Alopecia World
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Venting
People never cease to amaze me. So this woman at church came up to me last Wednesday,and asked me if I was wearing a wig. I was shocked and I started stuttering, and then I finally told her "yes", with a smile. She then asked me "why, because Indian woman have beautiful hair"? and I noticed that I was about to tear up so just then I took my mind somewhere else as I answered " I have a form of Alopecia". She then asked what that was, so I told her. It's surprising to me sometimes that some people do not know that term, I guess because I've made Alopecia my whole life practically. She annoyed me even more by asking me if I was bald, and then apologizing for even asking me these questions. I wanted to pull her ever growing goatee off, lol... I feel like she could have been more sensitive, heck I'm very sensitive when it comes to other people. There are some questions that I just don't ask..I did'nt want her to infuriate me even more, so I left the room making up some excuse, then I went to the bathroom to cry. I wish I can avoid insensitive people, but I can't...I can only try and control the way I deal with them.
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Comment by Tallgirl on December 14, 2011 at 6:41pm
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Write her a personal note, saying that you always thought people from whatever-her-nationality-is were supposed to be respectful, aware of feelings and kind.
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Comment by Amy on December 14, 2011 at 7:15pm
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I had a similar thing happen to me! A girl at a party asked me if I had a wig on. I said ” yes” and when I told her about alopecia she said ” that is weird” and that she wears wigs for halloween! It felt so horrible! If the word wig gets said, I want to be the one who says it! I am sorry that happened to you. I don't understand why people need to say anything! It really hurts!
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Comment by Elizabeth on December 14, 2011 at 8:43pm
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@Tallgirl, I did better actually. I should'nt have done this actually...but the next day, I recommended her to an electrolysis that would work wonders on getting rid of her facial hair! I know it was mean, but I kind of felt like she knew I was wearing a wig the whole time, and she just wanted to be annoying...
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@Amy, I'm so sorry that happened to you as well. I feel the same way, It's like what's it to you if I'm wearing a wig or not? I thought it was only Indian people I had to worry about when it comes down to insensitivity, but I guess I was wrong. But I know her personality, she's an older woman, but she acts like the annoying cheerleader from highschool, the one who gets pleasure in putting others down only to feel more superior..
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Perfect! And brave!
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Comment by Mark G on December 14, 2011 at 9:33pm
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There will always be insensitive people, whether it's in a church or out of church. But Thank God, that he isn't like that himself, and when others discourage us he is there to lift us up. He never fails. I feel bad that the lady acted that way toward you. May God forgive her, and may he strengthen you.
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Maybe your minister could mention sensitivity to differences (and kindness) in a church e-mail to the whole congregation, so these things won't happen as much, or so people will recognize situations more and defend the cornered recipients of unkind questioning.
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It bothers my daughter when other people will bring it up and it is not her wanting to talk about it. People are curious. I have an Aunt that is not a blood relative that has always worn a wig. She is in her 80's, everyone always talked about it but noone ever asked her why or mentioned it. I would love to ask her now if it is because of alopecia but wouldn't want to make her uncomfortable. The lady that asked you about it seems rude.
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Comment by Marianne on December 15, 2011 at 1:48pm
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I Love the Electrolysis comeback!! :))) Good for you!! :))
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Comment by Cindie on December 15, 2011 at 2:19pm
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Rude and horrible....and I do like the electrolysis comeback!
I've had the same kind of thing happen to me....people saying that "they didn't understand why I wear wigs, because all the other women in my family have lovely hair."
My comeback is: "yes, they have good stuff on their heads, and I have even better stuff (brains) IN my head!
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