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Coming out
I work with a guy that has alopecia but we have never talked about it. I don't even know if he knows that I have alopecia. There are not to many people at work that do know, since I have been wearing a wig at work. Well, the other day I walked into a conversation by a couple of female co-workers and they were talking about my fellow alopecian brother at work. The conversation went something like this. " It started with a small bald spot on the top of his head. His wife said he should go to the Dr. The Dr. gave him shots and the shots made all his hair fall out. You mean he does not have hair anywhere? " So I'm sitting there thinking here is my chance, and I took it. I told them that the shots did not make his hair fall out. That he has alopecia and that I have it too. WOW, I did it. The one co-worker who posed the question "He doesn't have hair anywere?" said yeah I know what that is and walked away. The other was interested in learning more and I took the opportunity to do so. I never did mention I wear a wig.......so I'm not sure what she really thinks. I would of loved to talk more about it but it was back to work and the opportunity didn't present itself again.
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Comment by Tallgirl on August 6, 2010 at 8:31pm
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It will. Be ready!
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Comment by Cheryl, Co-founder on August 7, 2010 at 12:53am
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Petra, good on you for taking the opportunity. You did what you needed to do. If they have more questions, I am sure they know you are open to the conversation.
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Comment by Norm on August 7, 2010 at 8:07am
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Aimee, maybe they think you're some kind of Gardening Goddess who can make things grow with a wave of your hand... and you apply the same magic to your hair!
Or maybe they've sussed the long one's definitely a wig, but think it's a fashion thing and don't realise you're actually bald? Hey, in that case, maybe you could try wearing one of those latex bald caps and see what they say - that'd start the conversation off, for sure.... I'd love to be there when you took it off :)
Petra, that's great that you started to talk about it at work. Now either just leave the topic and let your work pal make the next move, or if you just can't wait, ask her what she thinks about you taking off your wig, now she knows about the alopecia.... should make for an interesting chat!
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Comment by Petra on August 7, 2010 at 6:14pm
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I felt really good afterwards, about myself. My heart was pounding pretty hard at first, but I just had to come out. Maybe because they were talking about another alopecian, and hey we gotta stick together. The place I work is really big and we have different shifts, so some of the people know, but most don't. Some even thought that I was going through chemo at one time, since I have had regrowth and then fall out.
Norm, it did cross my mind. I actaully invisioned just pulling off my wig and watching their jaws hitting the floor. That would of been priceless :-)
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Comment by Tony McCarthy on August 7, 2010 at 6:36pm
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I usually wear a wooly hat to hide my baldness from friends and locals...even tho its obvious that I have no eyebows and eye lashes and therefore no hair .
I started a new job recently about 20 miles from where I live and decided to leave the hat at home.Nobody seems to mind at all and everyone is really friendly , tho I dont think any of them really understand alopecia.
The thing is Im perfectly happy to be hatless at work , but would be terrified to walk into my local pub without my hat on
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Hi Tony, It is funny how we are better with "strangers" than those close to us. Probably because they are the ones that can hurt us more. Plus you started the job without the hair, so no one is walking around puzzled. I did the same thing when I was working on my journey. I started at a new gym with a bandanna on, so everyone there knew me that way. After a while if I would deliberately, shower and wear the wig when I was leaving the gym, so that I got use to people know the 2 sides of me. But it was easier when they saw the "no hair" me first.
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That's so true Cheryl, about how we are better with "strangers" than those close to us. A hardly ever wear a wig anymore except when I go to work, the rest of the time it's either a scarf or a bandana. Today my husband is going to a concert with a couple of his friends from work, since we both work at the same place and I know these guys too I wasn't too sure what to do,( they were coming to the house so I could play chauffeur} wear the wig or wear a scarf. My husband said I should do whatever I felt comfortable doing.....well unfortunately I wore the wig.....well maybe next time. Yet, I feel totally comfortable at my yoga class wearing a bandana.
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Great husband! For leaving the choice with you. Because it was him who probably would have had to field the questions, after you dropped them off.
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Yes, he has always been supportive. Never batted an eyelash when we started going out and I told him I had alopecia. Just shows that there are a lot of good men out there that don't care about hair, but the person.
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