I'm 25 and was diagnosed with Alopecia Areata 1 week ago, guess I'm just going to use this to think about how I feel about all this, my fears, my worries, my amazing friends, brilliant family and ever so supportive boyfriend. The first experience I had of Alopecia was when I was around 16, my cousin introduced me to her boyfriend, and explained to me, why he had no eyelashes and no eyebrows etc, I remember thinking to myself, WOW He's so brave! I also remember thinking about how I would feel if something like that was to happen to me, I can tell you now, I thought nothing near like I feel now.

Around 6 weeks ago, I was brushing my hair, getting ready to go to a friends house when I noticed a small bald patch on my hair line, on my forehead. It was about the size of a little finger nail, not big, I thought it strange, I didn't remember loosing any hair, where had it gone????

I showed some of my friends for their advice, they believed I had "burnt" it straightening it, or blow drying it, I tried to believe them, and feel reassured by that, but I guess in my heart of hearts I knew deep down, I would have noticed. Over the next 10 or so days this patch was growing, its now around 2-3 inches big, and I've had a fringe cut to cover it.

I decided to visit my dr, who looked at me, and said she didn't know what it was, advised me it could be all different things and really put some fear into me. She prescribed some anti fungal gel, in the hope it was an infection in my scalp, then requested I see one of her colleagues. I went to see him just over a week later, he was none the wiser, and thought maybe it was alopecia, causing this unexplained baldness on my head.

So I was then refferred to the dermatologist. He spent no more then 10 mins telling me I had alopecia, he didn't explain anything to me, and most of the things i now know about it, come from researching the internet. I asked him questions, Like "Am I going to loose all of my hair?" "What about my eye lashes and eye brows?" "Will my hair grow back?" All I really wanted to know was what was going to happen from here on in, I wanted to get it all straight in my mind. All his replies were "I dont know, you might, you might not, you may loose all your hair, you may not". I now know that Alopecia is kinda unpredictable, and he couldn't really say much more than that. But it doesn't stop me resenting him for that. He should have taken some time to explain everything to me, because if he did, I wouldn't be so terrified now.

So I left the Dr, now knowing whats causing my random hair loss, but where does that leave me? Whats my next steps? How do I make this better? I admit, I can be a control freak, I like to know whats happening and have a plan in case it all goes wrong, and this time, its all down to my own body, I'm not in control of it.

So what shall I do, I go from one extreme to the next, thinking "its only hair, no big deal, if it goes, it goes, I'm not dying" to thinking "Oh my.......I cant cope not knowing! I dont want to loose it!!!!!!!" No one can tell me whether I'll loose more or not, or if this is it, because if this is it, I can cope, I can hide it, because people do stare and ask, thats already started, but i can deal with that.

The I begin to feel guilty for feeling so worried, because there are people worse off than me. I'm very fortunate, I dont need to be scared, but the truth is, I'm petrified.

When will I be able to stop worrying about it?

When will it re-grow and when will a hairdresser do my highlights for me?!

All these silly little things, that I took for granted, finding doing my hair a chore, I would love to go into a hairdresser and be pampered and come out looking like a million dollars!

I guess I just want some answers....xxxxxxxx