Alopecia World
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Have a little compassion
I have heard from people with Alopecia that we need to be strong. Stop being so weak minded and move on. It may be easier for those who have had to deal with this condition for most or all of their lives. Of course they have adjusted and moved on. For some, Alopecia is all they know. Let's have a little compassion for those that have went their whole lives with a full head of hair and then lost it within a few short months. In my eyes there is no comparison. I consider myself to be an extremely strong woman and may have handled my hairloss without grumbling and complaining but I do have my self pity days behind closed doors. Before we judge someone else and label them as weak minded, remember, that person you just called weak maybe someone who had a full head of hair for 36 years and within 3 months lost it all. That person is entitled to be a little sad. If any of you are having a "self pity" day and just need someone to vent to, I'm willing to be a non judgemental listening ear.
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Comment by MiNAH on July 24, 2011 at 5:13am
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Empathetic Hearts Listen and Hear!
There must and will be, a period of grieving, loss, sadness, most of all adjustment, time, and acceptance. There is that saying "ROME WASN'T BUILT IN A DAY". Sorrow needs empathy, and I personally feel, it demands compassion. As some can be ever so heartless and insensitive. The need to be understanding, a shoulder, an ear and a prayer to be strong within, which will assist one to regain self worth. To withstand the test of change, and an unfolding of self love, just the way we are. How can one be weak when the struggles dealing with hair loss are ones which enlighten us all. For each of us, there will be a mourning period, which takes great strength and perseverance. We shall endure, and within time we shall overcome our greatest fears. Yet ... nobody can tell us how to feel, or not to feel, we are all so alike, yet we are all so different and unique. Each of us have another way of seeing things, and understanding the roll we play in our own life. Let us walk through this process with praise and dignity. It is all a matter of time, so stop beating yourself up, expecting to have all the answers which only time allows....
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Comment by Michelle on July 24, 2011 at 1:54pm
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Love this post..
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Comment by Violet on July 24, 2011 at 4:36pm
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Unfortunately, having Alopecia doesn't take away our less-than-attractive qualities. We just end up without some or all of our hair, but many of us keep all of our judgemental tendencies. Although I'm not happy with how I look bald or happy with how many people treat me because of my hair loss, I am very glad that through this ordeal I've learned how to be more understanding and compassionate to other people. I don't wear a wig anymore (I used to), but that is my choice, and there is absolutely nothing wrong with wearing a wig! It doesn't make anyone weak. I'm sorry that comment you read was upsetting to you, but I'm glad it made you write this post. We can all stand to be a little more compassionate. :)
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Comment by Carol Sue Cain on July 24, 2011 at 7:53pm
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Hear! Hear! There is no stock prescription for dealing with grief. There is no standard timeline. It is a process.
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Judgmental Meaning and My Opinion
Alopecia has exposed the most beautiful, attractive, heartwarming, caring people at one given place. However ... as humans, we shall continue, and must be judgmental, as this is how we protect our self. This is how we establish opinions good, bad, negative or positive. Without being judgmental we wouldn't have any direction. This is why so many HUMANS use judgment to either see good in others and do right ... or the worst outcome, that HUMANS do bad, hurting others with cruelty. Through adversity, we gain wisdom, and hopefully able to interact with like minded people who we can relate with. Yet, that still does not change the ultimate nature of human beings. We are all going to encounter cross roads in our life, and at times become confused or emotional train wrecks. So there is a sensible way of being judgmental, yet when judgment or opinions turn to insult regarding health issues, criticism at the expense of another, I then find this to be ignorance, at it's worst. I have adapted ... also, I allow those frivolous and irresponsible statements bounce off. I still feel saddened that my own family doesn't really see me, and this I will have to live with for the rest of my life ... unless a light bulb goes off in their thinking pattern. In saying this, I have moved on from their lack of understanding, from my brothers perception and interpretation of who he thinks I am. For me it is not a concern how anyone sees or views me ... I guess the hopelessness lies within them, as I am unable to fight for their blindness!...
On another note: I would love to put on a wig for a short while, to see another image, another look and style. Yet in the end I will have to accept the reaction, as I'm allergic to the silicone of my freedom wig, which leaves me with a burning head. I have exactly the same with contact lenses ..."JUST CAN'T WIN".
What the heck ... I work with what I've got, rather than see what I don't have...
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Comment by LilyBell*Murphy'sLawLuvsMe on July 24, 2011 at 10:54pm
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Minah - very well said :)
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BTW minah I had no idea one could be allergic to the silicone in the freedom wig - as I myself am a "Princess and a Pea' kind of girl who seems to be allergic to just about everything from soaps to makeups to foods and many drugs this is good info to know.
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Comment by Cheryl, Co-founder on July 25, 2011 at 1:37am
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Michelle, all of us have been where you are and I think it does us good to remember that. I was 26 and still have not had alopecia 1/2 my life. The pain and hurt is real and you are rightfully grieving.
We started Alopecia World, so that people who are struggling can find support right away, when they need, any time of day. So I hope and pray that you find it here.
As for family give them time, I remember my sister telling me that she was not ready to see me without a wig. When I got my first wig and I was trying it on, my father let it slip out "Oh my God". A few years later when I was a maid-of-honor at a friends wedding and chose not to wear a wig. My father told my mom with tears that he was proud of how I walked in the room and said that I was beautiful.
I am not saying that things will for sure change all for the good, but sometimes people need to adjust to the new reality too. Hang in there girl, you are on your way. ;)
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Yes, Lily Bell, I am allergic to almost everything. Allegra/Telast, and cortisone creams help. I couldn't wear synthetic wigs as they would cause my eyes to itch, and my head to become inflamed. I am allergic to polypropylenes, acrylics, metals, fibers, foods, Many people with Alopecia have allergies, and many don't. After all, it is Immune related, and with my own theory ... I feel it could also be that we are predisposed environmentally. Just a HUNCH!
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Comment by Zetta on July 25, 2011 at 9:00am
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Thank you all for your comments that have all been a part of the process of my life.
I find myself saying to someone at least two or three times a week. "I am not making a fashion statement or starting a new trend" this is reality for me and I've decided to stop trying to make others feel better about me having alopecia, and enjoy the choices I now have since I've shaved, and the freedom that I now experience.
Some of the most important people in my life who should matter, have hurt me deeply, and I feel sorry for their inability, lack of capability, not having the means and the power to adapt to the changes that real life presents to each of us. I pray the example I have set for myself will somehow only encourage others as we all face life's adversity's... Adversity is where I have realized what I was made of, good and bad, but as MiNAH has stated, I've also gained wisdom. I believe that's what it's all about, coming out of those unlearned places to teach how to have a better quality of life through the way we live our lives.
I have so many great looks now! I have invested in some beautiful lace wigs, scarves, hats or just doin me. My Barber is the best! He encourages me to take it at my own pace and my daughter thinks I'm "tight!" She cracks me up!
Have A Blessed Day!
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