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Teens with Alopecia: Then and Now
There are a million stories out there about parents who contributed to angst, but I would like to hear what are the BEST things your parents did for you as a young person with alopecia, aside from medical appointments and wig purchases. How did your folks secretly get you out of a funk about hair loss?
Mine let me quit piano lessons and enroll in a special summer drawing class (I am really a visual artist) at Cranbrook Institute. They let me go to all the summer camps and weekend conferences I wanted to through my church, where I met other teens who became lifelong friends. One of these was a Peace Seminar in New York (the U.N. plus other sites) and Washington, D.C. They drove me to other cities to visit these friends, and got me the stamps to write hundreds of letters (before internet, folks!) during the boring summers when school was out and I couldn't yet drive. Dad let me use the car once I had my license to go to after-school activities in drama and the arts, pizza parties, etc. When I needed a formal dress, my mother sewed it because I was too tall for most teen fashions (kind older guys from camp became my dates for formal dances, and I was thrilled when each agreed to go!).The best, however, was hosting a cast party for a musical (my sister acted and sang, I did posters/programs/scenery) that turned out to have about 300 guests, some invited and some not, while parents and the music teacher were there to chaperone. What a blast for a girl hiding under a wig! Then, they paid for college away from home...more fun and learning there! Above all, they did not wring their hands and moan...they just allowed me to pursue my dreams and talents, and they became my wheels when I needed a social life. I gained a social and artistic conscience through my activities, and this eventually lead me to my career choices and outlook on relationships.
School is about to start again...this is for the teens and parents who might want to make some positive plans. Let's give ideas! What did your folks do that was RIGHT?
Mine let me quit piano lessons and enroll in a special summer drawing class (I am really a visual artist) at Cranbrook Institute. They let me go to all the summer camps and weekend conferences I wanted to through my church, where I met other teens who became lifelong friends. One of these was a Peace Seminar in New York (the U.N. plus other sites) and Washington, D.C. They drove me to other cities to visit these friends, and got me the stamps to write hundreds of letters (before internet, folks!) during the boring summers when school was out and I couldn't yet drive. Dad let me use the car once I had my license to go to after-school activities in drama and the arts, pizza parties, etc. When I needed a formal dress, my mother sewed it because I was too tall for most teen fashions (kind older guys from camp became my dates for formal dances, and I was thrilled when each agreed to go!).The best, however, was hosting a cast party for a musical (my sister acted and sang, I did posters/programs/scenery) that turned out to have about 300 guests, some invited and some not, while parents and the music teacher were there to chaperone. What a blast for a girl hiding under a wig! Then, they paid for college away from home...more fun and learning there! Above all, they did not wring their hands and moan...they just allowed me to pursue my dreams and talents, and they became my wheels when I needed a social life. I gained a social and artistic conscience through my activities, and this eventually lead me to my career choices and outlook on relationships.
School is about to start again...this is for the teens and parents who might want to make some positive plans. Let's give ideas! What did your folks do that was RIGHT?
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Comment by Carol on August 18, 2010 at 11:23pm
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You are so lucky to have had parents that supported you. Unfortunately the list of things my parents did belong on a "don't do" list. In trying to keep up with your positive theme though, I can say what I had wished my parents had done for me. 1) support and encourage (from yourself and try to get the school involved by sharing their alopecia story, help them get involved with their goals), 2) help with self-esteem (do whatever you can to make them feel comfortable in their shoes to accept themselves (clothes, let them pick their wig, perhaps let them try a different school)), and 3) LISTEN!!! Sometimes this is the hardest part for a parent because many will offer advise (that doesn't always work). A shoulder to cry on and an attentive ear - no matter what you say - is always appreciated. Following these points I'm sure I would have come around to accept myself at a much younger age than in my early 20's (I grew up with alopecia). At least I have a better idea of what I can do in case this gets passed down to my kids. Happy learning everyone! :)
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Comment by Kristen Ridenhour on August 23, 2010 at 1:53am
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My hair fell out completely in about 3-4 weeks. My parents were very good at letting me do what I wanted. They never forced me into any treatments, nor did I want to go through them (my mom didn't want me to do them because she was scared of scarring and side effects. I just didn't see the point of trying a bunch of things that were most likely not going to work. I was a competitive gymnast before (and after) my hair fell out. They let me decide how to handle going back to practices and school. My coach played a big role in me becoming confident in myself again as well. They supported me when I wore wigs to school and supported me when I decided not to wear them anymore. I think the biggest thing is that they just tried to do whatever would make me more comfortable with myself and surroundings.
As for school... I just graduated from college and it feels so weird not going back to school tomorrow. For everyone who is going back, good luck!
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