage. She needs to be secure about understanding what she needs out of a relationship instead jumpin' in and not knowing. My old sayin' is "Don't go to the grocery store hungry". I say that to mean that I believe people get in relationships hungry for other things which at times relationships aren't built for.





5. Do you think bald women can be as beautiful as women who have their own hair?

As I've said before, yes I believe a bald woman can be and is beautiful as a woman who has her own hair.

6. If your woman was bald, would you prefer it if she shows it off, wears a scarf, wears a wig, or have her do whatever makes her happy?

Personally I'd like her to show it off. Now since I'm a artist I believe she could switch it up and do some funky stuff.

7. What are your sincere feelings about women with alopecia?

I'm pretty much am on a woman's side with alopecia and not just because I have it. I've grown up and seen a lot of emphasis put on her in the main stream. Hair use to be a big thing for us men and for some it is. Thanks to celebrities such as Michael Jordan, Common and Samuel Jackson I believe we're a little free. Women now need the same thing to happen for them.

Sisters, just know you are not alone and I love with or without hair.

Alexandra,

If you're a praying woman I'd encourage you to do so and ask the God to help you be see the good beauty inside yourself. Once you find it hopefully you'll share it and give us all a look.

God bless.

Comment by rj, Co-founder on October 13, 2008 at 1:43am

Matters of the heart and opinions about beauty are never objective or unbiased.

Comment by terrence on October 12, 2008 at 9:05pm

i personally feel a woman can be quite sexxy bald, if she wears it with confidence. accepting one's self first is the key to having others appreciate your look and style.when i see a woman with no hair, i first think stength, then uniqueness... both very attractive traits. i almost never think illness or alopecia first(living in the new york area, bald women have been a fashion statement since i was a kid) everybody may not get it, but the right people will...and since most of us are looking for only that special someone anyway... it just makes it easier to seperate the men from the boys, right?? if my woman was bald, i'd encourage her to show it... but i understand it is harder for a bald woman than a bald man. if she chose to wear a wig or scarf in public or for work, i'd almost insist she be natural once she came home to me

Comment by jamie1 on October 12, 2008 at 6:30pm

Ooops! That one line should read, "Would you now find him ugly and a social embarrassment?" My proofreading suffers because I get a bit emotional on this topic. Sorry, Jamie

Comment by jamie1 on October 12, 2008 at 6:20pm

Hi Alexandra, Being alopecian myself, there is no way I could answer your questions with any degree of objectivity. Also, my life experiences with hairloss have been rather unique. My late wife lost her beautiful hair for a number of years because of chemo. One of my lovely young nieces went bald due to chemo with breast cancer. My wife and niece were both very beautiful with or without hair. I encouraged them to manage this change in any way that made them feel comfortable and happy. My brother in law and a nephew shave their heads in an effort to manage male pattern baldness. Due I find any of these people less attractive because of their hairloss? Certainly not! Am I less attractive because I have alopecia areata. If I don't shave my head, I do think I look a bit odd. Totally bald, well, I'm acceptable, I quess. It is who I am.

So, let me turn this question around. I know the dynamics between male and female hairloss are different, but how would you react if the beautiful man of your dreams suddenly all all his hair? Would he now be find him ugly and a social embarrassment? How would you encourage him in the management of his hairloss? Rug? No rug? Shave or not to shave? Would you feel protective of him if others poked fun? (which often happens). Or would you just love him with all your heart and find him ever so handsome? I certainly understand your need for opinions from the opposite sex. However, I think many of the answers your seek can be found within your own heart. Regards, jamie

Comment by as on October 12, 2008 at 6:04am

Alexandra
excuse me please.I don't know well English.Say only so many .iAMrj answered in same way like feel I.Thank him behind it. Perhaps me do you understand.
as

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