In the past few weeks, I've really changed. Changed in the sense that I'm not allowing myself to hide that I have alopecia anymore. I'm no longer considering it a 'secret'. I shouldn't be ashamed of it, because alopecia is apart of me, and I will not be ashamed of myself. It was difficult to talk about it before to my family, and even worse when I talked about it to my best friend. I would always end up crying. But recently, I told more of my friends, without a single tear, and they understood. They didn't look at me different, nor did they feel uncomfortable. They accepted me for who I am. And that felt so good, that I think I'm becoming addicted to letting it all out. I want to talk about it, tell people, and have discussions. I also told my boyfriend that I have alopecia, and he said it doesn't change anything. That response, made me feel like for once in my life, alopecia isn't ruining anything. Just because I don't have hair, doesn't mean I don't have true friends. I've been wanting to post this since last week, but it's better late than never. :)

Views: 948

Comment by Susan Beausang on May 22, 2013 at 7:08am

Congratulations. I've had to let go of these feelings 3 times in the past 13 years- as I 've enjoyed 3 re-growths and them mourned three fall outs. God gave me this disease for a reason - it has provided me with strength I never knew I had. It changed me for sure, but I can't help think those changes were positive and i walk a better life because of it.

Comment by Emily Mondin Johnson on May 22, 2013 at 7:39am
I admit I am struggling with this. I too have enjoyed 3 full regrowths and currently have enough to not wear my wig. But I am feeling thw oh-too-familiar tingling in my scalp and know my chances of lasting regrowth ever again is very slim, at age 42. the mourni.g and remourning is an awful rollercoaster.
Comment by ASRN on May 22, 2013 at 8:11am
I felt the same way. Once I started really telling people it was a huge relief!
Comment by Tony on May 22, 2013 at 8:11am

Great Jackie. Your true friends will be your friends no matter what. You are to be admired for your courage!

Comment by Lori M on May 22, 2013 at 9:01am
That is fantastic! It is such a huge relief isn't it once you just say to heck with it and you decided not to worry about it anymore. I know that is a huge step. For me the time I finally let got for real was when I let my husband see me bald for the first time. I was getting my scan done of my head for my freedom wig. I had travelled down to the states to do it taking my husband and my daughter with me. There was only one hotel room so I couldn't hide it. After that I realized he loved me for me. Don't get me wrong I will never be the girl that goes around without a wig in public. I am in scarves or wigs except at home where I am au naturel. the odd time up at the lake when there is no one around and it is really hot I let the wonderful breeze blow on my bald head. It is the best!

Anyways I am so pleased for you because I know how tough the journey is. Once you let go you start to live your life. I actually have quite a lot of regrowth after going on the HCG diet. You know what I am not keepihng my hopes up that it will come back. In fact I tell my mom forget about it because I have no intentions of letting it grow and going through all the emotional stuff again when it falls out again. I made my peace with the fact I have Alopecia and that is how I will live my life out. In fact I get such a kich out of telling people I have Alopecia especially when I have my freedom wig on. It is priceless to pop the wig off and see the expressionn. See life can still be fun!
Comment by Meme on May 22, 2013 at 9:52am

I was moved to tears when I read your post. I felt the same way....I was tired of wearing wigs and being afraid of what people would say or how they would treat me. I made the decision to "unmask myself"....and I feel free.

Comment by WendiMaria on May 22, 2013 at 10:21am
Jackie!
I needed to see this at this moment. I thank you for sharing. Only a few people know in my life. I want to shout it from the mountain tops because I now realize that my hair does not define who I am as a person! I change my hair like I change my clothes! YOU ROCK!
Comment by Kimberly on May 22, 2013 at 10:53am

Way to go Jackie! Once I started being more open with alopecia, it changed things for me. It was like this burden lifted! I've always said, I don't have to like what's happened to me (I've had some form of alopecia for 31 years, been AU for the last 17 years) but I did need to accept it was part of me. I think an attitude makes all the difference in how people accept you - if you exude confidence - positvie - can mix in a little good humor, people will be attracted to you. (if that makes sense) anywho, best of luck to you! God Bless!

Comment by ladylobo on May 22, 2013 at 11:06am

You are an inspiration to me, Jackie, as I am still new to all of this and struggling with raw emotions daily. Thank you for sharing!

Comment by Rosanna on May 22, 2013 at 1:56pm

This is awesome, Jackie! Congratulations on accepting yourself exactly the way you are! :-)

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