Alopecia World
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Gene fear in serious dating
What I am wondering is, how many uninformed non-alopecia people out there may harbor a secret doubt about this condition in regards to passing on genes...and skulk away from a Good Thing with alopecians (like the CHICKENS that they are...cluck, cluck!)?
No one else at all in my family has alopecia, and believe me, I have gone back to the 1800s in my research.
But.
After thinking about my dating years ago, I wonder now if some of the haired guys, due to their own thinking or that of their parents, may have pulled away from any commitments out of fear that children would inherit genes for alopecia. Even a female church "friend" in her 70s once made the rude comment to me that I wasn't "healthy" enough for doing the dating profile thing online. (Yes, I pulled away from the friendship with her.)
No, I don't believe that about myself, because my kids and grandchild all turned out with full heads of hair. (I did have a marriage to a man without alopecia, Once Upon a Time. When my alopecia returned after a 15-year hiatus, he claimed he never knew about it previously...and the chicken ran off with a Longhair.) Do you think having a contender for Miss America with alopecia will help bring acceptance or knowledge to dating singles across America?
I am putting this out there for the 16 to 40-year-olds on AW. What do you think? Males: you can jump in here, too. Do you think The Child Question impacts your dating life as a bald/baldish man? How do you best "teach" your serious loves that life will be okay? Because, you know, it WILL be, alopecia or not!
By the way...I am perfectly content to NOT chase chickens anymore!
;)
No one else at all in my family has alopecia, and believe me, I have gone back to the 1800s in my research.
But.
After thinking about my dating years ago, I wonder now if some of the haired guys, due to their own thinking or that of their parents, may have pulled away from any commitments out of fear that children would inherit genes for alopecia. Even a female church "friend" in her 70s once made the rude comment to me that I wasn't "healthy" enough for doing the dating profile thing online. (Yes, I pulled away from the friendship with her.)
No, I don't believe that about myself, because my kids and grandchild all turned out with full heads of hair. (I did have a marriage to a man without alopecia, Once Upon a Time. When my alopecia returned after a 15-year hiatus, he claimed he never knew about it previously...and the chicken ran off with a Longhair.) Do you think having a contender for Miss America with alopecia will help bring acceptance or knowledge to dating singles across America?
I am putting this out there for the 16 to 40-year-olds on AW. What do you think? Males: you can jump in here, too. Do you think The Child Question impacts your dating life as a bald/baldish man? How do you best "teach" your serious loves that life will be okay? Because, you know, it WILL be, alopecia or not!
By the way...I am perfectly content to NOT chase chickens anymore!
;)
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Comment by Alliegator on August 23, 2010 at 10:59am
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Hi,
This is a good topic! I think if I were to pass it onto my children, I would be able to teach them how to live and cope with it unlike me, who had to figure it out for myself. I only know one person in my family, my paternal grandmother's sister, who has it. Hers did not start until she was in her 50s. I think if a man was to "skulk away from a good thing" it would be because I wear wigs, not because I might give it to our potential children. I think if a man is going to be okay with my condition, then they would be okay if it is potentially passed down to our children. It's the same thing as the breast cancer gene or other genes. There are always risks of what you could pass down to children. However, It is not in my plans to have children, so others might view this very differently. :)
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Comment by vicky on August 24, 2010 at 3:05am
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My doctor confirmed me 100% that is in the DNA of each of us to develop alopecia. It might never be triggered as a mechanism or it might will, resulting lost of hair to the degree of AA.
He even suggested me to have my DNA tested to prove it to me , but I refused since it costs and it doesnt make sense to spend on something to confirm the obvious.
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Comment by Norm on August 25, 2010 at 2:00pm
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Well, I'm a LOOONG way outside of the 16-to-40 range, but come on.... do you really think ANY guy considers genes (as opposed to "jeans"!) when it comes to a partner? Naah.... starts as pure lust, then maybe turns to luuuurrrrve, then acceptance, and finally resignation. ;) *sigh*
At no point will it occur to him what he might be passing on, other than his '60's vinyl collection, or maybe a classic car or bike. Genes?? Don't make me laugh!! Even if such an idea DID rise up from the thought-ooze of an average fella's mind, it'd be more likely to be about all the GOOD features their kids might inherit, rather than the bad. Cos we're all perfect, aren't we? ;)
TG: just cos you're "not chasing chickens", does that mean you're not eligible to be chased? Hmmm... make sure you don't run so fast us old guys can't catch ya.... :)
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Comment by Tallgirl on August 25, 2010 at 9:46pm
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I've just slowed down...on purpose. Dibs, girls...I call dibs.
Oh, wait...is that the beer talking? My gardeners just made me drink a couple of cold ones out on the neighbor's lawn.......I may have fuzzy thinking.....No. Definately dibs. Anyone who makes THIS old gal laugh so much.....
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Hey Siala, I don't think you need to worry - if Isabella gets the boobs, I don't think she'll ever want for male attention... :)
But what I'm wondering is, if you've got both "boobs and bald", which do the guys talk at when trying to make conversation?? Whooo... what a tough choice.... ;)
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Neither? Maybe it is all in the eyes, smile and voice, and we all worry needlessly that the other things matter at ALL!
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