Comment by Tallgirl on September 16, 2012 at 5:22am

Emily, I once worried about that too (I am a grandma now). My solution back in junior high was to wear granny sleep-caps to sleepovers. My mom sewed them for me and sewed my nightgowns, so it looked like just a store-bought matching set. Of course, those things are not in fashion now. I think a comfy scarf, put on either earlier during talks or after everyone has lights out, could cover up if you don't want to wear a cheap short wig to bed. My issue was always, "What if it falls off while I sleep?" I would take my sleeping bag to some obscure corner of the room, and have pillows handy to snuggle under. Luckily, I usually was able to go to sleep last and wake up before others, with time to adjust my scarf. Cotton scarves or ones made from T-shirt materials (find the online YouTube video about making a scarf from a t-shirt) stay on best.

As to telling people, maybe your mom could explain to the host mom ahead of time. Or maybe you could get the video explaining alopecia from www.naaf.org to show to a few friends, and have your mom and a best friend's mom on hand, with pizza and cookies, to hold a discussion about acceptance or support for you at school. You could even have fun coming up with a list of witty come-backs for bullies (make a list or note cards to practice and role play with your friends). Make sure your school nurse and administrator have printed info on alopecia in case the issue comes up or you have to defend wearing a hat or wig. You may have to someday admit that your extension story was fake, so in order for friends not to get angry that you stretched the truth, make you could say that you found out you have a temporary condition you are hoping will reverse, so you "get to" wear cool wigs in the meantime. That is closer to the truth, yes?

By the way...my hair grew back for a long time at age 20. No wigs for 15 years (I dated more, got engaged and married, had kids, finished a master's degree). Don't let alopecia stop you from having fun right now, because you need the credits for college and high school adventures to remember later. One last thing: finding a back-up social group is also good. Mine was friends through my faith and travels to seminars out-of-town. Some people have horse shows, music lessons and concerts, art shows. Develop a talent, and see where it takes you. Olympics?

Comment by Tallgirl on September 16, 2012 at 5:54am

Comment by Tallgirl on September 16, 2012 at 6:36am

Comment by De-nise on September 17, 2012 at 3:44pm

I had the same problem.
I think half of the people in my school really dun know whats going on with me cuz they dun know me. And thats the point. People who dun know me, dun must know about it. I only tell people who ask or who are very close to me and those close people accept it. So i also can sleep at their house without any problems. and i feel comfortable :)
If people i dun really know, ask me i decide spontaneous if i tell them in detail. But always remember, if they ask they r interested in the answer and r interested in u. I often appreciate questions.
Otherwise u ll notice the dishonesty.

But u should do what makes u feel comfortable. If u dun like to talk about it dun talk.
Its ur choice.

Comment by ☆Emily☆ on September 17, 2012 at 5:48pm

Thanks both of you so much for the helpful comments! I have a much better idea of what to do now! In fact, i told one of my close friends today (who thought it was my real hair) and they were realy supportive about it so that has given me a bit of a confidence boost, hopefully other people will be like that too! Definately going to try out some new looks with scarves when i go to sleepovers (thanks for the video!) Thanks again for all your help! :) xx

Comment by BTB (John) on September 18, 2012 at 5:17pm

Well done Em your reaching out.

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