Three ladies, three different experiences with baldness

Yesterday I met and spoke to two women.

The first was a bald black woman in the library and when I asked if she had alopecia she responded that, no, she just liked the look. Thirteen years ago she shaved her head and continued to do so to this day. We spoke for a bit and exchanged shaving tips and our thoughts on living our lives as bald women.

Later on that even while grocery shopping a lady made eye contact with me and then asked if I have cancer. I told her about my alopecia and she continued to tell me that a few months ago she looked just like me. We spoke about her cancer and my alopecia and before she left she parted with the words “I wish that the baldness was my only health issue". I wished her good health and thought, me too.

So often I hear alopecians say that they struggle with people thinking they may have cancer, my experience is that it is usually people who are going through cancer that approach me. They too are looking for connection and we have an awesome opportunity to share and learn with them.

My alopecia and baldness brings me face to face with life, illness and possibly fatality, fashion statements and freedom statements, rebellion and surrender, confidence and humility, rejection and self-acceptance, conformity and self-expression, self-hatred and self-love, hope, reality and an always a new perspective.

Whether I search out opportunities or they find me, the connections in my life are like spider webs. I understand that I have something to exchange with a multitude of women in different situation and these are just a few of the connection with my alopecia! We can decide to spin our webs and grow in these opportunities.

Any thoughts? Or perhaps some opportunities in which your alopecia experience connected with others?

Views: 28

Comment by kastababy on July 30, 2010 at 10:16pm
When I was at the NAAF Conference in June, I met a lady from Snellville, GA (right next door to where I used to live in Loganville, GA) who was having such a hard time coping with her AA. Listening to her story and hearing of her struggles with this condition just reinforced how blessed I am to have had the support system that I've had for so many years -- being confident in myself and how I look and feel about myself equips me to be a source of strength to others.

Your analogy of a spider-web connection is fantastic yet true -- the bonds we forge with other alopecians as well as others affected by AA in their lives is fragile on the surface, yet that outward-appearing fragility belies the strength within. And, as we continue to spread the message of education and awareness, those connections will grow, which will only make our bonds stronger.

Thanks for this post!!
Comment by Nari on August 6, 2010 at 11:32am
Thank you for your warm welcome. You have a really beautiful smile, and beautiful skin! I read a post somewhere in which the author was so offended that a stranger approached her and asked if she had cancer... of course, I don't encourage this kind of nosiness, but I couldn't help but think: "Maybe she just got diagnosed with cancer, and was so desperate for a friend she forgot her manners? Kind of like how I just discovered my hair loss, and am scouring the internet for help and information?" It's difficult to deal with nosy people, but easier to forgive if we know their motives are more than just a penchant for rudeness. :)
Comment by David B327 on February 18, 2011 at 6:16am
Hi Cheryl
The comment from the 2nd woman you met is (to me) very poignant. It made me think straight away of several people, some of whom are no longer with us. I hope the chemo was a success.

I would say (subject to obvious caveats) that connecting with strangers in the way you’ve described can only be positive. Having lived in London for over 20 years now, I find it be such a soulless and unfriendly place. Having said that though, it was chatting to someone at a bar in a nightclub that led to me being introduced to my partner Christie. We’ll soon be celebrating our 20th anniversary.

Comment

You need to be a member of Alopecia World to add comments!

Join Alopecia World

Disclaimer

Any mention of products and services on Alopecia World is for informational purposes only; it does not imply a recommendation or endorsement by Alopecia World. Nor should any statement or representation on this site be construed as professional, medical or expert advice, or as pre-screened or endorsed by Alopecia World. Alopecia World is not responsible or liable for any of the views, opinions or conduct, online or offline, of any user or member of Alopecia World.

© 2024   Created by Alopecia World.   Powered by

Badges  |  Report an Issue  |  Terms of Service