I've noticed that the dominant narrative on AW is one of all or nothing. Whether one has bald spots all over and only a few strands of hair holding on, or one just has a couple of spots that can easily be concealed, she is admonished to just shave it all off rather than worrying or obsessing about it all falling out. This is usually done with the rationale of "taking back control", control being an inherently illusory concept. Once one does the ritual shaving they are a de facto initiate into "The Cult of Bald" and are met with accolades and acceptance from the group. The newly smooth inductee expresses some variation of feeling free, no longer worrying about hair loss, being able to be their true self, with the idea of reclaiming "control" always at the fore of her assertions.
While this scenario is true for some alopecians, it is clearly not the experience of all in the community (it is not my experience). I have never shaved my head and choose to bond over my remaining hair. All I ask is that we continue to remain open to counter-narratives, in the alopecian community, that diverge from the shave-control-embrace paradigm, which seems to be celebrated as the alopecian ideal, on this forum. This limited coping model can be completely alienating to many for whom this is seen as not only personally unattainable, but wholly undesirable as well.