Hi all,
I just came to the realisation that being bald means nothing in the light of finding love or someone to share a tender, meaningful moment with.
I am beautiful no matter what. I have wonderful eyes, an amazing personality, a gorgeous, womanly, curvaceous body which I appreciate.
There are men out there that (and women too!) that only want you for a fuck whether you are blind, deaf, bald, have acne, etc etc, or because you are hot, have beautiful hair, none of this matters at the end of the day, IF this person is that shallow that they only want you for SEX!
I had that experience tonight. Been with a guy, but because he's had me once he does not want me again, and it has absolutley NOTHING to do with my lack of hair! It has to do with his lack of MORALE, his EGO, his lack of SUBSTANCE. Basically he is a s*$& that would F&^! anything that moves. I am not that anything. I am one of the people that has PRIDE and lowered my expectations tonight.
We are all women, with or without hair. Our hair does not define us.
What makes a man? Mae West once said "A man can be short, fat and balding (or something along those lines) but if he has fire women will love him"
The same can be said of women. I am 27, I will be 57 one day, but the fact still remains, I may not have hair (or I might again when I'm 57, who knows with this unpredictable disorder!), but I have SUBSTANCE, MORALE, PERSONALITY, ENCHANTING EYES, A VOICE nobody can deny.
I am proud of who I am. I am proud of what I look like. If I have no hair and I fear society might not like it but that is my fear, not theirs.
What we project is so important.
I am raving I know, but it has all just come clear to me in seeing such an ugly person. Being bald is not ugly. Ugly is a bad attitude, not a bald head. Ugly is someone who doesn't give a shit about anybody, let alone themselves.
I need to take care of me.
Here in Alopecia World, what a lovely place to be, we all take care of each other. What a lovely place to be, where my eyes are open to more than what I can see.
xoxoxo

Views: 11

Comment by kimberly dean on October 1, 2009 at 11:28am
PS I would like to add, in case anybody infers, that this 'bloke' never made me feel bad about being bald. He is just a person. My baldness is a non-issue here. I am not attacking the male race, because there are beautiful men out there. Before I lost my hair I have had a knack at choosing the bad boys who are just selfish. The point is that tonight I realised that if he were bald but beautiful it wouldn't matter.
I feel amazing. I am who I am. I am getting more confident as each day passes. The only thing is I wish my shaved head was not so bloody patchy!!! Hahaha

I am on the verge of one of my eye brows only being half an eyebrow and I am taking it in my stride. If you knew me, you would think that this would be a mighty challenge, but I will just get them tattooed on!!! As days pass, (and Aimee, this reminds me of you and my heart goes out to you honey xo) I think I will not have time to notice, but as Aimee posted, when I get up in the morning and look in the mirror without my hair, my eyelashes, eyebrows that's when she 'feels' it. I know if it comes to that with me, that I will feel the same.
But thanks to you Aimee, I know I am not alone, and that somewhere on the other side of the world, is a woman who goes through it, but at the end of it, feels just as beautiful as ever
xoxox
Comment by Mary on October 1, 2009 at 11:22pm
Kimberly, you're amazing. Thank you for sharing your feelings. I thought I was going to lose the woman I am when I lost my hair. I feel like the last year has been a tunnel that I've come through, and I came to the same conclusion you did. You have to take care of yourself, nurture yourself, be proud of yourself, and appreciate your inner and outer beauty. Way to go!
Comment by Jane on October 2, 2009 at 9:13am
thanks for sharing! it made me smile :)
Comment by Natalie on October 2, 2009 at 4:57pm
Awesome post, Kimberly! You have a fantastic attitude. It is so great to see so many strong, beautiful women on this site! Your spirit is absolutely contagious - rock on :D
Comment by KD on October 2, 2009 at 5:36pm
Basically he is a s*$& that would F&^! anything that moves ??? Oh man that's wimpy :D
Comment by rj, Co-founder on October 3, 2009 at 5:29am
I have three daughters, one of whom is in her early 20's and two of which are teens. This is kind of strong and galvanizing writing I like to share with them. Keep doing you, Kimberly, because no other human being could ever be as good to you as you are to yourself.
Comment by kimberly dean on October 5, 2009 at 3:14am
Wow, after reading these newest comments I feel so good. Thank you everyone. Yvonne, I am working on feeling confident inside and out. What you say is so true, charm, charisma and humour, some of the most attractive qualities in people, have nothing to do with our physical appearance.
Comment by Ernesto on October 8, 2009 at 4:59pm
Kimberly, I just posted a blog about my current situation. Today is a BAD, vary bad day. I am trying so hard to hold it together and I feel like screaming. I read your blog. THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU. I needed to read that. Sometimes when we ourselves are at a low point it is uplifting that people on here can be strong for those of us that just don't have the strength at the moment. When my mood lifts, and it will because it always does, I hope to be that voice of strength for someone else who feels as low as I do now. Again, Thank you so much.
Comment by Scaredandhopeful on May 30, 2010 at 7:54am
I really liked reading this
Comment by Mary on May 30, 2010 at 12:09pm
Hi Kimberly - I reread this lovely post of yours after the recent comment. You really said it all so well! And, coincidentally, I'll be 57 in about a week. Hugs, Mary

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