Comment by Tallgirl on May 24, 2011 at 11:00pm

I think you should do it: just take a vacation somewhere or create a vacation out of your yard for a whole week. Totally redo or remake SOMETHING, even if it is your entertainment area. We don't get to go lounge in beauty salons or gab about hair like the rest of the gals, and the anger builds. There is a whole segment of womanhood and bonding that we miss over the years. I totally think it is worth a week of eating chocolate, drinking fine wine, moving furniture and changing (controlling) some other fun or important aspect of life (Not hubby. He sounds too nice.). It sucks to lose control of the one thing even poor girls can control or flaunt in their lives. When I had lost a lot over the years, one friend who hadn't seen me in awhile mentioned that I had "lost my power." She was right. So, I got p.o.ed (over one situation, I took it out on a pillow and, later, a steering wheel...poor things!) and went back to college, fought for my back child support owed to me, eliminated some toxic relationships, started refusing events that didn't fit my life, bought myself a car and became "blond." Nyah nyah, world.

Go get angry...it may get you moving in a surprising direction. You deserve a scream or two.

Comment by Libby on May 25, 2011 at 8:54am

Ditto what Tallgirl said. You have every right to feel what you are feeling; it is part of the process in dealing with alopecia. For me, I realized that I couldn't control my hair but there were other aspects of my life I could control. I am AU and have been for years....that means there is a gooooooood chance my hair won't come back. I started taking care of myself in other ways-facials, pedicures and manicures took the place of going to the hair salon. Sure, it's not the same ( and it hasn't been easy by any means) as having and fixing my hair but by doing these things I am telling myself that I am worth it, with or without hair.

Comment by Bald and Fabulous AKA Terri on May 25, 2011 at 10:53am

I know how you feel, for just the other day I was wishing for my hair back. I finally decide to shave the last wisps away in September and have been comfortable with my baldness for awhile now. I even like my head, i like the shape, the feel and who i see in the mirror. but the other day while watching tv and seeing girls flipping their hair around, i felt a little said. it only got worse when i was looking at old pics of me. But i tried to remind myself that we can look back but we must not linger. The future is too bright and has so many hopeful possibilities. Stay strong and remember this too will pass.

Comment by Sofia on May 25, 2011 at 11:20am

I completely understand... For a while it was so hard that I was even skipping classes because I was tired of people asking why I always wore so many hats. I just stayed locked in my dorm room everyday. I stopped working out because I was afraid that my bandanna would fall off in the middle of yoga or running. Some days, I called in to work sick because I dreaded donning my (obvious) wig again. Tallgirl is right, you deserve a vacation.

Your hair is growing back though? Is this the first time you've had alopecia? Maybe you could do something wild, like dye the short hair or wear hair accessories! I used to buy so many hair accessories like headbands and ribbons and dress up at home... it gave me hope, and it helped me wait.

Comment by zeida on May 25, 2011 at 4:41pm

Thank you. Sophia I had alopecia 10 years ago, but did not loose all of my hair. This time starting in June 2010 it started falling off. I did not go to the doctor right away like I did 10 years ago. I was dealing with other issues in the family, so I let myself go. By the time November came around all my hair was gone. That is when I went to the doctor. My thyroid was way out of control and they had to change my depression medication. I also started getting the shots for the hair growth. Now my hair is coming back, but it's taking forever. That is why I called myself a spoiled brat, because I know that some people on this site will never get their hair back. I have some growth and hope that it might fill in every where. I posted some pics of the hair growth go look. I was just down yesterday, so I went off the deep end. Tallgirl, Libby, Terri, and Sophia thank you for giving me your time and words. It helps a lot.

Comment by BTB (John) on May 26, 2011 at 12:39am

Every point you made is valid we are obsessed in western society with appearance I know I am I spend a fortune on the gym, tailor made clothes, and yes new teeth a hair transplant etc etc etc don't beat yourself up have a good 'bitch session" it is good for us I think. You never heard spoiled brat till you hear me bitch about stuff, just ask Pat she has seen me in my state of self pity. John

Comment by Cheryl, Co-founder on May 26, 2011 at 2:48am

Tallgirl, you always inspire me to want to do something ;). I have played with the idea of making my balcony a small garden (even though I really suck with plants).

Zeida, someone once told me that yes, things may be "worse" for others. But, if I hit my finger with a hammer, I still say "Ouch". I think it is the same thing here. We are bound to go through emotions as we deal with the growth and loss of hair. Nothing that we need to justify away as petty.

The only thing we need to do, is to feel the feelings but also find a way to eventually dust ourselves off, get back up and keep walking. Thanks for honesty.

Comment by zeida on May 26, 2011 at 7:49pm

Aimee I get massages too. I love them I wear my bandana during the massage. The girls are really nice and there is one girl that has male pattern baldness. She doesn't talk about it but you can tell, cause her hair loss is just on the top. I live in Florida so really for now wigs are out of the question. It is way too hot. I am trying to take it one day at a time. I am not embarrassed about my hair loss it's just me looking in the mirror that upsets me. My friends and family members are very supportive. I am very lucky.

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