Comment by Heather L on April 7, 2009 at 4:27pm

Hey Danielle,

Recognizing you need help and following through to find it takes a lot of strength- not weakness! I do understand how you feel- at times I think we all feel that way! Courage is feeling afraid and doing it any way.

Good luck!
Heather

Comment by lidia on April 7, 2009 at 6:05pm

Hi..
I think that talking to a stranger about your feelings might be easier than talking with your family. I wish that i had a therapist when i was loosing my hair. Back then, 1985, was not something people were doing or doctors were suggesting. This might help you alot. Its a very stressfull, scarry and lonely time to have alopecia. So good for you for recognizing that you might need a hand. And if you need to talk fellow canadian... here i am...
lidia

Comment by Tallgirl on April 7, 2009 at 11:15pm

Personally, I never met a therapist who really "gets" what we are going through. I think a group that handles body part loss would be more in tune...at a hospital, maybe? I think hair IS a major body part, and if students tease when I am subbing, I ask them to all write a paper about how they would feel if a loved one lost a body part. (Then one or two will get a look of awareness on their faces, and know why I made the assignment. Usually a couple of apologies follow.) At any rate, I don't think a haired counselor or minister would really relate, so try a hospital support or grief group. They also have leads as to good doctors with kind demeanors. I learned a lot at a cancer support group (other bald women there) and a grief group (my mom had just died). Journaling also helps, because you end up rereading and counseling yourself with wisdom from within you. Good luck!

Comment by JeffreySF on April 8, 2009 at 12:44am

Find out if there is a local support group in your area for alopecia areata.

Until then we are all here for you.

Hugz,

Jeffrey

Comment by Mary on April 8, 2009 at 12:57pm

I think that is why as soon as I was sure that I had the same condition as my mom, who has been wearing a wig for over 20 years I got it all out with everyone. Even though it wasn't as noticeable as it is now. I broke down right away with my husband and sister(who is going through this as well) I told most of the people at work. It came up beacause everyone is always is talking about haircuts, hairstyles, etc. I still have such sadness and just anxiety about the waiting for the next step. I am glad that everyone close to me knows how devasted I am and so I can just recieve their care and concern and move on. I think it does help to talk to a stranger(therapist) because with your family they just want to take away your pain a therapist may give you ways to cope with your loss. I wish you well.

Mary

Comment by Tnabugg on April 8, 2009 at 9:44pm

I am sorry that you had a really bad day. This is a difficult issue to deal with and doctors seem so unsympathic to what we go through. It's frustrating and its seems like you have NO control over this situation. That's how I feel most of the time. I think you are on the right track to reaching out and getting help. Even though you may feel like you are showing a weak side of yourself.. this is a heavy burden to carry alone.

Hugs,
Tina

Comment by Audrey on April 18, 2009 at 11:03pm

Hey Danielle! I just wanted to sympathize a little with your skepticism of professional therapy and applaud you on your decision to finally go :) In my experience, it was really a difficult decision to make - like you, I thought seeing a counselor was a sign of weakness! I finally decided to talk to someone, though, and I realized that if you find *the right* trained professional they can be really, really effective in helping you look at your situation from new perspectives, understand yourself and others better, and reach your own goals.

Also remember: You have choices! If you don't like the first one you talk to, find another who you like and click with better!! From my experience, some therapists are rather inept (for example, abrasive or insensitive), while others are wonderful (sympathetic and goal-oriented). And they each use slightly different methods, which might also affect whether you like one better than another.

Finally, you might want to do a quick Google search for articles on how Alopecia affects people psychologically and even bring the psychologist a homework assignment! I've never met a therapist who had any background in our specific condition, but in the past few years there have been a growing number of scientific journal articles analyzing its psychological impacts. Sometimes you need to "help your helper" a little so they understand where you're coming from, or at least that's what I found :)

Good luck and I hope it goes well!!

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