I don't know about you, but I find that hair loss makes things like this even harder.

I had a few months of stability in my hair loss, and even some regrowth. Then, it started up again. It's now going strong, yet I still look presentable. Well, just about. Last night, my boyfriend of 3 years broke up with me. This is so devastating to me. I cried all night last night, a little this morning and I feel like part of me is dead at the moment. I don't believe we broke up because of my hair loss, seeing as he's been extremely supportive (as much as a boyfriend can be) about it. To be perfectly honest, I haven't been feeling well lately and depression has settled in. It's robbing me of my personality and joy in life. My boyfriend and I barely saw each other anymore, and hadn't even hung out together in the daytime for quite a while. I always feel crappy about myself and my looks in the daytime, and it takes a lot of strength for me to get the courage to do my hair and makeup.

AND we hadn't seen each other even once in the past two weeks, because we'd been fighting. My hair loss is making me an insecure person and I don't trust people as much anymore, and I was freaking out about my shed being so high lately...

I stopped devoting myself and put no time or effort into my relationship... but I was working up the strength to cope with my present life again. Yesterday I was asking him if he wanted spend some time together finally, and he told me that he couldn't do it anymore.

I know I should have seen it coming. Logically, I understand that this makes perfect sense and I don't blame him for wanting out.

But I'm going through things now that I never went through before. Like fearing that I'll never again find love, that the only man who accepted me for me is now gone. So between losing someone I love and my hair clogging the drain every day, I'm extremely stressed and in so much pain.

Tomorrow is supposed to be the best day of my life! I'm getting to go and see Beats Antique (my favorite band) and see Zoe Jakes dance (my favorite dancer). But I'm afraid I won't be able to enjoy it. Why can't I just forget everything that's going on for a little while? I'm so afraid of going and not being able to have fun, and mucking up this amazing opportunity. I had a hard time smiling today, but forced myself to anyways. I have my fingers crossed that I'll be able to appreciate the moment tomorrow, and just relax. I know that in time, this will get easier. But seriously, what bad timing.