Hello Everyone! I need to vent...

Not only am I loosing my hair, my image, my self-worth, my sense of femininity, at 29, but no one seems to understand. I finally told my mother after several months and she said "well, things like cancer happen as you get older. Its not that bad. It could be worse." My sister in law is belittling the situation too. I feel like no one is LISTENING. Just HEAR me. This is HARD. I know it would be hard for them if it happened to them too!

I needed to tell people who would understand. 

Thanks guys,

Veronica

Views: 639

Comment by Marisa on November 10, 2015 at 8:44pm

Hey Veronica

I only tell you that i understand you!!I have AU and really we lose self-esteem, confidence, is so hard! You can tell me in message private, just accept my frien request.

Comment by GardenJess on November 11, 2015 at 2:13pm

I think those close to us often can't help but want to fix the problem, and that can come across as dismissive. That's why forums where you can just be heard are so useful. "Just wear a wig--it looks better than your hair did anyway," "Get some help with the children and lose the stress" -- solutions are so simple from the outside, and so infuriating or painful or whatever from the inside. It's horrible. It sucks. And, yes, life goes on, and you don't need someone to tell you that, but they may be motivated by trying to make you feel better.

Comment by Marisa on November 11, 2015 at 6:59pm

Think that a wig solves is illusion because the wig is not your hair. people do not understand. see the hair to fall and uncertainty turns to birth is very difficult to manage emotionally. Haven't eyebrows and eyelashes is also sucks..have alopecia is hard

Comment by Kristie "IronDoll" Howard on November 14, 2015 at 5:01pm

I have had this too.  When I told my current boyfriend about my struggles while going through losing all my hair and how hard it was to me he replied, it is only hair and you look fine without it.  

I truly feel that way today-- it is only hair and I am fine without it.  But it took a LONG time for me to arrive at that conclusion.

I was really hurt by his words which seemed to minimize and make light of what was a life changing event that shapes who I am today.

Just know that they CAN'T understand, and sometimes they won't even attempt to empathize with you.  That is what websites like this is for.

Thank you for sharing, I think this is an issue many people face.

Comment by Faye on November 17, 2015 at 2:27pm
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Comment by Sayde on November 30, 2015 at 7:23pm

Hey Veronica,

I just wanted to reach out and let you know I feel for you.  I'm 28 and lost 95% of the hair on my scalp over the course of 5 months, in the midst of planning my wedding... Even though our condition seems like it's "only hair" and there are hats, and scarves, and wigs, it really shapes who we are and how we feel about yourself.  I know how shitty it can be when people try to force optimism on us, or don't know what to say, so absentmindedly offer half-hearted condolences or belittling advice. I'm sorry you feel like you're not being heard, or that people you would normally confide in see it only as a superficial issue.

Comment by Veronicasteele on December 1, 2015 at 9:28am

Thank you soooo much everyone! Wow the response was so helpful! Its nice to have a place to come to where I can feel heard. I recently dyed the hair I have left and use Vivacal and hair extensions. They are pretty uncomfortable but for now my confidence has gone up a little. It helps when I see more fall out that I can Donald Trump my hair and feel better. And look better than Donald Trump lol. 

Thanks guys!!! <3<3

Comment by Sharalexis on December 13, 2015 at 9:08pm

I lost my hair at 27 years and it really messes with ur sexuality...I found that cortisone shots and Lidex gel treatment worked to regrow hair but the autoimmune system kicked back in so the regrowth only lasted 2 years. Get a good therapist or counselor to talk to and find a board certified dermatologist to treat u . good luck and happy healthy new year

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