In December, 2006 my daughter, Rachel, was wearing her hair up in a ponytail and a friend asked her what that bald spot was. The spot was about the size of a quarter. We took her to a pediatrician who told us not to worry about it...it would grow back.
By February, the bottom half of her head in the back was bald. We took her to a dermatologist, who broke the news to us that she had AA. I was devastated. All of my hopes and dreams for her felt like they were smashed to tiny pieces. People say that when you are faced with death, your life flashes before your eyes. When she was diagnosed, I saw her life flash before my eyes. Cheerleading, sports, proms, boyfriends, marriage, career.....how could she ever lead a normal life now? At night, after putting her to bed, while laying in my husband's arms, I cried until I couldn't breathe. I prayed for hours non-stop, begging God to let me be the one stricken with this instead of her.
The dermatologist said our best bet for treatment would be cortisone shots. She was sooo scared of needles. The doctor told her not to worry, that it would only sting a little. I bribed her with fake long nails that she had been begging me for. Fortuneately, he only injected 4 shots in a little circle to see if it would work. She said it stung very badly. We waited for a few weeks...no regrowth.
Our next treatment plan was cream that irritated the skin on her scalp. The medical thinking was that the rash from the cream would distract the white blood cells that were hell-bent on killing her hair follicles. Once again, no regrowth.
At this point, I had to ask myself as a mother, to what lengths I was willing to go to try and find a cure for this. More importantly, what was I willing to put my little girl through. Of course, as any parent would, I would go to the ends of the earth to make her life better. But, after doing extensive research on the internet, it didn't appear there was a cure. So, I made the decision to quit putting her and myself through hell, and accept the cards that we were dealt.
I hated the responses I got from people when I would tell them about Rachel's condition. I would tell them what causes alopecia and that there was not a cure. I would still get the most aggravating questions: Is she getting the proper nutrition? Is she under tremendous stress? Did we perm or color her hair? Had I tested her for allergies? Had she seen a homeopath? Blah, blah, blah. It made me feel like I was horrible mother because I had not been able to fix this or I had done (or not done) something to cause it.
In the summer before Rachel started her first year of middle school, she had lost enough hair that it couldn't be hidden any longer. I found Apollo Hair Center who fit Rach with a custom lace human hair wig. The wigs are attached with medical-grade adhesive, so she could swim, shower, and sleep with it on. It made her feel like everyone else and gave her a sense of relief that she didn't have to worry about someone seeing her bald spots.
The first wig we got was so screwed up. Rachel wanted it to be dark brown with light blonde streaks (highlights) in it. The factory disbursed the light blonde hairs throughout the dark brown and it made it look ashen gray. It was horrible. In two years of dealing with Apollo, we never got a single wig that was made the same. Even though her head been measured and remeasured, it never fit right. So now, I am ordering her custom made wig myself (insurance pays for one per year) and maintaining it myself. I have learned so much. Thank God for the internet!
In the last year, Rachel has lost all of the hair on her head, her eyebrows, and her eyelashes (although her eyelashes are trying to make a comeback, God bless 'em). We got her eyebrows tattooed on and she tried fake lashes for awhile, but didn't like them. She prefers to just use eyeliner and eye makeup.
I still pray everyday that God will cure her once and for all. I pray that if it is His will for her to live with this, that He give her the strength and courage to deal with it gracefully and to let good come from it. I pray for His protection for her emotional and mental well-being. I pray for guidance in being her support system and helping her achieve a strong sense of pride in who she is. I also thank God that she is healthy and has such strength of character, and that He has given us the resources to be able to provide her with her wigs and tattooed brows.
I no longer feel that her life is over because of this. This website is to thank for that. Reading the blogs and discussions of the amazing people here has made me see this challenge she faces is going to help shape her into a truly strong individual who will be able to deal with anything life throws at her. I thank you all that have shared your troubles and your triumphs. You are making a huge difference in other's lives...giving them the courage to persevere, knowing they are not alone, and that life is worth living.
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