Alopecia World
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Being bald is not a reason not to date
So the guy I told that I have alopecia. 2 ½ weeks ago I called our relationship off for good reasons. I found out that because a guy accepts you with alopecia doesn’t mean it will be a match made in heaven, it only made me realize that a lot of other guys will be just accepting.
First he never called/text after working hours. And he was always too busy. Too busy to call/text/be together, sounds like maybe a wife @home. I said what am I doing dating you? So after trying to explain this to him and he agreed to change and did not. I called it off. He had been on vacation since the whole BALD coming out thing! Thanks be to God!
So he emailed how I was doing. Story short he asked to see me (we both work in the same location). In my mind I said, “yes I get to test this bald thing out for real.” He has seen a picture of me bald but never in person, it was becoming real. I told him I looked different but sure ! LOL who knows what was running through his head @ DIFFERENT!!!! I thought maybe I can really scare him away because I don’t need him to start calling and emailing me after the drama!
Exciting. Yes, BUT! I was nervous after the invite. What have I done? I don’t want to see him! Esp. not bald! My co-worker tried to calm me down. “You don’t even like him.” I said Yes but bald is bald, I thought about it. And sat at my desk waiting for him to enter in. I see the door open. His scrubs, I stare waiting for his reaction.
I jump up and say “HI HOW ARE YOU? I LOOK DIFFERENT DON’T I? He smiled, “No, SO what this is you! Who cares!.”
Scaring him went out the window. He commented on how good I look and how he would like to have lunch. How me not talking to him hurt him… so on. As I worked and talked at the same time he said “Look at you! You look so comfortable! See I told you it doesn’t matter and besides it looks good on you.”
I am happy that he liked it but now I don’t think he will ever stop calling or texting. I plainly had to tell him to leave and agreed to have lunch if he did so!
In the past, I can't believe i didn't want to date because I was bald or was hiding under a wig. I spent 2 years in a relationship hiding it from someone. When he even mentioned changing my hair style i would ignore it or start an arguement to try to end the relationship. If someone likes you they like you for you.
I read on someone’s blog that said bald girls have more fun!
Its true! Not all days are happy! But the comments that I get are so hilarious sometimes, the stares and reactions can be funny as well (if im in the mood to respond back). I am happy being me, I can laugh joke and forget my hair is gone sometimes.Until someone is staring in it like a fortune globe! LOL God Bless.
First he never called/text after working hours. And he was always too busy. Too busy to call/text/be together, sounds like maybe a wife @home. I said what am I doing dating you? So after trying to explain this to him and he agreed to change and did not. I called it off. He had been on vacation since the whole BALD coming out thing! Thanks be to God!
So he emailed how I was doing. Story short he asked to see me (we both work in the same location). In my mind I said, “yes I get to test this bald thing out for real.” He has seen a picture of me bald but never in person, it was becoming real. I told him I looked different but sure ! LOL who knows what was running through his head @ DIFFERENT!!!! I thought maybe I can really scare him away because I don’t need him to start calling and emailing me after the drama!
Exciting. Yes, BUT! I was nervous after the invite. What have I done? I don’t want to see him! Esp. not bald! My co-worker tried to calm me down. “You don’t even like him.” I said Yes but bald is bald, I thought about it. And sat at my desk waiting for him to enter in. I see the door open. His scrubs, I stare waiting for his reaction.
I jump up and say “HI HOW ARE YOU? I LOOK DIFFERENT DON’T I? He smiled, “No, SO what this is you! Who cares!.”
Scaring him went out the window. He commented on how good I look and how he would like to have lunch. How me not talking to him hurt him… so on. As I worked and talked at the same time he said “Look at you! You look so comfortable! See I told you it doesn’t matter and besides it looks good on you.”
I am happy that he liked it but now I don’t think he will ever stop calling or texting. I plainly had to tell him to leave and agreed to have lunch if he did so!
In the past, I can't believe i didn't want to date because I was bald or was hiding under a wig. I spent 2 years in a relationship hiding it from someone. When he even mentioned changing my hair style i would ignore it or start an arguement to try to end the relationship. If someone likes you they like you for you.
I read on someone’s blog that said bald girls have more fun!
Its true! Not all days are happy! But the comments that I get are so hilarious sometimes, the stares and reactions can be funny as well (if im in the mood to respond back). I am happy being me, I can laugh joke and forget my hair is gone sometimes.Until someone is staring in it like a fortune globe! LOL God Bless.
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Comment by Petra on September 24, 2010 at 2:52pm
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Interesting that he was put off by the whole wig thing.....I wonder how many other guys are out there that are? It will be interesting to see if you are approached by more guys to date now that you are going au natural.
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Comment by Sam Sam on September 24, 2010 at 3:06pm
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@CaliforniaGurl its over, i dont eventrust it, I too have been there, also if I forced him to call after work, i can here he is in the bathroom calling, I've been there too :) Thanks for that eye!!!!!!!!
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@petra I have been aproached more than before!!!! Im not an attention seeker so sometimes it bothers me more. Esp some guys get the wrong idea>
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@Tallgirl I could not see that he found wigs embrassing. Maybe be he had a moment growing up, i should have asked. I dont know who the one is but i do know he isn't even close. :)
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Comment by sharon on September 24, 2010 at 5:26pm
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Wow I have a friend who has Aleopecia Universalis also and is dating a man( by the way they are both in their 40's) and has not told him yet, She has also slept with him a few times and she said he hasnt noticed her wig she wants to tell him but is afraid of telling him now after she slept with him,she feels that he is gonna think differently and break their relationship off. I dont know what to tell her? Any suggestions?
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Comment by Bald and Fabulous AKA Terri on September 24, 2010 at 8:24pm
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this has been incredibly helpful. I have shied away from relationships for so long. I would date but always kept everything super casual and if it looked like something more serious I would walk away from it. Currently (well the last 1 1/2 yrs) I have had a long distant internet relationship. He has known about the alopecia from the start and always made a point in calling/being online after I had injection treatments done. Has been super supportive since I shaved my head (he has seen pics) But I think sometimes I chose a relationship like this only not to get too close, even tho we are making plans on meeting.
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Comment by Tallgirl on September 25, 2010 at 2:13am
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Do we choose love, or does love choose us? Terri, I guess you will find out when you meet, as did all those people who took wooden boats and covered wagons, carried faded photos...or who had arranged marriages. At some point, two people have to look one another in the eye, get a gut feeling, "just know," etc. What if your instincts are surprisingly RIGHT about someone...THEN what? Yeah, I know: then the REAL decisions begin! :)
Sharon, does your friend fear lonliness more than honesty? Does she want sex more than honesty? Are hugs, attention, or free meals and movies better than honesty? At 40, she perhaps needs to get her priorities checked. What if all she HAD to work with was honesty...and NO touch? Could she relate then? Sometimes one has to just leap into a truth-telling session, even if afraid.
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I told her to tell him if he really cares for her it wont matter I guess its just coming out with telling him about having AU is whats the problem. Will he accept her or walk away?It will be quite painful for her if it was a just a physcial relationship based on appearance.She really has fallen for him.I can only offer her advice and hope she can come to terms with her AU and tell him the truth its just a matter of time.Thanks Tallgirl !
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Comment by Marisa on October 14, 2010 at 12:11am
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I still can't imagine dating....all the explaning....uggg...not just the baldness, but the total lack of hair....maybe total body wax...lol....ah well...
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LOL to be honest that was the first question he asked about.... IS THERE NO HAIR ON THE BODY - and he asked with EXCITEMENT ,I had to dissapoint him when I said no. I have hair other places (Which I don't understand)
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