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One year and it's all gone
Hi everyone. Well I’ve been away from AW for a couple of months. Very business time of year and unfortunately the last few months have been pretty hard regarding the alopecia. It’s been 1 year since we first noticed the spots of hair missing on my son’s head. One year later and son has lost it all - hair, eyebrows, and now the eyelashes are going. He had a few stray hairs left that we finally shaved. He was ok with it until his official unveiling, taking his hat off in front of his baseball team for a swim party. Up until then he always wore a hat. The kids on his team were all really cool but 2 siblings were incredibly mean. I didn't know about it until we got in the car to leave and he began to cry. Couldn't have been worse. They teased him the whole party. His first experience and he runs into bullies. I know I can’t protect him from the world. I need to come up with something he can say when teased so he's not just left standing there. He's since went to soccer practice without his beanie and all has been ok, thank goodness. Lots of emotions for both of us. I kinda feel like I'm back to where I was in the beginning when just finding out what we were facing. I know we'll get through it, we have no other choice. I now know the bullies won’t stop and I had so hoped (perhaps very unrealistically) that we would some how avoid it. I was living in denial. Does anyone have any suggestions on what he can say to creepy little kids that have been taught no social manners? I personally would love to deal with them but I think that I might face legal troubles – just kidding (kinda ). I am so happy to have all of you hear. I don’t have anyone I can really let loose on as I always try to stay very positive. So thank you for being here and letting me vent, and thanks in advance for any suggestions you might have.
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Comment by Saskia Fourie on July 8, 2009 at 9:16am
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Dear Margie, I can't begin to imagine how you as a parent must feel...I remember what my parents went through when I developed it, a girl of 9 years old...it was very hard on me, still is, nothing you can do or say takes it away, despite you're despereate need to protect your child. Love him. That's all you can do, explain to him that he will encounter children who are mean, I often found it's those that don't understand what it is all about that tease kids. He can always say something like : Tease me all you want, my hair can and will grow back, you will always be mean! I don't need you to be my friend, I don't need you to like me, I have enough people big enough to like me the way I am. You can become involved by maybe talking to a teacher who can approach the children / parents to explain to them what the situation is and how it should be handled. I remember a girl who used to tease me with no end, I ended up in the principles office after punching her in the face...not the way I should have handled it, but I was 13 years old, scared and embarresed! I got off scott free, the priciple explained the situation to her and her parents, and she became a huge role player in the "stop teasing Saskia" campaign...just cos it was explained to her...good luck...you are a great parent, always remember that!
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Comment by Mary on July 8, 2009 at 3:14pm
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Margie, thank you for sharing your story. I wish I had some advice, but hopefully, others on AW will be able to make suggestions. Have you seen Olivia Rusk's videos? You might want to send her and her mom, Sandy, a message on AW.
I look forward to meeting you and your son here in San Diego on July 19 at the National Bald Out event at Fashion Valley. We'll be easy to spot!
Mary
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