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alopecia and me
so i'm 23 now about to turn 24 in november. i was 12 when i lost my eyebrows, i didnt really think anything of it since i have fair hair and skin it wasnt that noticable. at 14 i got my first patch, small. i went to a dermatologist but i already knew i had alopecia before he said a word. he said i should go on cortisone, 3 months later was almost bald with only hair at the top and bottom of my head.
i shaved my head after getting my first wig, i think it was one of the most freeing thing i have done. i remember every second of it. i fell into deep depression at 15 more like dived into it. i didnt come up for air until i was 18 or 19. its a blur that time. such self loathing and the days and nights just went on forever. i regret it but i know i needed it to become who i am.
i had to change the way i treated myself, talked to myself, looked at myself in the mirror. It made such a difference waking up from that bed dream.
socialising was a huge thing for me, i feel i missed my teens sometimes although i was still a little wild in my late teens. i met my husband when i was 20 he brings out such a independant ambition in me that i never thought i would have and allows me to forfill and pursue all my dreams and goals. he knows me, my bald head more than the wigged me. when i get a new wig he looks surprised at the different me, says u look good just different, then he gets use to it.
i speak about alopecia when it comes up or others are talking about ailments, my close friends and i talk about it often, joke about stuff, i can be me.
i recently went to an immunologist as i have alopecia related anti ana and wanted to know more about alopecia and i had a few body hairs come back and they have almost all gone again. i had moreblood tests and got diognosed with lupus, just mild and emerging. i was scared that i would fall back into the depression but i have tried to speak about it and think about other things. it has helped.
i think the biggest thing coming out of alopecia is unmaterialistic love, joy, pleasure. i appreciate people not looks but energy, acts and charater.
i shaved my head after getting my first wig, i think it was one of the most freeing thing i have done. i remember every second of it. i fell into deep depression at 15 more like dived into it. i didnt come up for air until i was 18 or 19. its a blur that time. such self loathing and the days and nights just went on forever. i regret it but i know i needed it to become who i am.
i had to change the way i treated myself, talked to myself, looked at myself in the mirror. It made such a difference waking up from that bed dream.
socialising was a huge thing for me, i feel i missed my teens sometimes although i was still a little wild in my late teens. i met my husband when i was 20 he brings out such a independant ambition in me that i never thought i would have and allows me to forfill and pursue all my dreams and goals. he knows me, my bald head more than the wigged me. when i get a new wig he looks surprised at the different me, says u look good just different, then he gets use to it.
i speak about alopecia when it comes up or others are talking about ailments, my close friends and i talk about it often, joke about stuff, i can be me.
i recently went to an immunologist as i have alopecia related anti ana and wanted to know more about alopecia and i had a few body hairs come back and they have almost all gone again. i had moreblood tests and got diognosed with lupus, just mild and emerging. i was scared that i would fall back into the depression but i have tried to speak about it and think about other things. it has helped.
i think the biggest thing coming out of alopecia is unmaterialistic love, joy, pleasure. i appreciate people not looks but energy, acts and charater.
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Comment by Amber on October 23, 2008 at 12:42pm
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i struggle with the way i treat and view myself daily. It's an on going process and sometimes I feel like it will never end. I am also 24 and all my friends are married or engaged and that doesn't help my insecurity at all.
I have also found that socializing has been a huge help for me. I never try to be alone for a longs period of time. I find that being alone sometimes fuels my negative energy and then i started getting mad about my alopecia but if i am continually surrounded by people who have accepted me than i find alopecia is much easier for me to deal with.
I enjoyed your blog today!
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Comment by Alison on October 24, 2008 at 6:46am
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thanks! amber i feel that way too. when i get to thinking toooooooo much about it negitives i need to get out of the house and go out!
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Comment by NINI on October 24, 2008 at 9:59pm
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Alison can you please tell me what alopecia related anti ana is? I have just recently developed alopecia universalis and I have a 17 year old daughter that has lupus and I would like to know if they are related in any way. I do understand that they are both auto-immune diseases but I have been extremely concerned about her inheriting alopecia. Her doctor told me that her chances of getting alopecia were only about 7% but any information that you have may help relieve me. I know that when she is having a flare up one of the the first test that they run is her ana levels. Thanks.
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i dont really understand it much, i had high ana which they said i normal for alopecia and then thiss other marker for lupus went up so i have lupus. chat to an imunologist, but i dont think they are directly linked. like it isnt a given that ppl with lupus with family history will get alopecia, i got alopecia way before lupus.
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Comment by JeffreySF on October 25, 2008 at 12:31pm
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ANA stands for Anti Nuclear Antibodies. Which refers to autoimmunity (the immune system working against the body)
I had this blood test done and it was negative.
On a lighter side.....I also appreciate peoples character. Thats who the person is.
Jeff
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yeah the Ana also goes up and down.
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