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Comment by LeMi on November 18, 2025 at 10:50am

I genuinely wish I had this support in 1994 when I was dealing with bullies and inappropriate questions throughout grade school. 

I respect those who have embraced their identity and I one day would like to be there. But instead I was taught to hide, and to fit in as best I could to avoid the questions, to avoid being different. In hindsight there was no masking this. I didnt look like everyone else. I couldnt partake in the same activities that everyone else could for fear of the consequences. 

My own siblings used this against me as they knew it was my Achilles heel and unfortunately that was instilled in me, with good intention, by my mother. 

I truly wish that for young children, especially in this day and age, they are taught to embrace their identity whether they have all of their hair, some of it, or none of it. It should not be allowed to define you as a person. It should not be allowed to keep you from exploring the world and learning to do things you love. It shouldn't instill fear and it certainly shouldn't dictate who you become.

Adults can be judgemental, but as children growing up with questions and comments and bullying; we tend to remember more from our developmental years than we do as adults. I dont call it PTSD but it has lasting effects that no matter how old I get, my back still sweats every time I hear the "hey can I ask you a personal question?" And I immediately put up the walls and am seen as a not nice person. I not only think that people have no business asking, but its not like Im going above and beyond to hide anything. You can tell who is wearing a wig and who isn't. Don't be that person. 

Sorry my rant took a detour. Ultimately I wanted to say, acceptance begins at an early age. Why not add AA/AT/AU to the health class curriculum. It takes a day, and provides awareness that need not be stigmatized forever and ever. 

Comment by Pat on November 16, 2025 at 9:45pm

Hi Cheryl. Like a lot of people I haven't been here for quite some time, but when I first found it I was amazed at how many people were here with alopecia. I tended to think I was very much alone especially in my own area. 

I think the people I have interacted with have been very honest about their feelings, as this is a safe place whether it's venting after having a bad day or feeling grateful for what we have. 

In my case intimacy was definitely a challenge at the beginning of my alopecia journey. I didn't even want my husband or children to see the state of my hair when it was falling out. If I had had someone to talk it over with at that stage of my alopecia journey it would have been wonderful. However that was many years ago now and although I still cling to my wigs when I'm out and about, I'm not that precious over my family seeing me without them now.

Comment by Vick on November 16, 2025 at 5:40pm

I just wanted to leave a word of thanks for a site like this to exist. I've never been active, but what you've been doing in benefit of alopecians and raaise awareness is great. 

Comment by Cheryl, Co-founder on November 14, 2025 at 11:25pm

Hi Sheila,  

Thank you for sharing something so tender and deeply personal. Reading your story, I could feel both the weight you were carrying then and the strength you’ve grown into now. The moment you described — shaving your head with someone from this community staying online with you the whole time — that’s exactly the kind of quiet, steady love that has carried so many of us through some of the hardest parts of this journey.

And the way your mother responded… that touched me. There’s something incredibly moving about realizing that your courage gave her peace, even in a moment when you were simply trying to breathe easier yourself. It says so much about the bond you two shared.

I also appreciate you naming support systems, and how important (and sometimes invisible) they are. You’re right — not everyone has someone in their corner, and not everyone knows how to ask. Your reminder is needed. These conversations matter. They open doors. They help someone who’s quietly struggling realize they don’t have to go through this alone.

Because of what you shared, I added a new space in the community for exactly this kind of connection. It’s called “Who’s in Your Corner? A Space to Share, Ask, and Connect.” It’s a gentle place for people to talk about who supported them, the support they need, or even to offer themselves as someone willing to stand with another member. You can find it here:

https://alopeciaworld.com/forum/topics/who-s-in-your-corner-a-space...

Thank you again for trusting us with this piece of your story. It truly does make a difference.

Comment by Sheila Pinder on November 14, 2025 at 10:50pm

First, this site was beneficial when I decided to embrace alopecia and shave my head. There was a member who communicated with me for a week, and the evening I shaved my head for the first time, she stayed online to support me throughout the process. I credit this site and that member for getting me over a hurdle. After I shaved my head, my mother told me she was happy to see me not stressing over hair loss and walking tall with my new look. She died a few months after making that statement. I have never looked back. I shaved my head for myself, but it relieved the stress and sadness that my mother was also carrying. Something I never knew until she made that statement.

Limiting my response to one thing, I would like to see the alopecia community discuss their support systems (or lack thereof) more openly. For those who need a support system, it may be possible to find it here if their need is known. Sometimes we perceive ourselves differently from how others perceive us. Knowing someone cares, even if it is only through a transition, could make a significant difference for someone seeking support.