Him: "Girl you are wearin' that bald head, is that for a reason or just for style."

Me: First I give him the side eye, then I reply "its because I look so good wearing it, as you just pointed out."  I continue what I am doing and pay him no extra attention.

Him:  "Haha, your sassy; I like you!  Do you shave it yourself?"

Me: Thinking to myself, really dude?!?!  "I don't have to shave it"  I decide to take the educational route and tell him about alopecia. . . .  This finally made him go away.

I have some version of that conversation about 3-5 times a week with all kinds of people-- young and old.  Guess I should appreciate the question more than the comment I get from others that naturally assume I have cancer.  Or the people that feel like it is okay actually reach up and touch my head!  How rude is that!!!

Thankfully God has given me a kind heart, patience, and charisma to cope with and recover from these situations with ease.  It hasn't always been that way and I know that it probably isn't that way for most.  I hope that sharing this helps you to deal with it too.

You Stay Strong, Keep Up the Fight 

These are the usually the little old ladies that assume you have cancer and they mean you no warm or disrespect; they just want to share some encouragement with you.  Most of the time I just smile, say thank you to them and keep it moving.  If they want to drum up conversation I will redirect the attention to them by saying "I appreciate your encouragement are you a surviver?"  Usually, they are or someone close to them was impacted.  It is very much like a club and your bald head makes you an honorary member.  Asking this simple question makes the conversation more about them and a lot less awkward when you let them know you don't have cancer but that you are happy they or their loved one is doing so much better in their battle with it.

The Bald Guy Smiling and Saying "I like your hair!"

I usually reply with a big smile, "what hair? There better not be any hair up there, else I gotta go get a refund"  This diffuses the embarrassment for the people with in ear shot of him pointing out the obvious (usually an innocent bystander he calls wife).  Once a guy said something like that to me and his wife slapped him so hard across the back of the head he dropped the popcorn he was holding!  I decided it was best for me to just keep walking on that one. . . .

A couple of weeks back an older gent in Sam's Club said something similar to me, his wife was at his side and I just smiled and said, "thank you" (I wasn't feeling particularly social at the time).  He then proceeded to carry on a conversation with his wife about how nice my head was shaped and how African American Woman have the confidences to pull something like that off (he was white).  I was so taken a back my the comment I stopped on walking on the aisle and pretended to shop for cereal.

The Perv That Thinks It Is Okay To Touch You.


These are by far the worse to deal with, but they are few and far between-- thank goodness, else I might end up in a court room pleading my case.

These are men who's misguided admiration for you and your looks made them take that left at Aberkerkie!  For them I serve up my most serious "are you crazy or just stupid!"  Depending on my mood it may be a lot more colorful.  The desired effect is to shook the H.E double hockey sticks our of them so that they will not do it again to you or the next unsuspecting woman to follow you.  Most will scurry off before you finish your speech, some are paralyzed by fear or embarrassment and you can really unload on them!

I hope that this post brought a smile to your face and gave you some options to consider if you're ever faced with these circumstances.  If you have stories, I would love to hear them too!

 

Views: 1116

Comment by Mur on December 10, 2015 at 12:29pm

ALL OF THIS HAPPENS TO ME ALL THE TIME!!

Not to mention the little kid walking with a parent.. "mom/dad look she doesn't have hair and she's a girl"

I am happy it doesn't bother me.

Comment by CinnamonLuvs on December 10, 2015 at 12:37pm

I luv your story!!!

Comment by Janet on December 10, 2015 at 10:06pm
I so appreciate and agree with your observations and comments. Especially your return question to someone thinking you have cancer. Usually people that ask are cancer survivors or know someone who is. When I've responded, "no, I don't have cancer," I almost feel like I need to apologize. Now I have a much better response....thank you. Janet
Comment by Sharalexis on December 12, 2015 at 4:03am

Girl...u ain't never lied :) I have had alopecia since 1985 and I could go on but u summed It up!! Sharon Blount

Comment by CaliforniaGirl on December 12, 2015 at 6:35pm

"your looks made them take that left at Aberkerkie!"  LOL I love your sense of humor! :)  I believe some people are just curious to see a bald woman out in public. If we're honest with ourselves, bald women in public are not the norm. However, there are inconsiderate, insensitive A-holes out there who don't bother to think before they speak.

You ooze confidence and are gorgeous to boot! Go on with your bad self!!  :)

Comment by Pat on December 28, 2015 at 9:24pm

I wish I had your confidence but Ive always been a little sensitive about my hairless...but I've come a long way and although I wear a wig when out and about I don't fret so much about it. Well done on excellent responses to those who make comments!

Comment by alopeciapei on December 30, 2015 at 9:52am

Great post!

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