Didnt expect that to happen. I spend more and more time walking and carrying on thru life as a bald woman. And mostly I succeed. Today was the first time that I went into the mall without any head covering and I held my head high and didnt care about the stares I received or what others might have thought. And I did receive some odd looks, but I was ok with it. On a Friday afternoon, the mall as expected was pretty busy and still I chose to go in and continue with my shopping.
After I left I stopped by my workplace, to pick up my tips and to drop off a couple of coffees for my friends. It was there that I was taken aback by what happened next. I knew I was a bit nervous. I always wear a scarf at work. The first person I saw was my favorite security guard. He always has a hug for me. The moment I spoke to him, I started to shake and then the tears were forming. He let me into the back office to put down the coffees and my friends were sitting right there. Now my friends have seen me bald and Im comfortable with them. And I think that is why I was able to let go and the tears started to fall.
I just didnt think that my reaction to walking into work would have been like that, which only added to the growing anxiety that I was feeling. Sitting here writing my thoughts on my experience today, I know the hard part is over. I walked in and out composure intact, for the most part. I know the next time I walk in, it will be better, not saying that Im ready to do a shift without my scarf but then Im ok with that. Besides the air conditioning in that building I know 100% that I wouldnt be able to do entire shift without a scarf and I really do enjoy my scarfs. In fact today at the mall I got more accessories for my scarfs. Didnt find any scarfs that I liked tho.
thanks for listening to my ramblings