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Just last year my daughter, who is in elementary school, lost all of her hair. She's had alopecia areata for a few years but we always managed to cover her bald spots. All of a sudden all of her hair was coming out. It turned into alopecia universalis. At first she wore hats to school, then we got her a wig. Kids immediately made fun of her for not having hair and then for wearing the wig. When school got out for the summer she was so relieved. She had a great low stress summer but just started school again. This is only her second week of school and to date there have been three different incidents of kids making very mean comments about her wig and also about her lack of eyebrows and eyelashes. The school has been very good about helping as far as letting the kids know it's wrong to bully but I'm feeling so hopeless. It kills me to see her going through this and I really don't know what I can do to help her. I'm pretty sure she's going to need counseling but other than that what more can I do to help her get through all of this? I don't want to put her in homeschool and withdraw her from social interaction because I don't want her to be ashamed or feel like there is anything wrong with her. However, at the same time I don't know how much more I can take of watching her be sad because another person put her down. Any suggestions or anyone who's been through this I'd really appreciate some ideas! Thanks
Fiorina 161, Excellent point! Every child deserves an education. If the public schools cannot provide it in their facilities, then the child should be able to get it someplace else (private, cyber, homeschooling).
My son lost half his eyebrows at age 7 (2015). On May 4th 2016 he started losing his hair... today he has nothing left. Universalis. He is 8 and in grade 3. We live in Québec, Canada. I wish my son had some French speaking kids close by who he could share with. He feels so alone. There is no one.
Having said that, I try to concentrate on the fact that we ALL have a bunch of things we hate about our bodies but have to live with them. I get pimples every month... at age 41 it totally sucks, but I have grown to live with it. Some things are worse than others obviously, but you get the idea.
If he realises that we are all different and all have something we don't like, maybe he won't feel so alone. For some it is their heigth, their weight, their eye or hair colour. It is what makes us all unique.
My son won't talk to anyone about it except for me. On Sunday I suggested we buy him a private journal with a lock so that he could write anything he wants. (After going to 6 different stores we finally found 1 with playfull aliens on it rather than girly things) At school on Tuesday, they had a science day where they did experiments with hair static.... can't do it without any hair! He was extremely upset, but writing how he felt in his journal on Tuesday night was a great releif. He went to bed smiling after all.
He is in a different school this year, a close knight bunch of students it looks like too. I think he will be ok. Still, as he is NOT ready to talk about it, I chose to tell everyone on Monday night at a Parent teacher meeting so that the parents knew what to say if their kid asked them about the boy with no hair. He is not sick, it is not dangerous, nor contagious, purely esthetic....but it sucks and he feels bad about it.
He wears a bandana everyday, everywhere. We finally convinced him to get different colours and not just the bright orange he wore everyday this summer... It draws less attention if it matches his outfit. Plus, it is fun. Without it he says he feels naked, like if we removed his underwear. :(
We also try to laugh about it here and there. He went to a special camp 1 week and the list said to bring shampoo and a brush... I read out loud and looked at him...he laughed so hard we all started laughing too. Also, taking off bandaids no longer hurts. :)
Try and stay positive. Convince your daughter the nasty class mates are the ones with the problem. These people must suffer themselfes and must be unable to express their own pain, so they take it out on others. It is difficult now but it will make her much stronger than all the nasty people. Try and block them out. Like an "eject' button on a video machine. Eject the negative and Record the positive.
We may be going to the Alopeciapalooza in Maine, USA next June. There will be a bunch of alopecia kids there (CAP - Childrens Alopecia Project).
"He went to a special camp 1 week and the list said to bring shampoo and a brush... I read out loud and looked at him...he laughed so hard we all started laughing too…...
MelB, Thanks for the post. Ironically, just today as I was coming out of the supermarket, a young lady was inserting some sort of coupon in car shields. She was sweet, smiled, and handed me one as I was about to enter my car. The coupon was from a hair salon across the street, offering discounts for haircuts, coloring, and permanents. I smiled and said, "Thanks so much, but I don't have any hair". (I wear a wig, so I took it as a compliment that my wig was very realistic-looking). She gave me kind of a puzzled look and smiled, telling me to have a good day.
Your school has an assembly and shows all the students this video https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E1RwDayaqNU Maybe even email the parents or send the students parents information. More help https://www.naaf.org/advocate-for-change/advocacy-in-schools . I think these would have helped me very much when I was a child going through what your child is now. But back in the 80's this was not available yet. Try and keep her in school if possible. Having gone through this myself, I truly believe that this will do the trick. Kids are really more curious than cruel. Once they are informed of whats going on, they will understand and likely lay off.
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