So since the last time i wrote on here i was starting to deal with all my insecurities of my alopecia. Since then I have met a wonderful guy named John and we started dating each other. I still have not showed him my shaved head and i sleep with my wig on which can be annoying at some times. He knows about my condition and said when i am ready to show him he will be there for me. I just need some more time.

About 2 weeks into our relationship he started complaining about back pains. The pains only increased until he had to go to emergency. We thought that maybe due to where the pain was located it could be kidney stones so the hospital ran tests to check for kidney stones. It was because of tests they were able to detect what was causing the pain. It turns out he has testicular cancer and it has spread and we still do not know how much. The doctor he was referred to made him his priority case and has been rushing everything. We found this all out tuesday of last week since then he has had surgery to remove one of his testicals and has been to the hospital several times for many tests. I have pretty much moved in to help with all of this. Next to what he is going through my alopecia seems so minor.

With all of this happening so fast i have been really stressed but i want to be here for him. Everyone keeps telling me i need to look after myself and i know that but i want to be here and help. Sometimes when he is having a bad day he yells at me and that makes it hard to want to be here but i know it is because he is going through a really hard time and is in a lot of pain. He knows when he is being an @$$ (lol) and always apologizes. He is an amazing guy though he makes me happy and i am glad i met him everyday. On top of working 40 hours a week and helping him and my alopecia it has been a really hard time but i am going to be really strong.

Also, I have started seeing the therapist and that has really been helping I am actually looking forward to my next appointment so maybe she can help me with some stress cooping exercises i can do when i am overwhelmed (like lately).