So sick of ...

I am so sick of my mom treating me like I am sick. I moved back in with my parents for a bit after college and now I'm ready to leave, but she constantly shoots me down whenever I mention. When I ask her why, she tells me it is because I am "sick." I cannot figure out how to explain to her that no I am not "sick." I have an autoimmune condition and that if this is making me "sick" then I'll be sick for the rest of my life?

It's irritating. No matter how hard I try to explain to her that I am not ill, it doesn't seem to make sense to her. She thinks I am incapable of living on my own. She refuses to see that being stuck in a third world country away from all that I know is actually making me sick. It is hard enough having to deal with losing my hair without having to be stuck in a place where I have to hide my "illness" from anyone. Then she wonders why I don't leave my room. (I'm in Pakistan and they have a culture of having help in the house and I have to hide my condition from them.) I don't want to tell unnecessary people about my alopecia but I don't want to be stuck living in a place where I have to hide.

At this point, I think I am more depressed because I have to live here than at the fact that I don't have hair. I feel like I'm in prison. I've tried talking to her and she just doesn't seem to understand. Instead she spends her time obsessing with whether or not my hair is growing back. Don't get me wrong, I want my hair to grow back but there are days when I don't even bother looking at the top of my head to see what state it's in.

Help!

Thanks for reading my rant!
Hope you guys are having a better day than me.

Views: 174

Comment by Tallgirl on April 1, 2013 at 11:07am

You will have to have enough money saved up for a permanent move to a safe and acceptable (to you) place with friends and jobs. Research it well to calm any parental fears on safety, realizing that some parents will use ANY argument to keep you a needy child so you will stay with them and do their bidding. Unless you are sick in some other way, use that college education to go on to the next step in college or a job...and do it YOUR way! Make a good plan, and see where their is positive alopecia support in another city.

Comment by MaddiiBoo on April 1, 2013 at 12:45pm

I've got a job lined up in L.A. for me but she's just being impossible. She has decided in her mind that my alopecia is a result of me living alone for three years and not taking care of myself. I just can't figure out how to make her understand that there is no way to know what's caused my hair loss. I'm just sick of her making me feel like I'm sick when I'm not.

Comment by Tallgirl on April 1, 2013 at 11:50pm

Tell her to read everything on www.naaf.org.

Comment by Cheryl, Co-founder on April 2, 2013 at 7:38pm

MaddiiBoo, I don't think you will be able to "convince" her. I would suggest that you just continue to put your life together and hopefully she eventually come around.

Comment by MaddiiBoo on April 2, 2013 at 9:50pm

Thanks Cheryl. That is the new plan. To just do me and not care as much.

Comment by Tallgirl on April 2, 2013 at 11:40pm

I misspelled "there." Sorry.

Comment by Rhoda on April 4, 2013 at 10:57am

Hi MaddiBoo. I am sure your Mom means well. But I can see where you're coming from. I haven't told my parents nor other members of my family about my condition. I am away from home, working in another country, and I'm afraid that my family, especially my parents, would think I am seriously sick when in fact I am not, and only losing hair. :-) I plan on telling them when I get home (for a vacation away from work) in June and hopefully I will be able to explain this complicated stuff to them, and at the same time, that they will understand it and not misinterpret it as a disease wherein I cannot work anymore. My mother has a heart condition and it scares me that telling this to her now, over the phone, will worry her and then she'll get sick. I am actually wishing that they will not ask me to stay home. Cause I can't, i got work here. :-) Good luck on your LA job. :-)

Comment by Alliegator on April 4, 2013 at 3:21pm

I agree with Cheryl. She will eventually come around. I had issues with my Mom understanding my Alopecia, but in a different sort of way. She is now more supportive, but I'm not sure if she will ever completely understand. I suggest to just turn here! We are here for you, and we understand. You will find supportive/understanding people in your life.

Comment by MaddiiBoo on April 4, 2013 at 8:51pm

Thank you everyone. I thought I was the only one with the parent issues, but I'm glad you guys understand. I know she means well, I guess she just doesn't know how to react.

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