Amber
  • Female
  • Sioux City, Iowa
  • United States
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Bald headed girl trapped in a hair filled world


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Profile Information

Relationship Status:
Married
About Me:
I am a Follower of Jesus who has had alopecia since i was 12. It started on the back of my neck and my hairline in the front receded. Then I noticed spots on my legs and arms. Within a year all my facial hair was gone starting with the right side of my face and then the left side. I was continually mocked at school and my hair loss was the object of everybody's fun growing up.

For 4 years i had medication shots injected into my face and scalp and i hated it. I was passed from one doctor to another and nobody knew what was causing my hair loss. When i was 16 I had enough of the injections and of doctors and decided that i didn't want to go anymore.

It took another five years for all of the rest of my hair to fall out. It rapidly fell out when i got to college. I went from having 60% head hair to 0% in a year. There was hair everywhere. I was shedding like a dog. I hid in a hat and beanies for the majority of my college life until it no longer hid the fact that i was loosing my hair. I would get in trouble at work for not wearing my hair up and in trouble in class for wearing a hat. Not knowing what else to do i finally broke down and bought a wig. It was so emotional for me. I hid away in my room for months only coming out for class. Three weeks after i bought my first wig the rest of my hair fell out. I felt very alone and like nobody understood what i was going through.

People would ask me all the time if I had cancer, I hated meeting new people because they would just stare at me and then the dreaded question "Can I ask you a question?" haha. i would tell them i had alopecia and then have to explain what it was. I was in nursing school and when we went over autoimmune disorders my teacher pulled me to the side and asked me if I would stand up and talk about my alopecia to the class. Um....no. I most definitely will not. I had never been more embarrassed in my life.

My boss once told me that the way i did my makeup made me look Egyptian. I thought that was hilarious since I'm as white as Casper. Having Alopecia has definitely not been easy. Its been harder since I have never had a support system and have always had to deal with my alopecia alone. I honestly thought i was the only one who had alopecia because i had never met another person with it or even knew what it was. I have come a long ways in the last 3 years. I can actually talk about it now. I am no where near the point of being seen without a wig on. I still have trouble looking at myself in mirror and seeing a bald woman looking back at me. For years i clung on to God and asked why he chose to make me this way and to take it from me. I have now accepted the fact that my hair will never grow back. My prayer now is that God will be glorified through it. I am much stronger now that I have ever been.

My first wig I wore until it literally was falling to pieces. It was a fitted wig that i had to use double sided tape and stick it to my head. It was the worst thing ever. I hated it. lol. I laugh about it now. What was i thinking?

I married Richard in October of 2010. I am now a bald-head, wig-wearing preacher's wife. I couldn't be happier. My biggest fear is having kids with alopecia. I can cope with it and it has made me stronger but i desperately pray for my kids to be spared.
Do you have alopecia?
Alopecia universalis
Are you age 18 or older?
Yes - I am 18 or older
Your Website (Leave blank if you don't have one):
http://accrowson.blogspot.com

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Amber's Discussions

Alopecia Community

Started this discussion. Last reply by Rose Marie' Oct 24, 2008. 4 Replies

Comment Wall (24 comments)

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At 9:12pm on December 8, 2012, anna ricci said…

Hello Amber! As you read, I've included. I saw the same thing alone ... And I have to put a wig. I have no choice ... I start work soon and I do not know about you .. but it bothers me to make me look .... I even I find it odd. How to deal with people ... I tjrs been proud of my hair before. And I do not hardly. I bit on the arms and legs very little. It makes me really Malagasy life .... Is this disease remain strong! :)

At 12:29pm on February 2, 2009, Lori Black said…
Hi Amber, Just stopping by to let you know I thought of you and wanted to check in!! Praying you are belssed by a loving Saviour and you feel HIS strength as you help those in your day through your nursing. Jesus loves you!! Blessings!! Lori
At 9:25pm on January 21, 2009, Nesha said…
Hi Amber. I am new to the site and just came across your profile. I just had to let you know how powerful your words are for me. Its like you were telling my story. You were expressing my feelings. Its so comforting to know that there are people who understand! Like you, I look to God for strength and I know that He has a purpose for me. Thank you so much for sharing. Stay strong.
At 12:39pm on January 19, 2009, Lori Black said…
Good MOnday Amber! I pray you had a great weekend and that you felt the Lord's presence. I know the whole bald thing is just unexplainable some days, but trust me I KNOW!! God is good and He will use this as a way of ministry for all of us I am positive, Romans 8:28 assures us of this. You have the loveliest eyes!! Blesisngs on your day!! Lori
At 12:22pm on January 16, 2009, Lori Black said…
HI Amber, you have almost the same story as me!! I was diagnosed AA at 12 and started wearing a wig then, by 16 had had all the shots (OUCH!!) and the ointments and liquid topicals and prednisone even sleeping with a shower cap and plastic wrap on my head! I was done! My hair came in and fell out twice in that time and I graduated high school and went in to drugs and drinking and smoking! NOt the proper way to "run" from it, but... the Lord saved me from myself in 1999 and helped me out of my pit. You know, for 10yrs I did all that drugs and stuff and my hair completely came back all over, I was depleting my immune system I guess, but was killing my spirit at the same time. I was married with hair to a wonderful minister and with the birth of my first child my hair went again completely so, AU I am. 8 yrs later, I don't go without my wig in public either, have just ignored the stares (don't you hate that?) I think there are so many more interesting things to stare at than a persons hair or lack thereof. God loves you as you know He truly finds us beautiful on the inside is His main concern, but special in His sight nonetheless. Blessings to you!
At 4:36pm on December 12, 2008, Shana and Taylor said…
My mommy is going to school to be a crna.....u never did comment back but at least you did now!!!!

thx
Taylor
At 10:43pm on November 9, 2008, bee. said…
Hey!
Sorry i'm so late on getting back to the comment you left me on the 25th, I've been so busy lately I haven't had time to get on. Thankyou though! That completely made my night, haha. I get my eyelashes at Walmart or any drugstore really, they sell them most places like that. Depending on how dark you do your makeup, you get different lengths and thinkness. I do mine really dark so I always get number 33's or 61's...i think, haha. But i've been doing them every single day since I was 12, so i've had a little practice :p
You're beautiful too, though! The color of your eyes is gorgeous, i'm stuck with crappy brown eyes, haha. But how was your Halloween, how are you?
At 7:21pm on November 9, 2008, Shana and Taylor said…
What do you do for a living....looks like a nurse/pediatrician?
At 12:49pm on October 30, 2008, Billie said…
Hiya back fellow mississippian!! Glad you are here! You sound pretty awesome as well as so many others here! This is a great place!
At 7:02am on October 28, 2008, Cindy said…
Hi Amber, thank you for kind post. I was reading your page and I am sorry to hear you are having a hard time coping with Alopeica. I hope you can find the comfort and develop the friendships that I have found in this community. It will take time, but you will find peace with this condition and acceptance. I feel blessed that Samantha has embraced it, but I have a harder time. Slowly, I have been able to have more good days and not think about it as much. I hope I can get to the next level of acceptance if her treatments end up failing her. For now, they are working and she is doing well. Feel free to post to me anytime. Cindy

Amber's Videos

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Amber's Blog

Where can I get Blinkies

Posted on June 5, 2010 at 1:49am 0 Comments

hey everyone! i have read so much about the product Blinkies. i can't seem to buy them online anywhere. i have searched there website, www.blinkiesonline.com, and can't find where you can actually purchase and order the eyelashes. HELP!! i wanna try them so bad for my wedding in october.

i also need some advice for artificial eyebrows. anyone tried them. which are the best.

25 Truths About Me.

Posted on January 31, 2009 at 10:30am 1 Comment

I decided that this would be the perfect opportunity to practice being transparent. A good friend was recently transparent and revealed a lot of truth about himself. I'm just gonna be honest with who I really am. muhahaha.



1. I am the biggest crybaby. I cry over everything and about everything. A leaf falls and I cry.



2. I am a people pleaser and will run myself into the ground just to make somebody happy. I commit to things i cannot do and struggle with telling people the… Continue

The Memory Remains

Posted on December 5, 2008 at 1:34am 0 Comments

The Memory Remains



Have I mentioned God convicting me of myself and transforming me into himself? Just in case I haven't here it goes.



Since this whole nightmare began. hhmm let's see how long has it been now? it will be 6 months tomorrow. I keep telling myself everything's gonna be ok. God is in control. for five of those months i had no job sending my credit and financial status down, down, down, to the center of the earth. where i am slowly starting to crawl towards the… Continue

need advice about an itchy scalp

Posted on October 26, 2008 at 11:50pm 2 Comments

I know this may have already been covered but my itchy scalp is driving me crazy!!



i already have dry skin pretty bad so i'm not sure if thats just all it is or what the deal is. I absolutely hate washing my head because it itches so bad afterwards when i put my wig back on. My scalp cannot handle anything on it. lotion makes me itch like crazy, any type of hat or scarf. every wig i have ever tried has made me itch like mad. I wear three head caps under my wig just to protect my head… Continue

A new leaf

Posted on October 22, 2008 at 11:33pm 3 Comments

When i woke this morning I decided that i needed to talk about my alopecia to anyone. I will answer questions if i'm asked but I have never just voluntarily had a long discussion with my friends or anyone about it. Most of my friends knew that i wore a wig but it's just something that nobody talked about. So I decided to get to church a couple of hours early and just wait for the first person to talk in. I prayed that it would be a girl and not a guy because that would have been totally… Continue

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