Dating and alopecia

I have had Alopecia for over 20 years, since I was a little girl. So I consider myself a "seasoned veteran" of this disease. For the most part I'm pretty use to it. The unpredictable nature, wearing wigs, the occasional explanation to someone, etc. However, one thing that had always given me anxiety was dating with my alopecia.

I thought that would never be an issue again once I got married, however I find myself back in the dating world and the anxiety is right there with it. Not only is dating difficult to begin with-(especially when you're a parent) but adding the extra layer of.. "oh, by the way.. I lose my hair." to the equation and I almost rather avoid it all together.

When I first met my husband I was not wearing a wig but had patches that I could cover. Since then I now wear a wig full time as my patches are too big.

I find the idea of explaining my wig to someone is more stressful then just saying I have Alopecia. I'm not exactly sure why but perhaps because I'm hiding it and in order to reveal it I need to take off my "mask" (wig).

How do you explain this to someone not only new but that your interested in? How do you determine the right time to bring it up, not knowing how it will be handled? How does one deal with the anxiety Alopecia brings when dating?

You would think I would know these things since I have been through it once, but I find that despite being older, having been married, and growing up with this disease; it still wins at creating doubt and insecurities.

--------

AW: You may want to also check out the excellent "Third Date Rule" written by Debbi Fuller a few years ago.

Views: 1974

Comment

You need to be a member of Alopecia World to add comments!

Join Alopecia World

Comment by Dame on May 7, 2013 at 9:05am

Thank you for your comment. You're very right that it is nerve wrecking!! I'm sorry that you have had to face this tough road as well but I think you're right in telling them earlier than later. It is hard because I don't want it to define me either but it is who I am and I can't change it nor control it as you well know.

Comment by mmmm on May 7, 2013 at 12:27am

I can totally understand what you are going through. I too am back in the dating scene after getting divorce. It's already hard enough to find someone when you are being a single mother, but with alopecia... It's nerve wrecking and very stressful. I'm having a really difficult time dealing with dating. I think after 3 or 4 dates, you may want to reveal about Alopecia as you don't wanna get deep into him if he would not accpet you as who you are..which was my case and was not successful unfortunately.. :( I was very afraid to tell as I did not want alopecia to define me, but rather wanted him to know who I was.

Disclaimer

Any mention of products and services on Alopecia World is for informational purposes only; it does not imply a recommendation or endorsement by Alopecia World. Nor should any statement or representation on this site be construed as professional, medical or expert advice, or as pre-screened or endorsed by Alopecia World. Alopecia World is not responsible or liable for any of the views, opinions or conduct, online or offline, of any user or member of Alopecia World.

© 2025   Created by Alopecia World.   Powered by

Badges  |  Report an Issue  |  Terms of Service