Its been a while since I posted anything and a lot has happened. Since I shaved my head Ive been on yet another emotional roller coaster. I have had all kinds of thoughts going through my head. My main one is I am already somewhat socially ackward kind of shy around new people, Im on the left side of "normal" now I have being bald to contend with meeting people and/or dating feels even more impossible than before. My friends that Ive told have been very cool a few are very protective even. I had only one issue with a coworker she was asking questions then she laughed when I told her about my condition(she can piss off though I recently got a new job and dont have to deal with her anymore).
Ive lost my eyebrows, the hair in my nose and my legs are still very patchy. I have to joke about myself sometimes or Ill cry.
Yesterday I had an incredible brave moment: I spent the weekend with a couple friends were going to a xfest in Indianapolis Saturday and again in Dayton on Sunday. Saturday was pretty calm the show was good we just werent in a really big crowd at any point. Sunday was a different layout and we were able to get close to the stage in the crowds. In the middle of Mudvaynes set right by the stage, near a mosh pit, among the crowd surfers, my teal wig came off. Slightly embarrassed yes,but I put my wig in my friend dales pocket and went along like it nothing(I did leave the crowd soon after but as exposed as I felt I think I did a good job about not letting it show. I strutted around the rest of the day(only one band was left) with no wig on. I know I did get some stares but I really didnt pay much attention no one said anything out of the way(at least anywhere near me)
So here I am today still thinking, still doubting but I feel a little more braver even if I am still a wee bit self conscious.