When I first discovered Alopecia World and joined our beloved community, it seemed as if I had so much to say that I couldn't stop blogging, commenting on various discussions, making new friends, comforting others, and generally trying to spread the message of awareness and education to alopecians and non-alopecians alike. I reveled in the fact that for the first time, I wasn't the only one that I could share my experiences with in dealing with this double-edged sword that is alopecia. I fell in love; I thought I was blossoming and my life seemed to be on track.

Then the bottom fell out from under me. My mother became dangerously ill, and the one person that was supposed to love me unconditionally brought every fear and my worst nightmare to life: he took my alopecia and my struggles with it and used it against me in an effort to control me. Love is truly blinding; it can make you lose sight of everything you value and forsake everyone who truly cares about you in order to sustain it. And so it was for the majority of 2009. I became withdrawn, reclusive, unsure of myself; in short, I slowly turned into everything I was not, all for the sake of trying to gain the support and approval of someone who obviously wasn't deserving of all I had to offer. Simply put, by enabling him to hurt me I was very slowly destroying myself.

I thank God everyday for blessing me with the friends that I have both here at home and around the world that I have made through AW. It took weeks and months of steady encouragement, prayer, and a couple of blunt conversations (if you're reading this, you know who you are and I love you all!) to lift me from the fog I had slipped into. It also took a lot of prayer for me to remember that I am a strong woman that comes from a strong family -- and believe me, I had to reach deep down within to find out how strong I really am -- to finally say enough was enough and take my life back from the one I was with. October 12, 2009 is my Independence Day -- because I declared my independence from the slavery of the opinion of others, left the one who was keeping me down, and I haven't looked back.

Almost immediately, things in my life began to fall into place. I got two wonderful new jobs, finished a bachelor's degree I promised my dad I would get before he died, started graduate school, and attended my first NAAF Conference. Along the way, I learned to go on dates with myself, stand up for my right to go about life bald as I am, and come to terms with the fact that truth be told, I miss having hair sometimes -- enough so that I got my head scanned for a freedom wig at the NAAF Conference. I've been approached about contributing to another book as well as appearing in a documentary about living life with alopecia, and learned to like living alone again.

The only thing I haven't really been able to do in this time is start blogging again like I used to. Sometimes I think it's because I simply don't have anything to say. But nothing could be further from the truth. I think it has more to do with the fact that I blogged the most when I was trying to get my ex to come to terms with my alopecia; the more I blogged and the more I talked about alopecia, the further away he pushed me. So you may be wondering why blog now?? Simply put, for the last 7 months I have bottled everything up that I've had to say. I've always thought that my migraines were caused by too many thoughts running through my head, and writing and blogging and constantly talking in general is the best way for me to get these thoughts out. But where do I begin??

Sometimes all I need is a single topic to start writing about -- and so it shall be with this blog too. Every couple of days, I shall randomly choose a topic that I think will be of general interest to my friends here on Alopecia World and just write about it. I want to get back to the point where my words paint a picture in your mind; I want to educate, entertain, move, motivate, and inspire; most of all, I want to get out everything I want to say and have needed to say for a long time.

John F. Kennedy once said, "A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step." This has always been true of my life with alopecia, and a truism of life in general. Well today is my single step. Let the journey of a thousand miles begin!