Comment by Norm on October 26, 2010 at 1:57pm

Hiya Kiddo, - I know exactly where you're at with this, cos it's happened to me quite a few times over the years - in fact I've lost count of how many.
The Big Thing about burglary isn't so much the stuff that's taken, although some of it might be of sentimental value. No, it's that feeling of violation, insecurity, "is this really happening?", will it happen again.... your mind goes round and round the same questions over and over.
The thing is, and this might sound like a weird thing to say.... you can get kinda used to it.... not that it's something you'd want to, voluntarily. Last time it happened to me was in 2006, and I got burgled 3 times in 7 weeks - at first I was OK, doing the "that's life" routine, but the final time it got me to the stage where every time I came home I expected to find the door open or a window busted. Took a good few weeks to get over that feeling!

The thing is, though, that your house is SUPPOSED to allow people in - that's what it's for. So you can never guarantee that no-one will ever get in... unless you've got a grizzly in the front room, and we don't have those in the UK :)
Moving house won't guarantee that you won't get burgled again.... who's to say that wherever you go is any more secure? And there's an argument that says the burglars won't come back to where you are now because you're wary and on your guard. So don't have a knee-jerk reaction to this - give it some time and see how you feel later.

If it helps, the first time I was burgled was when my wife was still alive, and they took a lot of her jewellery. But she wasn't the kind of person to do the "woe is me" routine and went round all the second-hand shops looking for her stuff.... it was amazing how much of it she got back! Give it a go, you never know! It's that "taking control" thing that helps you to feel better.

I think the answer to your last question - "how do I get over it" - is the same as for any loss or invasion. You give it time.... think about how you were when you lost your hair. How did you get over that? After all the tears and "why me?"-type stuff, you eventually came to terms with it, that's how. You already know there are some serious lowlifes in the world, and unfortunately it was your turn to encounter them. It's part of how the world is.... life can be pretty crappy. All you can do is put it down to experience, and move on. And the things that have gone? That's all they are, just things. It pays not to get too attached... so long as you're alright, that's the important thing.

Let us know how you go with this. And if you need to talk about it some more, you know where we are on here! Who better to know the feelings of shock and loss and worry, than a bunch of alopecians? :)

Comment by Angie P on October 26, 2010 at 1:59pm

{{{{KastaBaby}}}}, Sorry to hear that this has happened to you. Yeah, it's only "stuff" but it feels sooo personal knowing someone was in your space just doing whatever.

I experienced the same thing this past July. Luckily my alarm and an eagle-eyed neighbor scared the burglars away before they could take anything. $1,300 later, I have new locks and door jams and will be adding an IP camera as soon as it becomes available in my market.

You're right. It's hard to get back to feeling comfortable in your own home. At least for me it was, but it is getting better. I don't jump and EVERY little noise now, just some of them. ;) And I find myself checking the windows a little more often. I watch my neighbors' homes a little more carefully. Unfamiliar vehicles get an extra look.

I wish I had the answer to how to get over it, but I'm sure it's different for everyone. For me it's just been the passage of time and the realization that the contents of my house is just stuff.

Take care of yourself Kasta!

P.S.: I concur about the demeanor of the police. Here in Houston the door-kicking has become so rampant, I guess it's just routine for them.

Comment by soniamarry on October 26, 2010 at 9:43pm

This happened to me and the feeling is horrible. After it happened I felt so violated. It took me months to feel comfy in my home again. Eventually it subsided as I thought that if I let it get to me then "they" would win. They took so much from me that I couldn't allow them to take my sanity too. With time I believe it will get better and if you plan to move ...even better. God bless! My heart goes out to you bc I know it is not easy!

Comment by dennis on October 26, 2010 at 9:46pm

Hi Kasta

I think Norm has a good take on dealing with it. My sons home was burgled this past Sunday while they were away for the weekend. The same feelings about dealing with it and the invasion of privacy and the security issue. I wish you all the best dealing with this problem. Have faith.

Comment by kastababy on October 27, 2010 at 9:18am

I don't think I would be as upset if it wasn't for the fact that I've been robbed before -- I was working as a Night Auditor at Union Station Hotel in Nashville at this exact time 11 years ago when I got robbed the first time. And now that I've found somewhere to move to, I'm not worried as much. Now I have to go through the process of getting everything transferred so I can just start working and everything from the new place.

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