I cried everyday wondering why me? How come this happened? Does my husband still find me attractive, and are my children embarrassed of their mother. My Sister and mother insisted I needed a wig; they chipped in their money and bought me a wig. I went to the salon, had the wig styled and thought I might just like the wig. After a couple days of wearing my wig, I didn’t really like it, it was hot, itchy, and it made my scalp break out. While driving down the road, I had enough of the wig, ripped it off, and threw it in the back seat…lol I wore bucket hats, and they were ok, but just not me, they hid my eyes and felt boyish. I searched everywhere for pattern for hats, I finally found one I liked, I swear I made a hat in every color, added buttons on them, lace etc. I’m usually a very outgoing, chipper person who loves to laugh and make others laugh. This was no longer the case, I didn’t want to go out of my house, I refused to go to the store by myself. I felt as if everyone was staring and laughing at me. I started to feel like I was an alien that just came down for a visit. I would try and talk myself into going to the store by myself, get in the car, get a mile away and turn around and come back home. I felt alone, and certainly no one could relate to me. I tend to keep my feelings inside and put on a happy face, trying to be strong for my children, trying to teach them no matter what life throws your way, accept it as a challenge. I was doing a lousy job pulling this off, it killed me inside. I didn’t even want to look in the mirror, why would I? I didn’t know who that woman was on the inside and I sure as hell didn’t know that woman on the outside. This felt like some cruel joke, like I was a science experiment and everyone knew it but me.