Comment by Dorothy on June 3, 2013 at 5:29pm

At least you are getting some kind of reaction, me I have had AU for 40 yrs now and when it first happened it was just after the birth of our daughter, neither of my parents have EVER said a word, not how are you, hey I like your wig, or even I am proud of how you are handling all this. The only person around me was a friend who kept trying to get me to let her look under my wig, which never happened. People just can be so weird. I will not say it has ruined my life, but I will say it has had a big effect on my life and on me as it was an adjustment and in my case the only person who was supportive was my husband, every other person simply was not.

Comment by Sun The What on June 3, 2013 at 7:11pm

Your friends, the ones calling you vain, tell them to shave their heads and then come talking to you about vanity.

Comment by kitty on June 3, 2013 at 7:20pm

I am so sorry. As a parent, I feel helpless that I cannot help my son bc that is what parents do. I even had a Dr. be more upset for us than we were so that was not at all helpful.

So while a bummer, not a game changer in the scheme of life so carry on! You seem like you have a great head on your shoulders.

Comment by Kelly on June 3, 2013 at 7:38pm

When I first told my friends about my bald spots they wouldn't even mention anything to do with hair to me at all. Every time they did they would apologise so I had to keep reminding them that it really wasn't a big deal to me as it was for them. They eventually became more comfortable with it and starting asking me lots of questions. At that time I had 5 large bald patches and thought I would lose the lot but I didn't. All the hair grew back but I now have one which is getting bigger by the day. I haven't told them yet because they worry more than me. It didn't ruin my life and it won't even if it comes back worse this time. Head scarves are very cool. I reassured everyone I was healthy and happy and I'm lucky it's just hair, if you do the same hopefully everyone will relax a little around you. x

Comment by ASRN on June 3, 2013 at 8:34pm

I am impressed with you that you don't think it's a big deal! You are amazing. It will not ruin your life. I'm fact I have found it sort of makes you stand out in a good way. :-) it is funny about your guidance counsellor - as long as you can deal then your confidence will shine through. I am 100% hairless and bc I am so ok with it and healthy (not that I don't still get a sad moment here and there) a lot of people tell me they didn't really even think about my baldness! Men tell me I am sexy even - ha! You seem like you will be fine through this journey :-)

Comment by Pamela Gallagher on June 3, 2013 at 9:00pm

It will not ruin your life! As the mother of a alopecian, I know my daughter, Megan went through very tough times. Once she decided to shave it all and go bald...it was the most freeing feeling ever! She was done with hiding, primping and trying to be something she was not. She will be the first one to tell you, Alopecia made her life better! It made her more compassionate, caring, loving and accepting of all that is good. She loves her wigs, never has to worry that she'll have a bad hair day and goes with the flow! Lewt it be!

Comment by Bev on June 3, 2013 at 9:13pm

No, it's not the end of the world. Everything will be fine as long as you're fine. Don't let it get you down. How you deal with it makes the biggest difference in how things are going to be. I love wigs and have one heck of a collection. I also love baseball caps and use them for days for when I'm running errands or on a casual Friday. My own hair was never as nice as my wigs so I'm grateful for the time I now save getting ready to leave the house. I can be outta here in less than half what it used to take. Not to mention the frustration I put myself thru trying to look representable, when no amt of curling andsspraying and back combing left me feeling satifisfied with myself. If you are happy that's all that matters. Others will follow suit. I know, I've been there. Guys will be ok if you're ok. Remember, it is only hair, it's not YOU!

Comment by Maryanne on June 3, 2013 at 9:56pm

Hi, Colette

I really like your response and attitude about why should we care about what people think. 2 days ago I went to the Cape with by best friend, wearing my wig, and I bought a very nice straw hat and I also bought a beautiful scarf in shades of blue like the ocean. I put the scarf on and then the hat and she told me how great I looked and I said to her, "Why do we care what people think?" We also had massages that day and when I left the spa I didn't put my bra back on. I said, "My bra's in my purse and my wig's in the trunk!" We laughed our butts off. It was a transformative day. :)

Comment by Christine on June 3, 2013 at 10:58pm

Oh my god, look at all the support! Nowhere else can you get stuff this good. I swear, you guys are all wonderful. Madeline, it sounds like you have the best handle on this than anyone around you, and you set the tone. Your parents feel guilty; give them a break. Your friend? Well, your response there is up to you. Please keep getting the shots. If you're having regrowth, you're responding to the treatment, and if your not happy with your doctor's aggressiveness, find another one. Let your parents know what you want, it will make them feel better to help you with it. The quicker it's treated, the quicker it grows back. Dating by its very nature is hard. Not for the weak, and you certainly don't sound weak to me. Easy? No. But then, what is? Nothing worth having, that's for sure. Be confident, be proud, and people will be attracted to you, want to get to know you. Be as open as you can about it, and you will have the support you need, from the people who deserve to know you. And above all, please, keep a sense of humor about it, and yourself. (Maryanne, bra's in the purse, wig's in the trunk: Hahaha!) Hang in there, keep talking, and we'll all be here for you when you need us.

Comment by willow on June 4, 2013 at 6:39am

I have also been bald for over 40 yrs....and it was like Dorthy. Unfortunately I had horrible experiences, and nonsupporting traumas, but now looking back, it didn't have to be this way. I left my wig behind almost 8 yrs ago, and remarried. My husband and child have been the most supporting, and I have found it freeing. In todays world, your protected by freedom of expression, and the employment acts. And this site is the most supporting, wish I had it when I was your age. I believe it would have changed some events, and made me stronger. I'm very proud to say...bulls' doesn't continue now...I'm in charge. You need to be also. I'd recommend you pick up a copy of Pam Fitros's book Bold Bald Women,,,it's a very empowering read.

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