Other women's reaction to my alopecia

So a couple of women came along as visitors to my Toastmaster's meeting the second time in a row. At this meeting I was wearing a new wig and both of them commented on my new look...actually the style is pretty much the style I always wear but the colour was much darker...so I said matter of factly that I was wearing my new wig and explained I had alopecia. They both said they would never know it was a wig and that if I didn't tell anyone no one would know. Just then the meeting was called to order so the opportunity to explain that although I wore a wig I wasn't into keeping it a secret was lost. Shame really. However, I've had a few comments from people I just meet who comment on my hair that I shouldn't tell anyone...strange..and it makes me wonder if women feel a little uneasy about another woman losing her hair? I've never had that reaction from a man although maybe that's because most men don't comment on a woman's hair? lol Just thought it was an interesting experience to share.

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Comment by Pat on October 13, 2021 at 6:57pm

I agree Mama Parsinc, unless it comes up in conversation I don't go around telling everyone I meet as that would be silly.

Comment by Pat on January 11, 2013 at 5:40am
Oh these women weren't being mean they were only buying into the idea of why don't I keep it a secret if no one can tell its a wig. I just like to get some alopecia awareness out there when I have the opportunity that's all.
Comment by Natasha Gehrke on January 4, 2013 at 9:50am

I've had women that were meaner to me about my hair than men. They way I see it, if there was a crowd I would always stand out from all the other girls because I don't have hair, I don't look normal. If you have come to own who you are then you are probably confident because you have had your trials and come out on top. Other women tend to see confidence as a threat. Besides that most people are not confident with or comfortable with people who are different. I usually take people like this and make jokes about my hair because it is kind of funny to watch someone who is uncomfortable with who another person is.

Comment by chris for hair on January 3, 2013 at 11:04am

People say the strangest things about everything! I am 60+ and training my own horse. Everyone at the facility thought I was crazy and the comments were sometimes downright cruel. It took a lot to stay silent when others thought they knew so much, but now that the horse is trained, they STILL have negative comments. That is just how society is and we can't buy into the BS.
I am sure they are all talking about my new long wig....do I care?

Comment by lovemyhair on January 3, 2013 at 7:18am

hiya,

I think maybe they meant that your hair looks so real that you dont need to tell anyone.In some ways it may be because it looks so natural thats how i see it :)

Comment by Pat on December 23, 2012 at 1:14am

I don't tell people indiscriminately but rather to give awareness about alopecia when the situation arises. When I'm open about it and matter of fact it also helps me not to feel so tragic about it...yes I used to feel tragic the first few years of alopecia...It just helps me deal with it in a calmer way. However, most people I meet never comment on my hair so the situation doesn't usually present itself.

Comment by Mama Parsinc on December 22, 2012 at 10:00am
You know why should you have to explain everything to people...family yes of course, close friends, possibly, but everyone else...why do they need to know or why do they need to be told? It is a persons's choice to disclose the fact they wear a wig but no one should ever feel that they have to. Unless a person has experienced Hairloss they really have no clue and then you discover something that makes you look like you have a regular head of hair....and you tell them that it's a wig. I'm not saying its something that should be hidden but why do we have to tell others? We don't owe it to them.
Comment by Mama Parsinc on December 22, 2012 at 9:58am
You know why should you have to explain everything to people...family yes of course, close friends, possibly, but everyone else...why do they need to know or why do they need to be told? It is a persons's choice to disclose the fact they wear a wig but no one should ever feel that they have to. Unless a person has experienced Hairloss they really have no clue and then you discover something that makes you look like you have a regular head of hair....and you tell them that it's a wig. I'm not saying its something that should be hidden but why do we have to tell others? We don't owe it to them.
Comment by Pat on December 20, 2012 at 11:04pm
Yes that's it exactly Ken, you hit the nail on the head! Like its something we should keep hidden...
Comment by Ken on December 19, 2012 at 9:39am
I'm a man with AU, and I know more difficult for a woman, but I have the same experiences. Men will ask me how I keep my head shaved so perfectly. Sometimes women have asked me why pluck my eyebrows. What else would I say except that I have alopecia? Then there is an awkward moment where I feel compelled to tell them I'm ok, not terminal, and they say "If you didn't say anything no one would even know, I'm sorry, I should mind my own business", etc... So even though I'm comfortable telling people and explaining alopecia, I am still left feeling like it's something I should keep hidden.

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