Alopecia World
www.alopeciaworld.com
Down in the Dumps, Feeling Alone.
Is this feeling of loss and sadness ever going to go away?
90% of the time I feel completely accepting and fine with having female pattern baldness. In fact, I was beginning to feel pretty damn good about myself and the situation, regardless of the fact that I'll be chopping my hair off shortly and am still losing clumps every night. But then today one of my friends sent me a picture of me three years ago - back when I had my full head of hair and was in all my glory - and an immense sense of sorrow came over me. It wasn't that long ago that I wasn't going through this crap. My life seemed so much happier back then. Now it feels as if the evil hair monster is forever hiding in the closet of my mind. I hate feeling this way. I wish I didn't grieve so much for my hair, but I do. I looked really freaking good with all my hair on my head (all modesty just flew right out the window there) and now I feel like I'll never measure up again. Like I won't look nearly as good, hot, pretty, or sexy if I keep my thinning hair, if I wear a wig, or if I shave it all off. I'm so afraid that the guys I like in life won't feel the same for me. And I much fear that no guy is going to be attracted to me or think I stand out once the pathetic remains of my hair are gone. It sucks to feel that I looked better at 14 than I do at 19. Especially since the only thing that's gotten worse is my hair. My body's gotten better, my face has matured a bit, and I've gotten a better sense of who I am - so why does all of this feel useless now that most of my hair is gone?
This sucks. And I wish my mother wasn't always up my ass talking about my hair either. She's like a squawking parrot who refuses to quit. And she always makes the biggest deal over hair - more than anybody else I've ever known - so that only makes the problem seem that much bigger in my mind. I just hope this isn't the end for me. I hope I still attract guys the same as I always did, even if I'm shaved or wigged. I hope hair doesn't make or break me, physically.
Help.. =/
Alexandra
90% of the time I feel completely accepting and fine with having female pattern baldness. In fact, I was beginning to feel pretty damn good about myself and the situation, regardless of the fact that I'll be chopping my hair off shortly and am still losing clumps every night. But then today one of my friends sent me a picture of me three years ago - back when I had my full head of hair and was in all my glory - and an immense sense of sorrow came over me. It wasn't that long ago that I wasn't going through this crap. My life seemed so much happier back then. Now it feels as if the evil hair monster is forever hiding in the closet of my mind. I hate feeling this way. I wish I didn't grieve so much for my hair, but I do. I looked really freaking good with all my hair on my head (all modesty just flew right out the window there) and now I feel like I'll never measure up again. Like I won't look nearly as good, hot, pretty, or sexy if I keep my thinning hair, if I wear a wig, or if I shave it all off. I'm so afraid that the guys I like in life won't feel the same for me. And I much fear that no guy is going to be attracted to me or think I stand out once the pathetic remains of my hair are gone. It sucks to feel that I looked better at 14 than I do at 19. Especially since the only thing that's gotten worse is my hair. My body's gotten better, my face has matured a bit, and I've gotten a better sense of who I am - so why does all of this feel useless now that most of my hair is gone?
This sucks. And I wish my mother wasn't always up my ass talking about my hair either. She's like a squawking parrot who refuses to quit. And she always makes the biggest deal over hair - more than anybody else I've ever known - so that only makes the problem seem that much bigger in my mind. I just hope this isn't the end for me. I hope I still attract guys the same as I always did, even if I'm shaved or wigged. I hope hair doesn't make or break me, physically.
Help.. =/
Alexandra
-
Comment by Jeff W on August 16, 2009 at 11:34pm
-
Alexandra,
Sorry to hear your a little down. It's only natural to feel sad at times over something like this, and it's not so easy to make the sadness go away sometimes. Like any loss or disappointment we may encounter in life this won't go away over night, but time does resolve these things (sometimes slowly) and eventually we make peace with the hand we've been dealt and refocus on the good things in our lives.
Now trust me on this one - your hair may change, but I assure you will still be every bit as beautiful, hot, pretty, sexy as ever. Different, maybe, but no less. Sure you can have beautiful hair, but hair's not what makes you beautiful. I've seen several different hair styles in your pictures, and you look amazing no matter what you do to your hair. And even if you were wearing the sexiest hair on the planet I think you'd be surprised how many men would be so focussed on your face (for example your gorgeous eyes) that the hair would be incidental. Again - trust me - there will be plenty of guys who will be attracted to you. Maybe not all the ones you'd like to be, but that's pretty much the case for everybody.
Remember your own profile slogan - "Live Passionately! "
Be Happy!
Jeff
-
Comment by Lee on August 17, 2009 at 3:06am
-
Im sorry you're down...I know how ya feel. Everytime I go through my old pictures on myspace or something...I get really sad when I see the ones where I have hair and eyelashes. Eyelashes are the worst, honestly. I look different than I used to...and Im not sure Ill ever get used to it. I guess the best advice I can give is....no, u are not going to be 100% happy all the tim ewith it...it sucks...and greiving is natural. Try to keep yourself happy, and feeling good. Eventually...you wil lthink about your hair less and less. Doesnt mean it wont hurt...but you wont feel the pain as often. You will move on. Im still in the process. Gotta say...Im 1000 times better than I was a year ago ; ) You will be too...time wil lhelp.
-
Comment by Jodi on August 17, 2009 at 2:06pm
-
it comes in waves for me too. the saddness. most of the time i am fine, but sometimes... it wears you down. why should you have to deal with this condition when no one else does? i feel you. acknowledge that you are down today but you will be fine tomorrow. you will be a more resiliant person for dealing with all this. it has helped you to see the world through different eyes and there is value in that. you are a beautiful girl. you will find a companion who will love you. just be patient.
p.s. ask your mom to cut it out. you don't need that.
-
Comment by pamela s mcnurlen on August 18, 2009 at 3:38am
-
You are beautiful, and you will soar, The guy's will be attracted to the you inside, I have been where you are but you have caring family members here. I had a mom like yours, and you have to learn to block them and their comments, or they will bring you down. I wish you happiness, and lot's of love. BELIEVE IN YOUR SELF! : )
-
Comment by Thomas on August 20, 2009 at 2:46am
-
You are absolutly beautifull!!!! .......Wow!!
-
Comment by Marina on August 20, 2009 at 8:22am
-
This is NOT the end of anything girl!!!! Your story is almost the same as mine! My hair loss started 3 years ago when I was 21 and I had thick, beautiful, waist-long brown hair (my pride!!!). The first dermathologist I saw couldn't believe what I said, he just repeated "you have a lot of beautiful hair!" and he eventually referred my to a psychiatrist becaused he manteined I was pulling out my hair myself! It took a year, a very short cut and most of all another dermathologist to get my FBD diagnosed. I'm on therapy with minoxidil since then, and during the first year I could see some results.... so I did my worst mistake, I let my hair grow again and now they are more than bra-strap long (only because I'm an oriental dancer, you see how stupid I am)....but very empty and they are falling as they never did. I absolutely understand you, I share your fears. Now I'm considering giving up everything and shaving it all off..... thanks God I've been blessed with a supportive partner.
But I can tell you that you are totally beautiful (your pics are there to show!!!)... it is not a matter of attracting boys for what you are inside (this must happen with or without hair): you are so beautiful OUTSIDE that you don't need any hair to attract someone! of course there are "boys" who won't date a bald woman just beacause they're interested more in what their friends would think than in what they really like, just like there are boys who won't date fat or "not fashionable" girls...... but we are interested in MEN, not boys, right????
Comment
© 2024 Created by Alopecia World.
Powered by
You need to be a member of Alopecia World to add comments!
Join Alopecia World