Alopecia World
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Alopecia Manifesto
Here's mine. What's yours?
Okay. I have had to finally admit to myself, my mirror, my family, my friends and any loved ones that I am an alopecian. Now, it is known. It was always in my genes, waiting to be triggered. It doesn't matter if it is one small spot or over my whole body; it IS THERE, and I will always have these genes. So, until/unless a remedy is found in my lifetime, I am free to do what an alopecian needs to do, including:
AVOID wind, swimming and some activities when wearing a wig;
CHANGE topper (or not) as I see fit to make myself feel better.
This includes style, length, color...because I CAN. I don't
get to have the salon experience anymore, and I maintain the
right to experience change just like those gals do who go to
beauty shops!);
ALLOW a tag, netting, edge or strings to accidentally show under
my "hair." SO WHAT? I'll live;
SPEND personal time away if I am emotional or afraid, even if I
miss a few outings or activities;
THROW ON a hat or cap when cold or windblown; and
WEAR whatever the "L" I want for important events, dates, speeches,
interviews, intimacies...and it is none of anyone's business
why! They may ask me a question in private, but I do not HAVE
TO share. That's my right!
The haired folk can choose to like me, respect me, love me, admire me, befriend me, invite me, include me, look me in the eyes, laugh WITH (not at) me, hug me, hire me, talk to me, be kind to me, and apologize to me. I don't need much more than these. The ones who choose NOT to, have that right, but I will then decide accordingly about their role in my life. I may not have enough on my pate, but I certainly have plenty on my plate! I will do what I, not they, need to do about my losses. They can tell me how they feel, and if I care about continued communication with them, I may incorporate their ideas into my choices, as long as those feel right for me. If they still aren't happy, I will show them the road! I have to think about my own emotional safety for the rest of my life.
The others may be here for the duration, here for a reason or a season, here as practice for my future relationships, or here to teach me a lesson about people or trust. I WILL remember how and if they helped me on this journey...or how they didn't. They need to be careful of what they say, because my memories last a long time.
And, I can read between lines!
I. Am. Alopecian.
Time to admit it and deal with the world MY way. My choices have to be what/who will make me happier in life...in my new incarnation!
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Comment by Bald and Fabulous AKA Terri on January 22, 2012 at 1:08pm
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way to go Tallgirl. this is wonderful. live life as you want it and not for someone else. do what makes you the happiest. live for yourself. things that all should remember
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Comment by Misshockey on January 23, 2012 at 5:42pm
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Amen
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Comment by rosamosqueta on January 24, 2012 at 8:03am
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Tallgirl: It´s a very good description of a new life,plenty of acceptance and,the most important thing,a good self esteem. I think alopecia changes our lifes, if we can overcome it, we turn stronger and happier.Thanks for sharing your post.
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Comment by Julie Koch on January 25, 2012 at 1:08pm
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Well said Tallgirl! You put that into words very well... Thanks!
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Comment by Tallgirl on January 25, 2012 at 8:53pm
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Just so you know, I have also been stepping out of my comfort zone by suddenly appearing bald and having "first times" in various places since May, 2011. First time bald on a mountain, at a wine tasting room, while driving on a major highway, in a redwood forest, in a landmark/tourist bar, looking out at an ocean while in a popular restaurant, in a crowded beauty shop...each a small step for me, but a giant leap for....no, wait a minute...that was the moon walk!
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If all of us could take those "small steps", perhaps people could be more used to see alopecians, and some of them, instead of bullying, would behave with more acceptance. I thought to be wigless very often, but I´m not so courageous. Perhaps, I´m afraid of being offended by some gossips.But I don´t give up, and I´ll try to encourage myself.(excuse me if my English is not so good)
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Tallgirl..that is so wonderful to hear. Its all about the first small steps. I remember my first time that I walked into the drug store for a quick pick up. It felt so liberating. I now feel confident to do all my shopping without anything on my head, in fact during the summer months I spent more and more time going about my day without head covering. I dont refer to it as "going out bald" for I feel Im always bald, that the unchanged. Its a matter of a head covering or not.
Congrats Tallgirl.
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And here's to two wonderful supporters, who both lost consciousness on a January 27th, three years apart: my loving parents. They took me to treatments, kept my secret, didn't dwell, always treated me like nothing had happened, and bought me wigs so I could go to school, dances, trips and parties with no problems. I am remembering them today. Mom always kept her sunny, joking disposition despite cancer, and dad kept positive to his end as well (also cancer). They were examples to me in how to keep living life, no matter what. Keep on dancin' up there, you two! xxx
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