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Don't let alopecia define you - let it be the thing that sets you free!
When I found my first bald patch, I was devastated. As if I wasn't struggling enough, now I was losing my hair?
In hindsight, it's no wonder I developed Alopecia. At the time, I was working 50+ hour weeks as a Sous Chef and running myself into the ground. I was freshly broken up from the guy I'd thought was ''the one'', dealing with the recent death of my beloved Dad, didn't have a place to live, was struggling with an eating disorder which had resurfaced amongst the stress, and was desperately worried for my Mum who was extremely depressed. I'm pretty sure if I hadn't gained Alopecia, I would have ended up very ill.
I'd recently started seeing someone and was terrified he'd leave me. I also worked in a very male-dominated environment and in a very public setting, so trying to cover the patches became all-consuming. I'd gone from being someone the guys would joke and flirt with, to someone who got concerned looks and avoided. I pinned this all on the Alopecia, not the fact that in all likelihood, people were just concerned about me. I cried a lot most days. I'd get on with my work and then just crumble as soon as I'd finished. I wanted to sleep for a few months and to wake up ''fixed'', like nothing had ever happened.
One day just after I'd broken up for the Christmas holiday, I decided enough was enough and shaved my hair off. It was one of the most liberating things I'd ever done and a revelation in more than one sense - where I'd thought I only had a few patches, with my hair shaved off I could now see the full extent of the Alopecia. The patches spanned the whole of my head and it looked like a kind of punky map of the world. I giggled at my reflection the entire time I was shaving it off, I looked insane! It was the first time I'd laughed like that in ages.
My next decision (with the back up of a couple of wonderful friends) was to quit work and to take some time out from the mayhem of work. I enrolled on a ''WWOOF-ing'' program, whereby you go to other countries and help out on farms in exchange for food and accomodation. I took on a new part-time job and concentrated hard on saving pennies to go away in May. When April arrived, along with it came the sun - and the heat. I could no longer stand wearing my wooly hat I'd been using to cover my head, and wearing wigs made me feel wrong somehow - like I was ashamed to cover who I was. So, I decided to go bald in public for the first time.
I felt completely naked and vulnerable and was sure everyone would be staring and pointing, but to my surprise and relief, people just went about their day. A few people gave sideways glances, and if I'm honest, I'd probably have done the same. But that's what I've come to realise - everyone has their own shit. While you're running around in one direction, worrying about what everyone thinks, everyone else is running around in other directions - some happy, some sad, some with illness, some without, but none of us truly know what the hell we are doing here and that is something I've taken great comfort in. We're all in this together.
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Comment by Sunflower25 on February 14, 2014 at 6:59pm
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:)
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Comment by Rory on February 26, 2014 at 9:32am
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Impressive you should be proud of your self to be where you are now! :)
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Comment by Tim Irvine on February 26, 2014 at 3:24pm
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Powerful. I think you nailed it too. I was much the same way. I had Alopecia from age 5, and all of it fell out, then was able to grow nearly all of it back for almost 8 years. When it began to fall out again, I shaved it and went with it. Like you, I felt more free than anything else. It's a hard sell to someone who hasn't taken to (A) accepting it, and (B) learned to block out the world and be who they are. I hope more people can follow your courageous example and find the freedom. Alopecia is not who we are. There is so much more to us than that. :)
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Comment by Kathleen on February 26, 2014 at 3:47pm
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I wish I could be like you guys. I'm too vain. I think I look a lot prettier with hair then without so I always wear the wig. (I've had AU since I was 16 - 36 years)
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Comment by Gail on February 26, 2014 at 3:59pm
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Alopecia DOES define us. I don't go through a day without feeling uncomfortable, self-conscious, afraid to even think about a relationship.
I look ugly and like my older brother without a wig and would never, ever think to go anywhere without it. I am middle-aged, people DO judge you in life, in the business world.
I started with areata in 2005, by 2009 I stopped trying to hide it and cut my remaining hair off and started wearing wigs. I am pretty much totalis now, with only a couple large patches of my original hair. I buzz it every 4-6 weeks. It sucks, I hate it, it has totally altered my life.
Liberating? No. Imprisoning? Yes.
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In my case,Being very open humorous & candid & unashamed of my 24/7 wig wearing is so liberating & freeing!
Even my employer is very supportive despite him never knowing which wig I am going to wear that day,as I have a large diverse collection. I have told just about everyone I deal with about my alopecia and 24/7 wig wearing & they are really supportive understanding & accepting ! Its a non-issue meaning I & they have no problem with it,they are used to it and don't usually react at all to seeing me in so many different wigs!
Being almost bald for me was like a prison sentence,locked up handcuffed,ashamed scared,antisocial,
afraid,uncomfortable,feeling like I wanted to hide & run away. I've been in wigs 24/7 for about 4 years now
and can't believe how I made an immediate sudden transition to 24/7 full wigs & had no problem adapting.
It's part of who I am & my routine & I decorate my ''wiggies'' love getting hair barrettes combs clips ornaments etc soooooo fun & enjoyable,my wigs are my ''hair'' & its heavenly to have them! I even sleep & swim & do hottub jacuzzi in wigs,plus tennis & golf too, I even ponytail my ''hair'' sometimes.its a part of me.
Almost all my wigs are custom sewing altered & dermafixed so they stay on my head rock solid,but comfy.
I don't ''feel'' the wigs as I am wearing them,it's so natural normal for me. -Marsha
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Marsha...do you mind me asking where u purchase your wigs??
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To Tckava:
I purchase most of my wigs used,like ebay craigslist & from a lady I know who occasionally sells them used privarely to me. And I do also occasionally buy new final clearance demo display wigs from a local store here in florida,
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Comment by Donna on February 26, 2014 at 6:35pm
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I've been bald 7 yrs. I did it the easy way out..walked into a barber shop with dred locks, came out shaved head. I did not want to suffer with losing it bit by bit. It was one of the most courageous moments in my life. It was a shock to my family, but they supported my new look..and I love them that much more for it. My husband was there foremost. Honestly the freedom of not having to EVER worry about hair again--to always have the purrfect hairstyle with some funky earrings-- has been the icing on the cake!
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Comment by MJ Wrick on February 26, 2014 at 7:57pm
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When I was younger I used to love trying new looks and I've tried to reconnect with that and enjoy wigs, though when I'm dealing with horses or hard work, my ball cap is as far as it goes:p
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