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Comment by Fatimah on May 16, 2013 at 8:21am

i can totally relate to angela's comment , thats exactly whats happening with me & my bf.. hes such an amazing person but i still want my hair back coz ive been going thru this for 6 years and its hard coz theres so many judgemental n cruel ppl out there,, my friend had alopecia for 10 years and she felt there was no hope anymore coz of what the doctors and hair specialists told her, then one day she changed her whole diet n started being healthy, excercised often and did yoga and within 8 months she got all her hair back and it never fell again. my diet is poor and i'm not fit but im going to follow her example coz now im getting older and i dont want to feel weird wen i g0 for sleepovers and have to remove my wig or when people look at me with pity, its not fair but anyways i hope this tip helps url :)

Comment by Lavonia on May 15, 2013 at 8:28pm

I say just be who you are and tell them right away. never hide it that just makes everything worse then it need to be. Honesty is the best policy in this situation. trust me you will find that special person if you stay true to yourself. You are really pretty too. Remember how you handle the. situation speaks volumes of your personality and self esteem. so say it loud and say it proud i am bald and beautiful. maybe you can start the conversation off with wearing a tee shirt. that has that logo on it. hope i helped some

Comment by Carmen Dayhoff on May 13, 2013 at 9:33am

My answer to this problem has been online dating. When you do online dating you simply describe yourself in a profile, add pictures, etc. well I talk bout Alopecia in my profile, mention that I have no issue whatsoever with questions and comments. In my pictures I have me sportin' different hair styles (various wigs) posted, scarves, and even bald. I get compliments all the time. I talk to some really nice looking, sexy men. I have also been approached by men who have Alopecia and just want to talk about it, or they have a friend or family member with it.
If online dating doesn't float ur boat, how about hanging professionally done, beautiful bald pics of yourself in your home? When he comes over its a conversation piece. Asking (person of interest) to "tell you something bout them that you probably don't yet know, even something uncomfortable" (these are my fave conversations). He tells then U tell. When u tell do positive, negative, positive. Be sexy bout it. ie He tells u his thing. Now it's ur turn... Start with, well I have the worlds smoothest legs and I've never shaved a day in my life. That will blow his mind. Then be imformative. Tell him matter of factly bout Alopecia being an auto immune condition. It's closely related to Celiac and Diabetes. Use the word "condition" instead of "disease". It causes you to lose ur hair bc ur body mistakenly fights against it as if the follicles are something ur immune system needs to protect u from. There's no shame!!!!! We r NOT at fault. Be confident. If u have a cold u wouldn't be ashamed. Alopecia, tho a little more permanent, is much like such situation.

Comment by madelyniris on May 13, 2013 at 6:21am

I understand! I am 19 years old and started my first year of college this past year. It is weird being in a new environment where a lot of people don't know I don't have hair, or if I don't wear hair, they just sort of stare. 
Dating has been difficult here, but I've learned that in order for me to feel comfortable with the person, it is BEST for me to meet them without hair. I fully endorse meeting and dating bald, that way there are no ifs, ands, and buts. I love having alopecia, and the person that I fall in love with should too!
And the coolest thing about the boys I've dated so far-- they have gotten the biggest kick outta me not having hair. They love kissing me on top of my head and, many times, they call it "badass." I like to think we all are ;) 

Either way, love is love, and if you love yourself, you deserve someone who will love you just the same.

Comment by Le sage on May 13, 2013 at 4:41am

From your picture you look beautiful with or without hair. I do not know why you worry.

Comment by Lenin on May 12, 2013 at 10:19pm

Hello, I read your post, and when you have alopecia, not only dating is extremely complicated, but everything in your life becomes impossible to do, because you don't have any self confidence. I've had AU for 5 years now, and in the beginning it was so hard to do everything, but confidence comes along with the time you need to understand what happens and accept yourself as you are, it becomes something easier as you don't think about it all the time and people doesn't notice anymore because you are more confident. I think it may be harder for women because it's more evident but Alopecia is something that each person struggles with in a different way. But I think definitely time is the most important healer.

Greetings from Ecuador, sorry my bad english

Comment by Marie on May 10, 2013 at 6:21pm

My experiences echo yours, Shelly: It doesn't matter to men as much as one might guess.  I love the idea about showing up with different hair and using that as a conversation starter.  Brilliant.  

Comment by Shelly on May 10, 2013 at 2:31pm

Dating is beyond being a nervous wreck!!  I am dating, and it feels good to be free from hiding it.  I will tell you it wasn't EASY but it is worth the work to get to that point.  The first person I started dating I waited until I was sure he felt that a women's beauty is on the inside and then it was safe place to let my guard down.

The current person I'm dating I came out of the chute with some "sass" on so, I purposely messed with his mind.  I wore a completely different wig the next day when I saw him.  I put the alopecia on him & asked him if he noticed anything different about me.  He did notice the different hair & then I explained why I was wearing it.....it was well received!! 

After sometime of dating we were out at a bar dancing & I decided to take my wig off (go "topless" as I call it!) & he danced with me, held me, etc. I asked him after if he was embarrassed to be seen dancing with a bald women & he said "no, not at all, why would I be"?   It was very liberating!   We've talked since then about me being bald & he said the bald ting is "your issue, not mine because it doesn't matter to him". So, what did I learn? The ball is my court, so I say, game on bald girl, let's play!!"

Comment by Ann Wilson on May 10, 2013 at 2:24pm

I went many years after my divorce without a man in my life.   I was very busy and not concerned about it.   I met a man at church about 3 years ago.   He accepts me just as I am, UA and all.   He was definitely worth waiting for!

Comment by CME on May 9, 2013 at 8:56pm

I understand your feelings perfectly. I have had AU just over 30 years. Today I am married for almost 10 years, but previously also had these questions in the beginning of relationships. With a certain maturity of age, I see  in a slightly different. Think of how many people there are today in this world with deficiencies (physical, visual and other), people with bad habits, different cultures. What matters in a relationship? Physical appearance alone?  The difference in culture or habits seem more problematic. I know we live in a world that goes through a protocol. Not having hair is apparently being outside this protocol. But think of a man with bad breath, who eats with his mouth open, that has customs and culture very different from you, even though this man is beautiful, with hair and look perfect.
  We are human beings like any other, with or without hair. This fact does make a difference in a life together? Should not do. If it does, I see that was not to be mature and deep enough to last. We need to believe in ourselves. We need to give more value to ourselves. The lack of hair does not take away or competencies and value.

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