Alopecia World
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"I like that hair cut"
So I know a lot of you get the cancer question a lot, but I keep getting the "I love your hair cut" and "wow, I would NEVER be that bold to cut off all my hair!" Well my hair was down to the middle of my back not too long ago, and if it was up to me, I wouldnt have this hair cut! A delivery driver just came to my work, NEVER seen him in my life, and the first thing he says is, "Hey...I like the hair cut". I guess I should feel good that people actually like me looking like Sinead O'Conner with bald spots, but I just don't really find it to be a compliment. Anyone else feel this way?
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Comment by Angie P on November 16, 2010 at 12:49am
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Hmmm, I can honestly say I don't understand this feeling. I suppose if the people making the compliments were being obviously snarky, I may be irritated for a split second, but hopefully I would just move on. (Perhaps after winging the closest blunt object at them. **grin**)
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Comment by Tamara on November 16, 2010 at 7:09am
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I think thats what it is. When they say it, it doesn't sound like that actually mean it. i've also been asked on more than 1 occation if Im lesbian. Which I have nothing against, but I'm not. I guess its really just tone in which people say it.
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Comment by Diana Carter on November 16, 2010 at 1:24pm
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Oh, I miss my long hair...and it doesn't matter who tells me they think I look better with it short. I can totally understand how you feel. I cut 13" off after I found my first bald spots, and so many ppl tell me they like it short...I feel like telling them, "Well, you like it NOW..just wait then, you should LOVE it later!" The first time someone told me they liked my hair better LONG..I cried! It was right after I had first been diagnosed. I gues, no matter if they like it, or dont, it IS what it IS...and I am the one that has to come to terms with it. It's that roller coaster we always talk about. Hugs!!!
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@Tamara: Ohhh, okay. That makes sense. Yeah, some folks just need to keep their mouth shut. They think they're being clever and don't realize their snarkiness is coming through loud and clear. And the lesbian thing **eyeroll**, yeah that takes the cake. I get that from time to time because I'm never married and have no kids. The things folks let come out of their mouths sometimes can be reeeaaallll interesting.
@Diana: Years ago I had people say how much they liked my hair. It was all good until I offered them the opportunity to pay for the upkeep. Oh, then it was a different story for sure. LOL! I stopped processing (and giving a d@mn) back in 1997-98. Hmmm, maybe that's why I'm not feeling the full brunt of this issue yet. In my mind, as far as my hair was concerned, I told people to "kick rocks" a long time ago.
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Comment by Louise Czuba on November 16, 2010 at 7:00pm
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I totally understand. I always wore my hair shoulder length or longer. When my alopecia areata got really bad this summer I had it cut short so it would look thicker. My mother said "Well it's about time you got in the 21st century and got rid of that high-school hair." I cried for days. She said it twice, the second time infront of my husband. My condition became severe a month ago and so now I am wearing a wig or headband fall most of the time. Every time I leave the house it's a topic for discussion. I just want to BE, I don't want to talk about my hair. I hate this stupid disease and I WANT MY HAIR BACK!!!!!!! I'm ag.ngry about this today, can you tell? Hugs, Tamara. You're not alone.
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Comment by Marie on November 16, 2010 at 7:48pm
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I totally understand that when people say they like your "hair cut" it makes you miss your long hair. But it might be that people are sincere and simply complimenting you -- even if they are random strangers. You have to admit that very, very short or shaved hair is not an every day style and it is extremely striking. Frankly, you look stunning and edgy; your look exudes a sexy confidence. I'd actually be surprised if people DIDN'T compliment you! I'm sure that most people are not trying to make you feel bad or be derogatory. I'll bet that if they knew they knew how you felt about it, they would hold their tongue. I'm the sort of person who complements strangers a lot. If a woman is wearing an awesome outfit, has a great smile, I usually complement her even if I don't know her. I figure that people should be know how great they look. If I saw you in a coffee shop, I'd probably tell you that you looked really hot, because you do.
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I think I would take the time to compliment you because It would not occur to me that you had Alopecia. I would assume you chose the look.
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(Man, you've got BLUE eyes!) :-)
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Comment by Cheryl, Co-founder on November 17, 2010 at 12:08am
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Tamara, I would just politely say “Thank you”. If you did not have alopecia and someone made a comment you probably wouldn’t think twice about accepting the compliment. So, if we want to live “normal” we also have to allow people to react normally.
Since alopecia, I see beauty in a whole different light and try not to miss an opportunity to appreciate and comment on unconventional beauty. Whether it is an older lady with grey hair and flawless skin, a teenager that someone would consider over weight or too “freckled”, a curvaceous woman who is truly wearing the dress she has on or some of the senior “mothers” at our church that truly know how to age gracefully and have a beauty no plastic surgeon could possibly emulate. And I can guarantee you if I passed by you, I would make it a point to get to you and tell you how beautiful you are.
Take the compliment as sincere. Let it lift your spirit and remind you that your true beauty is just shining through.
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Thank you everyone for the comments, I really appreciate it. I guess its just that half the time I get strange looks, and the other half its "I like your hair cut". Completely 2 different things. But thank you everyone! I just need to look on the brighter side of things!
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