Comment by Martin on July 4, 2009 at 10:51am

My personal opinion bud as a bloke is that i would prefer to be told after the first date as it would show me you respect me enough to be honest. would understandably be a shock at first but at least then if they know and have a prblem, you arent wasting your time getting to know them and getting too attached etc before telling them xx

Comment by panuelo girl on July 4, 2009 at 4:15pm

I have to agree with Susan. Much better to wait. You don't admit to other personal details on a first date, why go into the hair? It could force you to take things slower, too, which is a good thing. There are a lot of great guys out there and there's no reason to blame yourself for finding the shallow ones. I can't wait to hear about the right one when he comes along!

Comment by Tallgirl on July 4, 2009 at 4:16pm

Unless, of course, you just want to use HIM for the experience of having a real date after a long stint of lonliness. How else can a gal get a one-on-one with a male other than a date?

Comment by Kymm on July 7, 2009 at 9:42am

Yes I agree with Susan & Panuelo girl. I didn't tell my friend right away, I let him get to know me as a person. Then I told him about it, he asked to see it , I showed him. He said wow I thought that was all yours, we laughed about it. He helps me put my hair on and everything NOW !!! If the person that your talking to is a good person to start with. I belive he will still feel the same even after you tell/show him the truth. We have been together for 3 years now,it's great !! Hope this helps you out too !!!

Comment by Norm on January 29, 2010 at 2:15pm

Well, this is a tricky one, isn't it... it's a very personal decision and what's right for one won't be right for another.
I think it all hinges on what YOU think about your alopecia. If it's not a big deal to you - don't say anything, it doesn't matter. But if it IS a big deal (and I think it must be, or you wouldn't have asked the question!) - then I think you need to get it out of the way pretty quickly... it seems your self-esteem's taking a bit of a hit here, with guys walking away.
So, don't give them the chance to walk away - tell them before you even meet. That way you won't have the upset of meeting someone you actually fancy and having them react badly. If they don't like Bald You, that's their loss, but if they're OK with it, then you can meet and have a "proper" date - none of that worry hanging over you, which is bound to affect how you relate to someone.
At the end of the day, tho', it's what works for you.... Good Luck! x

Comment by Galvin on January 29, 2010 at 2:35pm

First dates are all about having fun and being entertained. I personally don't want
to hear a past history, or health problem on the first date. I want to focus on the
moment and enjoy it. There will always be time for long stories later if you can FUN
on the first date. Remember its his job to provide you with a good time.

Comment by MiNAH on February 4, 2010 at 9:22am

iN TWO MiNDS!
I agree with Susan as well, for this touches me very personally after living with Alopecia for 39 years. My response is otherwise different today than it was years ago, yet the feelings can still be compounded with a look, smirk, grin or uncomfortable reaction, by people who on purpose try to move away, look down, or to the side lowering their head. Peoples reaction when finding out, or seeing me without covering, was very uncomfortable for them and myself.
Their insecurity and response creates an AiR which sits Heavy, as Bad Energy.
IT'S ALL iN THE EYES...AS BODY LANGUAGE DOES NOT LiE!
This is also why I go without head covering, because the discomfort of telling is far worse than being up front.

EGY & IZAIAH DEMARCO FROM THE HOLLiWOODZ
www.myspace.com/holliwoodzmusic
I went to "Bronner Bros Hair Expo" iN Atlanta, and during the Expo I was stopped by people during the day asking me to take a picture with them.
So I OBLIGED!
For me, It was "ENLiGHTENiNG" as I just wish to show a comfortable attitude living without hair.
I was asked," HOW WOULD YOU FEEL iF YOUR HAiR GREW BACK"
This question is very hard, and most of us would say...HAPPY!
Yet this can present some thought for me and I can say, that it would be wonderful!
However, I am, and have been guided into another faze of life through this adversity.
So I cannot truly say...hair would change my way of life, as I see without a blind fold.
This answer would be best given, if and when "Hair Regrowth" ever came about.
I don't wish to put my head down or conform as I have said.
I stand tall...at 5ft, yet my Strength and Fighting Spirit is one that can never be Drowned with Stares.
For me....I don't find it hard at all to walk without Head covering, as I don't like enabling ignorance. However, it only becomes a bother when people make themselves known, by their own issues regarding my HAiRLESS iMAGE!
During the Expo in Atlanta, peoples responses were so "POSiTiVE", it was refreshing to see the outcome of such interest.
On the Flip Side...I Feel, that in General, People are Willing to Understand Changing Trends, be it HAiR......OR NO HAiR!
They just need the Right Platform to Introduce Change.
Either they take You or Leave You...then, You Know What You Got!
I find that even though society hasn't got it right, for me it's rather "TO GO BALD...THAN NOT TO"
As it's easier for others to relate openly, even if they Do Not Agree With You!
I say...who gives a "HOOT" what anyone thinks, as it is I who "FROLiC" with Pain & Loss...Not Them.
So why should "I, OR WE" be Uncomfortable, to Satisfy their problems of insecurity, HAViNG TO LOOK AT ME!
"BiG DEAL"
They'll Get OVA iT.
WE HAVE TO LiVE WiTH iT........

Comment by kimberly dean on March 21, 2010 at 11:31pm

tell them if you feel comfortable, you've got nothing to feel ashamed of. If he doesn't like it, well then you know and he probably never would have been comfortable with it whether you waited or not.
The date can still be fun. You can talk about aopecia in a non-serious way, it's not like it's terminal and going to be the whole dates topic of conversation.
But it's really a personal choice and what you feel comfortable with. Personally, I usually just tell everyone straight up and it hasn't been a problem so far that I'm aware of.

Good luck and all the best for your date. Just try and relax and have fun.

Comment by kimberly dean on March 21, 2010 at 11:35pm

I just read Susan's comment and she makes some really valid and interesting points.
However it's really only relevant to those of us who tell our dates straight away through a lack of self love.
I totally understand Susan's persepctive and might take this approach myself in the future because I often rush into things instead of taking things slow.

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